A Little Life

No puedo creer que lo terminé, vengo leyendo a estos personajes desde enero y ya los sentía tan cercanos que el último 20% del libro me destrozó, nunca leí un libro que se sintiera tan real, tan humano, que cuente las cosas de una manera tan peculiar pero que se sienta como escuchar a un amigo contarte una historia (una con bastante tristeza). El audiolibro de Oliver Wyman es el mejor que escuché, expresa perfectamente todas las emociones de los personajes y me hizo muchísimo más fácil la lectura al ser un libro tan largo. Fue tan doloroso como todo el mundo dice que es, pero aún así tuve una buena experiencia y terminé el libro sintiendo una gran empatía por las personas que pasan a diario por cosas como las que se abordan acá, y, aunque sea, con un poco más de comprensión acerca de estos temas, que no deben ser nada fáciles de plasmar en un libro, y Hanya–haya sido demasiada tragedia o no, eso ya depende de la opinión de cada lector–siento que lo hizo muy bien y se tomó el tiempo de ahondar en los sentimientos de sus personajes, sobre todo de Jude, de una forma en la que su dolor y sus sentimientos traspasaban las páginas y se hacían nuestros, no me topé en mi vida con muchos libros que logren esto y me parece importante que un libro con estos temas esté teniendo tanta visibilidad, porque, aunque a algunos les parezca que está mal tratado y a otros les encante, genera una conversación necesaria para nuestra sociedad y nuestros vínculos con las personas que nos importan, y quizás también con personas que no conozcamos tan bien pero que necesiten ayuda, y tal vez con un mínimo gesto podamos ayudar un poquito a alguien que esté pasando por un mal momento. Uno de los libros que más me impactó y estoy agradecida de haber conocido a sus personajes y su historia.

torture porn with no depth written by an author who doesn't believe in psychology yet tries to explore the psychology of abuse LOL

glad i didn't pay for it :)

Avete presente quelle scritte del tipo “Nuoce gravemente alla salute” che vengono impresse sui pacchetti delle sigarette? Ecco io avrei fatto apporre sulla copertina una scritta del tipo “da leggere se non siete depressi”, oppure “attenzione: altera inevitabilmente l'umore”, o anche “contiene contenuti altamente depressivi”. Una sorta di avviso, un attenzione ai lettori, perchè questo libro è triste, triste al limite dello straziante e a volte questa atmosfera da quasi fastidio, perchè ti sembra quasi disturbante che ad una persona possano capitare così tante situazioni dolorose tutte insieme.

Confesso anche che arrivato ad un terzo del libro ho mollato tutto per un paio di mesi, ma non è che ho letto altro, proprio mi ha fatto allontanare dalla lettura di alcunchè, poi complice la mia regola che non abbandono mai un libro per nessuna ragione al mondo, mi sono fatto coraggio e in tre giorni l'ho letto e concluso. Ora non è che è stata solo la tristezza che porta con se questa storia a farmelo abbandonare per così tanto tempo, ci sono parti (soprattutto le prime) che sono davvero troppo lente e ripetitive; insomma è una lettura complessa e “difficile” da affrontare per tante ragioni.

Se dovessi consigliare questo libro a qualcuno o se qualcuno mi chiedesse se vale la pena leggerlo, probabilmente lo farei, ma metterei un sacco di “se” davanti: “se, sei nel periodo giusto”, “se, non ti stancano le letture lunghe”, “se, non sei particolarmente triste”, “se, non ti disturbano certi argomenti”, “se, non ti rompi le palle a leggere paginate di vie, ristoranti, case di New York”, insomma metterei un sacco di paletti prima del mio consiglio.

Ho letto molti altri libri strazianti come ad esempio “Tutti i bambini tranne uno”, dove un padre scrive della morte di un figlio piccolo, dalla scoperta della malattia fino alla fine; ma questo è veramente un concentrato di tragedia, dolore e accanimento della vita verso una persona e anche di come tutto questo possa portare ad una malattia mentale e a tutti i risvolti che ne conseguono per lui e le persone che decidono di stargli accanto.

Insomma detto tutto questo e non avendo scritto nulla della trama in sè, come d'altronde sai che ti avvisano che “nuoce gravemente alla salute”, ma ti accendi comunque quella sigaretta, lascio a voi la decisione dopo le mie parole se intraprendere o meno questa lettura, che indubbiamente sarà diversa da molto di quello che avete già letto, ma che porta appresso tutto quanto scritto sopra.

):

no no no

jesus. christ. where do i even begin with this book?

i want to start by saying a book has never before made me cry this much. i don't consider myself to be much of a book crier unless it's my absolute favorite series or something. but goddamn this was really something else.

this book is very much a study of trauma, yes, but it talks about so many other things. chronic illness, addiction, success, fame, failure, found families. there is so much inside of this book and it doesn't all flow perfectly but that's because this book truly does not feel like a story, it feels like real life, where things are imperfect and often out of order and irrational.

i've never read about a set of characters that feel more real. there were many times i had to remind myself that these were things that were fictional because of how raw and honest and unflinchingly the story was told it felt it could only be real life.

the way that trauma is discussed in this novel is truly unlike anything i have ever read. it shows the harsh reality that so many things never really leave us. we often like to think of survivors as these individuals who can confidently tell their stories and inspire others and are perfect people afterwards, but this book shows the true reality of the shame, resentment, anger, and self-hatred of trauma. and while it is truly one of the best things to hear when a person can come to terms with themselves and talk openly about the things they've been through, some people never get to that point, and that is an equally important side of trauma to discuss.

it never tries to make jude, or any of the characters, into something they're not. they behave as real people do; imperfectly and flawed. they hurt each other and they lash out when they shouldn't but that's what makes this story so impactful. how real and genuine every character's actions and feelings are portrayed make this so good and why it means so much. i often found myself forgetting i was reading and just feeling like i was another one of jude's friends, watching his life unfold and desperate to try and make him see how beautiful he is but never able to.

i could honestly go on and on about how incredible this book was, i think the last thing i'll say is that, while this is one of the saddest things i have ever read, it has also touched me the most and i know this is a story i will carry with me forever.

3.5/5

a lengthy ad for therapy

My face is tight with tears drying from my cheeks as I write this review for Hanya's paragon of fiction. A Little Life will be a novel perpetually present in my life - the nuanced lessons changing with each decade. In my 20s, I am reading a novel reflexive of the maturing into ourselves we do during this period. The deep friendships we build our lives around, the friends we keep, then lose, then bring back. Our frustrating inability to fully and appropriately react to those in our lives with different privileges, or those with very few. How piercing it is to see someone we love so incredibly deeply and uniquely unable to ever see what we love about them in themselves.

The novel's focus transformed - like a funnel. First deeply analyzing a unique group of four friends, then pulling forward the two bounded by the most uncertainty in their prior lives, then one. The main character the entire time - Jude. The way Hanya supports the optimistic (and privileged) reader rooting for a character so tortuous left me in a puddle at every major event Hanya delivers. And she delivers these moments in a way that mirrors moments in our lives. I compared my own stories, my own friendships in my 20s with the way she laid out the first quarter of the novel. I can't even imagine what will come when I re-read this novel in my 30s, in my 40s, in my 50s... but I can't imagine crying less.

This book got to me. It deals with very heavy topics - I suggest reading the list of trigger warnings beforehand and not to read if you don't think you're in the headspace for it. I was, and it pulled on my every heart string. It made me angry, sad, anxious, joyful, excited, hopeful. The story follows the life of four friends, mainly through the lense of Willem and Jude in particular. We get to know Jude from beginning to end and slowly uncover why he is the way he is, and the horrors he has experienced throughout his life. As heavy and descriptive and detailed as the topics and events were written, I think that's what made me love it - because it felt so real and raw and honest, and I really felt for Jude and everyone else in the story. Of course one can problematize writing a book as heavy as this but I do think it has its place, it's just not for everyone.

It's difficult rating this book.

It took me a while to come out of the world that was created and gather my thoughts up. I'm glad I took some time reading this one. I'm also glad that I've been reading other books so I wasn't as consumed by this book as I would've been otherwise.

I dived into reading it after months of contemplating, reading/watching reviews, spoilers etc. The trigger warnings were intimidating and I for one am not someone who willingly self-inflicts a painful reading experience if that can be helped.

I loved the writing. It made for a hauntingly beautiful experience where I could step into the shoes of the characters, empathise with them, and understand their deepest, darkest thoughts. It was melancholic and there were times where I had to pause and times where I had to divert my mind into something light and cheery. There were times where I felt recognised, moments where I felt understood and although depressing, it felt therapeutic as well in some ways.

Sure there were inconsistencies, irregularities, parts that can be nit-picked upon, parts that went strongly against my beliefs as well, yet... I loved how contrary to what I'd read in reviews, it showed that there can be silver linings to everything, it's the way you choose to view the world. Where at one end you see humans to be the most cruel, despicable creatures, on the other you see the very opposite, the most beautiful, noble creatures. There were parts where I felt overwhelmed with happiness just as much as there were parts that filled me with intense grief. Towards the end I got a shocker despite reading many reviews and I ended up going through the last few chapters really fast and I'm still reeling with its effect on me.

I definitely won't be recommending this book to anyone I personally know. I'd say, read it if it really calls your name as it did for me, and read it only once you've checked all the trigger warnings that come with it as well. It's not a book to be recommended.

En tiedä mitä odotin tältä kirjalta, mutta tätä se ei ollut. Vaikka kirja oli monilta osin todella kaunis, kokonaisuudessa se oli vain kasa ajatuksia irrallisia laitettuna yksien kansien väliin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EDIT

Minulla on ollut hetki aikaa miettiä tätä kirjaa sen lukemisen jälkeen, ja ajattelin laittaa muutan mietinnän tähän. Jos haluat kuitenkin lukea kirjan ilman ennakko-oletuksia älä lue eteenpäin.

TOISAALTA! Jos olet erittäin herkkä, en suosittele tätä kirjaa. Lue jotain muuta. Kirjassa on paljon... shokkiyllätyksiä. Iso punainen varoituskolmio siis tähän.

Elikkäs. Kirja, jonka piti kertoa ystävyydestä, elämässä New Yorkissa, vaikeista asioista yms. Osassa se selkeästi pääsi tavoitteeseensa, osassa ei.

Kirja alkaa sillä että neljä opiskeluaikaista ystävää muuttaa yhteen. Heillä on kaikilla erilaiset taustat ja tulevaisuuden toiveet. Jokaisesta heistä paljastetaan hieman kirjan edetessä ja heidän kimppakämppä elämää on nautinto seurata... paitsi ei ollut.

Ystävistä vain Jude ja Willem saavat oikeastaan mitään aikaa kirjassa, Jude lopulta kaikista eniten. Malcolm ja JB jäävät paljolti taustalle, he ovat siinä vain nimellisesti. Aluksi pidin Juden ja Willemin ystävyydestä, kunnes kirja vei heidän suhteensa hieman erilaiselle tasolle. Joka tapauksessa olisin halunnut enemmän nähdä näitä neljää kaveria enemmän yhdessä, oikeasti uskoa siihen että he ovat ystäviä.

Minua ei oikeastaan haittaa lukea pahoista asioista, niitä tapahtuu koko ajan, se on surullinen osa elämää. Tässä kirjassa on vain jotain sellaista, että tuntuu kuin kirjailija oikein nauttisi hahmojensa kiduttamisesta. Luin pari eri GR-arvostelua ja moni sanoi että se oli suorastaan kidutuspornoa, mitä tässä saatiin todistaa ja olen suorastaan samaa mieltä. Jossain vaiheessa siihen menee maku ja uskottavuus.

Viimeisenä monille kirjailijoille tai käsikirjoittajille sanotaan, ”show, don't tell”, ja se on mielestäni hyvä ohje. On tärkeä nähdä tai lukea millaista esim joidenkin hahmojen välinen suhde on kuin lukea siitä että jotain on nyt tapahtunut heidän välillään ja minun pitäisi vain hyväksyä se, ilman että näen yhtään sellaista oikeasti tapahtuvan. Toivottavasti joku ymmärsi mitä tarkoitan. On eri asia lukea kohtaus vaikka kivasta hetkestä aamupalapöydässä kuin lukea että ”x ja y söivät joka aamu yhdessä”. Tämä kirja oli valitettavan paljon sitä, mitä oli tapahtunut.

Olen silti tyytyväinen, että jaksoin lukea tämän kirjan loppuun saakka, vaikka pari kertaa olin jo luovuttamassa.

4.25

Okay, after thinking about this book a bit more, I think the writing is truly great. I loved that.
But. This book.
Honestly, I am not sure if I am glad that I've read it or not. It's just so frustrating. Not in a bad way, as in it's frustrating to read, but more like frustrating because I wish there was something I could do to help instead of just watching the story unfold - and I know this is just a book but still. I can't even put into words how I feel about this book. I can't imagine it being any different but the fact that it made me hopeful for just one tiny bit and then made sure to completely crush that tiny spark of hope, is just so mean. I knew it was going to be sad but even knowing that did not help. To conclude: This is book is mean.

i no longer exists

what the hell

How can I even review this book? I feel as though there is nothing I could write to do such a masterpiece the justice it deserves. In a word: unforgettable.

I just want to give Jude and Willem and Harold a big hug. Their pain felt so real to me.

A little life is absolutely devastating and relentlessly painful, but so vivid and raw and beautiful. I won't lie, in the first few pages I really thought I was going to be bored and I wondered how on earth I was going to get through over 700 pages - probably the biggest book I've ever read - but I was quickly engulfed by it. I loved and cared for the characters (of which I think Harold was my favourite) so deeply and that's what made this book so agonising to read. I cried at least once a chapter. But even through the worst and most horrible scenes, there were many beautiful ones, however small. Little pockets of light that captured the beauty of loving and being loved.

That being said, I can absolutely say that for many people the traumatising parts of the book (which make up a significant portion) will render it not worth the read. This book comes with HEAVY trigger warnings for a reason - it goes into very graphic detail of self harm, suicide, rape, addiction, physical and sexual abuse. I did at times find myself wondering whether such graphic detail was really necessary to tell the story, and whether there even is any right way to depict such horrific themes. But I think that if there is, then Yanagihara has executed it well. I feel as though she explored and portrayed trauma in a way that makes you understand some of the many complicated ways in which people react to trauma and how it continues to affect them throughout their lives, but without romanticising it in the slightest. I was heartbroken by the end of the book, but I was at peace as well.

Lastly, I adore Yanagihara's style of writing. I feel as though it flows in the exact same way that my thoughts do, which allowed me to glide so effortlessly through the writing and to really feel that I was inside the characters heads. Her ability to create such an intricate world, and characters with such depth and nuance, is astounding. Incredibly well written.

after thinking ab this book for months i can concur : i really hate this book

I finished the book and immediately wanted to rate it five stars because grief was explained so well in the books end. But realistically, there were some things I wished were different.

- The coincidences of every character somehow coming from nothing and becoming millionaires/wealthy/famous is unrealistic.
- When reading, these characters were perpetually 25 years old, regardless of how time shifted. They spoke that way, acted that way, and went about life in certain ways that felt juvenile. This could potentially be fixed if there were some indicators of time and eras. Certain fashion, political or environmental events, or just tweaks in the way a character grows. I guess that's part of the problem too. They didn't seem to grow and so their image didn't either.

I had a little bit more and explained more, but I honestly don't think it's that important anymore. This book was tragic and I think that's essentially the most important thing you need to know going into it. The prose is beautiful. The characters are beautiful. The imagery, dialogue, storytelling, landscape, EVERYTHING was beautiful even with criticism involved.

When I first heard about this book, I knew a lot of people were crying while reading it or simply feeling overwhelmed by Jude's fate. And this was the main reason for me to read it.

It was a long read for me. However I was enjoying it a lot. I loved the way author described emotions and main characters' experiences (both good and bad). While finding out more and more about each aspect of Jude's life story, I was surprised I haven't cried at all. I was scared, I was angry. But no tears... Not how I expected it to be. And when I prepared for the book to be mentally challenging and nothing more, I couldn't even imagine it would make me cry at the very end.

The relationship between Harold and Jude. That's what made me cry and think about the warmth you can get from a parent who truly loves you. I could barely read the last chapter because of the tears in my eyes. The way Harold was describing how “fragile” Jude was, how he saw a kid in him, how he missed everything about him... Still sobbing.

5/5

Overrated.

Many other reviewers have already articulated my thoughts. Please go read theirs. Its the ones star ones.

All I can say is this book is just trauma/abuse dumping, cliche, predictable has been done before in a better way.

I really want to give it one star because I have read emotionally riveting books but this type of writing is a hit or miss. It is so easy to cross the line of to much and to little. Staying in the middle while captivating the audience is a hard thing to do.

For me, I was annoyed with this book since chapter one. There was to much..... well..... I'm just gonna stop here.

2.5 stars. I will start with the good, because I want this review to be fair. There were good things about this book. The best thing for me was the writing itself. Funnily enough, I found it a bit stilted and sparse in the beginning and almost put the book down because of it. But eventually, it became clear just how talented of a writer Yanagihara really is. Her way with words is simply incredible. I will also say that the book is compelling, and I was rarely bored. I did care about the characters, and I felt a lot during the course of the story.

However (and this is a really big “however”), I would not actually recommend this book. It is difficult to go into why without spoilers, so if you want the reasons, look at the top negative reviews. They contain a lot of valid points.

The main thing I want to mention is that the messaging that surrounds this book extremely misleading. It is NOT “the next great gay novel” unless you equate being gay with suffering. It is not, in my opinion, even about the four friends, as we are promised. It's about two of the four friends, with the third contributing occasional drama in the background to further the pair's story, and the fourth basically forgotten after the first few chapters. (He's still mentioned, but he has no story, no relevance, no growth. He's a cardboard cutout that happens to design buildings.)

It is, basically, about a man carrying horrible trauma from his childhood. Even the relationship between Jude and Willem takes a backseat to Jude's trauma. There are occasional peeks into the lives of the others (especially in the beginning, when the author is keeping Jude mysterious by withholding his perspective from us), but this is the main focus.

If you think 750 pages of misery (with very occasional, very minimal bouts of happiness sprinkled within) sounds like a great way to spend your time, go for it! If, however, you're just curious about the hype, I would advise skipping it. Read Song of Achilles if you want to feel lots of emotions and cry over gays.

–

If you are considering reading A Little Life, please know that it comes with a long list of very dark trigger warnings, including extremely graphic depictions of self-harm.

“...things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.”

“It is also then that I wish I believed in some sort of life after life, that in another universe, maybe on a small red planet where we have not legs but tails, where we paddle through the atmosphere like seals, where the air itself is sustenance, composed of trillions of molecules of protein and sugar and all one has to do is open one's mouth and inhale in order to remain alive and healthy, maybe you two are there together, floating through the climate. Or maybe he is closer still: maybe he is that gray cat that has begun to sit outside our neighbor's house, purring when I reach out my hand to it; maybe he is that new puppy I see tugging at the end of my other neighbor's leash; maybe he is that toddler I saw running through the square a few months ago, shrieking with joy, his parents huffing after him; maybe he is that flower that suddenly bloomed on the rhododendron bush I thought had died long ago; maybe he is that cloud, that wave, that rain, that mist. It isn't only that he died, or how he died; it is what he died believing. And so I try to be kind to everything I see, and in everything I see, I see him.”

this takes the cake for saddest book I've ever read

This was the hardest read I've read to date. I was rooting for Jude the whole time but boy did this tear me up. Im giving it a four star because it was well done and heart wrenching through each part. This one will forever stay with me. Since its mental health awareness month i can appreciate this story and having read it at least once in my lifetime.

it hurts, tbh.