The Mahabharata of Krishna-Dwaipayana Vyasa, Volume 1 Books 1, 2 and 3

If you like stories featuring vengeful mothers, perverted priests, lying gods, giant cannibals, and (my personal favorite) a snake that's really sick of his family's shit - then you'll enjoy this book. That is, if you can keep track of literally hundreds of named characters (each with multiple names), not to mention the over-the-top translation work.

Honestly, I think I made the book sound way more interesting than it really is (at least in the beginning).

I'm not one to shy away from ancient literature, and I've enjoyed Indian literature before (the Panchatantra was surprisingly comedic) - so I'm not sure if the Mahabharata itself was dry, confusing, and dull, or if the translation was just lacking. The translation was all over the place, with the names of characters changing on a whim (as if they weren't difficult enough to keep track of), and word usage that was oddly out of place for the context.

All of the interesting imagery and mythical storylines happened near the end - though I know this is no fault of the translator - with the first 80% of the story being dedicated to various gods convincing women that they'd remain chaste and virginal after sleeping with them (yeah, sure buddy). Once you get past the fact that the story is literally told in reverse while the audience continuously asks the storyteller to explain how the hell the characters of each story got there in the first place, things will make more sense.

Or will they?

I tried committing the names of the characters of the first few tales to memory, but after realizing that the translator didn't give a shit about consistency, I gave up and just accepted the fact that everyone in the story had five names, and some weren't even human/gods despite there being no reference to the contrary.

Oh, sorry, were you imagining this guy as a warrior? Whoops, he's a snake.