The Push

made me feel TERRIBLE and ICKY, four stars

5 stars this wasn't what I was expecting, but shiiiit.

“A mother's heart breaks a million ways in her lifetime.”

Determined to be a better mother than her own and give her husband the picture-perfect life he longs for, Blythe tries to dote upon her daughter Violet. Violet doesn't make it easy, though: she is a difficult baby and a mystifying toddler with a mean streak, who seems set on making Blythe miserable. Motherhood finally clicks for Blythe with the arrival of their second child, a son named Sam, with whom Blythe bonds and feels the unwavering love she never felt for Violet. After a shocking tragedy changes their family forever, Blythe wonders: is she overreacting, or is there something genuinely wrong with her daughter?

I found this book incredibly hard to put down. The short chapters sucked me in, and the oftentimes disturbing look at motherhood coupled with the tension between Blythe and Violet was compelling. The stylistic choice behind the narration took a few chapters for me to get used to, but I felt that it worked overall.

It reminded me a bit of We Need to Talk About Kevin in some surface-level ways (the epistolary-esque narration, the father's unwillingness to believe the mother, the bonding with the second child) but was still its own unique story. The depiction of the grieving process is definitely one that will stay with me a long time.

There is disturbing content in this one, though, and I haven't seen a lot in the way of content warnings (though it's possible I've missed them). I'll put some in spoiler tags, in case they are needed:

CW: miscarriage, sexual assault, child abuse, infant death, self-harm, suicide, mental health issues (including postpartum depression); mentions of abortion, racism

All in all, a haunting family drama that I'll be thinking about for quite some time. 4 mother lions out of 5.

The last sentence of this book gave me chills! It can't end there! The Push was a bit different than I expected; I thought it would be more thriller-esque, filled with elements like suspense and twists. While I wish these elements were incorporated into the story more, The Push did not disappoint!

This book reminded me a lot of Verity by Colleen Hoover because of the whole mothers-feeling-iffy-about-their-own-children vibe (is that a vibe?) and really beginning to question the sanity of the moms

Que angústia foi esse livro. Durante toda a leitura eu me senti desconfortável lendo, mas não conseguia parar. É esse tipo de livro mesmo, que é bom mas difícil de engolir. 
Não falo mais pra não dar spoiler. Se for ler, aconselho a não procurar muito sobre ele antes. Quantos menos souber sobre o plot, melhor vai ser a leitura.

There are very few words to describe how I felt reading this book. I said WTF in my head with every turn of the page. Maybe that says it all.

This book. Where do I even begin?! It was unexpectedly cathartic. (I'm someone who was devastated by not being able to become a mother, and I'm also someone whose mother and grandmothers didn't know how to offer or receive love.) Brilliant. In every way. What a first novel!

Solid book but less of a thriller, more of a multigenerational family drama

Wow. This book is a knockout. It's electric. I have literally just finished the ending and it has made all the hairs on the back of my neck prick up. This book is hella dark. It's unnerving and psychologically disturbing but it's razor sharp. I have never read a book like it. Like other reviewers have commented on, it straddles the line perfectly between literary fiction and a dark twisty psychological thriller.

This book follows Blythe who falls in love with her husband Fox and decides to have a baby. While she is apprehensive, as she had a difficult relationship with her own mother. She is optimistic that she will take to motherhood like everyone else. But she didn't bargain on her first born being quite so challenging.

This writer is a triumph. She writes suspense so well. This book had me heartbroken then infuriated and then extremely anxious all in the space of a few pages. She can write sharp edges to the plot that are most widely recognised in horror or thriller genre writing but while also juxtaposing the text with insightful and gorgeous literary writing. That ending was everything.

I loved how the novel played with the reliability of the protagonist. I also loved the accessibility the reader is given into the intimacy of the family dynamic. Some scenes in this book are burnt into my brain. This read has a haunting, claustrophobic beauty to it. A masterpiece.

Thanks to the author Ashley Audrain, Penguin UK and NetGalley for a review copy in exchange for an honest review.

Was way less of a thriller than I expected and was hard to get into at first. Not really a “what's wrong with the child” story more of a look through generations of struggling mothers. However, the emotions stirred were really intense. The ending saved all the hard feelings and anger at the characters for me. Gave me a “we need to talk about Kevin” vibe. Also if I could jump in the book and beat up the husband I absolutely would (more rosemary's husband than rosemary's baby)