The Push

Did not finish.

Wow. This was a hard book to stomach.

The struggles this Mom faces are very real. PPD coupled with an unsupportive partner will never make a mother life easier. I honestly cannot believe all the hate I've seen this Mom get as what she was experiencing is a very real thing.

The author did an awesome job at putting you into her head and feel her emotions throughout the book. Every time her husband brushed her off it filled me with a deep sorrow for her.

So many things were done right in the book and really there isn't a great way to broach the topic. If you have an aversion to raw emotions or child loss maybe stay away. If you've never dealt with PPD or are judgemental towards those who experience it, spare your negativity and move on.

The anger I felt while reading The Push was so intense. The way Blythe's husband Fox refused to even entertain the idea that she wasn't imagining things, or exaggerating, or just over-tired, or any other number of excuses was absolutely infuriating. So many people, women especially, know what it feels like to not be believed, and Ashley Audrain captures those feelings so well that even if you don't know how it feels, you'll know after you've read this book. Something like this should be required reading for people with a history of refusing to seriously listen to their partners.
Not only did Blythe struggle with not being believed, but she struggled with the difficulties of being a mother and the expectations of motherhood placed upon her not only by Fox, his family, and society in general, but by herself as well. It was especially hard to read about the lack of support Blythe received from Fox. He had a specific idea of what he wanted in a wife and mother of his children, and he just didn't want to see anything that could make her less than perfect. As Blythe says of Fox: “You wanted a perfect mother for your perfect daughter, and there wasn't room for anything else.” Watching her deal with all the pressure without proper help and understanding was truly heartbreaking and I imagine too relatable for a lot of mothers.
I like the way The Push is written, as if it's a long letter from Blythe to Fox. Reading it feels like peeking in on something personal and intimate. It's not my business, but I'm nosy. And I enjoyed the bit of mystery over whether or not Blythe was a reliable narrator (though I am one to believe women...).
This was a great emotional and fast-paced read, one that I didn't want to put down. I'm glad I finally got around to reading it!

This was absolutely not what I expected when I started the book, but I was so absolutely gripped by it I just couldn't put it down and read it all in 2 sittings.

It was so raw and unflinching in the thoughts and descriptions of motherhood, some of which resonated with me. It's absolutely terrifying to think of the things in this book happening to your own child, its every parent's nightmare.

I also thought the second person POV was an interesting choice, I normally don't get on with it but it really worked in this case.

4.5 Not entirely sure how I got through this book in one piece. So many triggers and fears in one psychological thriller. Multi-generational trauma. Issues with reality-testing. Abandonment issues. Profound maternal failure. And while the basic premise feels far fetched, the emotional resonance is so so real.

4/5

now i'm scared to have kids

Motherhood can be really rough and this book takes us to the harder side of that.

Blythe was raised by a man who longs for a wife who left after deciding being a mom wasn't what she wanted in life. Due to this rough upbringing Blythe is concerned immensely as to how she'll be as a mother now that she is expecting her first child with her college sweetheart Fox.

When Violet arrives into this world Blythe is not ready for the harsher side of parenting and lack of freedom she now encounters. Violet isn't keen on Blythe either even from a very young age, she just knew her mom wasn't happy to be a mom. Blythe has a really hard time liking Violet when she sees just how not normal she is. Violet is an odd child and seems to always be scheming on ways to torture Blythe. All that changes when Sam enters the world, he is everything that Blythe dreamed a child could be. When tragedy strikes Blythe must face her past demons head on.

I enjoyed this book, but there are spots I felt were a bit slow. I found the internal struggle of being a mother and not meeting expectations to be relevant. I'm happy to see that discussed considering how taboo it is for a mother to have moments of not wanting the job. There are aspects of the book I felt should have been a tad bit more elaborate, such as a quick view point from Violet's pov and how she is with her new life. Overall I recommend this book but do be prepared for a slow burn read.

I really enjoyed this book. I found myself desperate to know where this went, on the edge of my seat with every chapter. The end was more subtle than I expected, but as I grapple with my expectations, I am also fascinated by how this story was told. It takes time to understand this story, told through the lens of the mothers of several generations. It's a study on motherhood, the expectations people put on women and mothers, grief, and generational trauma.

The book's climax was undeniably in the middle of the book. The second part of this book explores grief in a very detailed and compelling way. But it also loses a bit of the tension by punching you in the heart early on, as we try to understand that event through the eyes of someone we don't know is a reliable narrator or not.

What holds this book back from a 5-star rating is its ending. I kept expecting a huge twist or some chapter that revealed something that made everything suddenly make sense. We didn't get that, but rather we confirmed the suspicion we had all along. For as thrilling and confused as I was throughout the chapters, I wanted something more impactful as an ending.

I read this book 6 months ago but I can't stop thinking about it. It was disturbing and creepy and while there were some elements I liked, I just can't get over the icky feeling I had while reading it. However, I can't stop thinking on it so I'm bumping it up from 2 stars to 3.5... that being said, I need to stop reading thrillers that involve kids - I'm not strong enough for this anymore.

you better believe if I have a child who gives even a whiff of being this psychotic, I'm smothering the shit out of it and then my useless husband

what useless, USELESS, fucking people lmao

thank you to this book for reminding me that some people are not meant to be parents and it is highly likely that i am one of those people

4.8 -OMG WHY DID IT HAVE TO END LIKE THAT


Okay, this was an emotional rollercoaster.. very heavy on the psychological drama. I really felt the main character's uncertainty and fear, however, it kinda felt dragged on (why it's not 5 stars for me). Like, yes, I know you are feeling this way,and it sucks but like, do something about it. Idk maybe I'm just too harsh on the circumstances in which she was in. It's a very interesting perspective on motherhood as well since we get a feel of three generations of women and their trickling impact (good and bad) on eachother. I think if I remove myself from the story it's 5 stars for me so I'll round up lol the things she did as a mother are not things I would do (or agree with) especially when it came to her daughter. I couldn't empathize entirely but i did when it came to her son, for sure. The ending made me release the breath I didn't even know I was holding

this was fantastic.

Couldn't put this book down, loved the writing style and everything tied together. I read this the same week as watching The Lost Daughter but somehow still want to have kids, shockingly.

Also, I feel like it would be fun to make note of which actors I visualized as the characters while reading–I don't always mentally cast characters, but I did for these three:

Mrs. Ellington: Gina Torres
Fox: Roby Attal
Gemma: Caitlin Fitzgerald

At first, I was put off by the second person narration. However, as the story goes on and it swaps every now and then, it begins to make sense why the author chose this tense. It draws the reader in to the woman's feelings - it's especially compelling to note that we spend most of this book never knowing her name: she's just a girl who becomes a woman who becomes a wife who becomes a mother.

I'm not one for thrillers, so I actually spoiled the ending for myself before I read the book. I can honestly say it didn't lessen the emotional rollercoaster that this whole story takes you on. I found it nearly impossible to put down, even knowing how it ended. This is a great one.

this one was a tough read. i started it in august or september of 2021 and i had to put it down because it was making me very, very anxious. but it was really good.

After seeing so many positive reviews of this debut novel on Booktube, I was intrigued and decided to read it. I was a little nervous about the subject matter, but I ended up finding it quite interesting and somewhat provocative.

The main character, Blythe Connor, does not descend from motherly women. Instead, both her grandmother and mother were ill-equipped for motherhood and left their families. Because of this, Blythe is understandably nervous about becoming a mother. Her inner dialogue is very honest about her feelings about motherhood and her concerns about her daughter, Violet. The author is not afraid to reveal thoughts that some women might feel about being a mother, thoughts that challenge the traditional idea that women are natural nurturers. Without demonizing Blythe, the author shows the struggle that some women face when they become mothers.

The husband in this story is not very understanding of what his wife is experiencing. This makes him a frustrating character. He dismisses her concerns about their daughter and only sees their situation through his narrow viewpoint. However, he is justified in his concern over some of the actions Blythe takes while caring for their children. He just does not respond to the incidents in a way that shows any desire to help or understand Blythe.

The plot of the story jumps around occasionally to past events with Blythe and her mother, Cecilia and past events with Cecilia and her mother, Etta. These flashbacks add backstory that allows for a better understanding of the feelings and behaviors of Blythe. The end of the book falls a little flat because it is predictable, but it does not ruin the story.

This was an interesting and thought-provoking read. I would highly recommend it!

motherhood seems Frightening

Full review to come.

This book was a surprise for me. I was intrigued by the premise but unsure I would like it.
This was so good! The writing was addictive and I didn't want to stop listening to it. The story is captivating for sure. I couldn't make up my mind about what was going on. The way it was told kept me guessing. There's a lot to process about it.
I think after a certain development, it dragged a little bit but I still enjoyed it very much.
A great debut!

Blythe, mother to Violet and Sam, comes from two generations of dysfunctional families: Blythe's mother, Cecilia left her husband and her child when Blythe was eleven. Blythe only ever saw her mother twice later on and never in a positive way.Cecilia's mother Etta (»born on the very same day World War II began«) - Blythe's grandmother - suffered from a severe psychological disorder (possibly depression) that rendered her completely unable to care for herself and her family. In 1972, in her early thirties (roughly around the time Blythe must have been born), Etta took her own life.When Fox Connor met Blythe during their late teens he's immediately “smitten” and doesn't hide it. From the very beginning Fox knows he wants to start a family with Blythe because he »love[s] what a good mother [she]'ll be one day« whereas Blythe is sceptical about motherhood from the start.»She tried very hard to be the woman she was expected to be.A good wife. A good mother.Everything seemed like it would be just fine.«(About Etta, right after we get to know about Blythe's feelings...)Nevertheless, Blythe and Fox marry each other and, indeed, »Everything seemed like it would be just fine.«. Ok, so, Blythe's parents are absent from her wedding but that's just a tiny thing. A small crack at most, eh?Marriage at 25, set up for a happily ever after, pregnant with the first child, Violet, only a few years after (around 27) with Blythe »pretending I was perfect for you for years« (Fox being the “you”).And this is how it starts... Blythe desperately tries to get rid of her absent mother Cecilia who still looms in the back of her mind. Cecilia, who had no chance to be a mother, whose own mother, Etta, born on the brink of the worst breach of humanness of the 20th century, who must have waged her own war against herself. Neither Etta nor Cecilia had a chance. Regularly switching the perspective from Blythe's - who delivers her side of the story as our narrator - to Cecilia's and Etta's in the past, we witness how the past subtly and almost invisibly helped shape current-day Blythe. Blythe is haunted by her mother's spectre, trying to fulfill a role, wanting to be anyone but her mother while having »thoughts most mothers don't have«. Mirroring Etta, Blythe, too, develops small issues - like imagining a seven-months old Violet deliberately pushing her away.Those small issues erode Blythe; one small droplet after another they wash away Blythe's “substance” until a chasm, an abyss has been created that insurmountably separates Blythe from both her child and her husband.Obviously, having another child - Sam - must be the solution... And things surprisingly do seem to get slightly better. Until something happens to Sam...While at times we uncomfortably witness the issues of a mother who tries to be the best she can, from that point onward, things quickly erode. The short chapters make for a feeling of a fast pace even though Blythe's unravelling, her true descent into something we like to call “madness” because it makes things easier for us, in truth it's slow.Only late in the book, barely before a certain revealing and unusual switch of perspectives, I suspected the truth of the matter...It's an eerie story, Audrain tells us. All the more frightening for its plausibility and its implications about all of us. About you and me.There's just one thing that mars this great book and that, of all things, is its final sentence. The healing that had begun can only come to a screeching halt after this. That sentence almost invalidates what came before it and only serves the author and not the story. And yet: Five out of five stars. P.S.: Thanks for the recommendation, Marta! Blog Facebook Twitter Instagram

Chilling and devastating. A portrait of a complicated mother /daughter relationship- with some seriously sinister undertones, scattered with deep loss and aching grief. Child related trigger warnings galore (I don't want to spoil the plot)

whoever shelved this book as a thriller was drunk or delusional and is responsible for my emotional breakdown

I do think this book was extremely interesting but I don't think the idea is necessarily original. I did enjoy my time reading it but I don't think this book will have a lasting impact on me.

2.5