Openly Straight

Note to self: Avoid like the f-ing plague.

Exhibit A: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1956958945?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1

Exhibit B: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1955429245?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1

boohoo. it's so hard being a cis white gay and acting like an asshole to literally everybody. woe is me, or whatever

I unexpectedly... hated this book. If you're looking for a cute LGBT+ romance - this isn't it. If you're looking for a likable protagonist - this isn't it. And that's the crux of the issue, I hate Rafe. He is in turns judgemental about everyone, woe is me about being ‘labled', and self-congratulatory about how open minded he is. It drove me nuts! I finished this book in the hopes of satisfying character growth. Alas, this did not happen.

I really enjoyed this book. Bill Konigsberg really knows how to transmit the feelings between Ben and Rafe. I'm going to keep reading his books because I couldn't tolerate that end.
My favorite quote: “How do you take a break from who you are, Shay Shay?”

I listened to the audiobook version of this and highly recommend it!

This is the story of Rafe a teenager who has been openly Gay in his hometown for quite a while. Rage decides he's tired of being the “gay kid” in his small town and takes the chance to go to all boys boarding school across the country for his Junior year and start fresh.

While at this new school he never outwardly admits to being Gay in his mind if he no one asks he won't tell and it won't be a lie. (This actually drives me nuts because then he actually does start lying, multiple times and still stubbornly doesn't see it as a problem or the same as being in the closet. But to each their own I guess)

While at school Rafe makes friends with the jocks, kids who would have never accepted him back home, and enjoys being just “one of the guys”. That is until he starts getting close to Ben.

Ben is different. Not judgmental like the other guys, and he doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him. He's deep and thoughtful and Rafe falls for him hard. That's of course where all the trouble starts.

This book was actually really sweet. And it was hard to not fall for Ben yourself seeing him through Rafe's eyes. I really enjoyed this book, it had me laughing at times and at others crying and I can't wait to pick up the sequel.

This was soooo good!

J'ai bien aimé l'idée originale de ce roman : après avoir passé des années en étant gay assumé au lycée, Rafe profite d'un changement de lycée pour retourner dans le placard où il n'avait jamais vraiment été jusque là. Sauf qu'il fait la connaissance de Ben, un garçon qui ne le laisse pas indifférent. Cela donne un récit sympathique et plaisant.

I have to say that I was excited to read this book given the majority of positive reviews on Amazon and Goodreads; whose readers I feel, are much more critical, that's why I was pretty disappointed and confused with my overall take away from this story. It was struggle to finish this book as I was tempted quite a few times to stop listening (audiobook), give it a 1-star rating and a scathing review.

The first and probably the most blaring downfall of this book is the fact that the main character Rafe, is abhorrent. He is a self-loathing, judgmental, homophobic, selfish jerk who doesn't deserve Ben, one of this new friends that eventually becomes his love interest. As a matter of a fact the whole premise of this story is pretty much based on internalized homophobia and its incredibly problematic. Going to a new school to re-invent yourself is not an unheard of concept but what Rafe does is essentially go back into the closet after being an out, gay advocate. He lies to his new friends and schoolmates that he is straight, turns his best friend from back home into his girlfriend from back home. I understand that this is a coming-of-age story and these are high school kids who are still figuring out the complexity of sexuality and understanding themselves but this is a work of fiction and it could have been presented better. To play devils advocate I can somewhat understand Rafe/ the author's argument of not wanting to be defined by labels like being Gay, being the token gay, being the resident gay etc but the fact is Rafe hasn't accepted being gay (which is acknowledged in the book) , he treats it like it's something he can turn on and off, as if he is changing clothes. His asks his best friend from back home and his incredibly supportive parents to lie for him even though they pretty much tell him that this choice he made is a mistake and he'll regret it he just continues anyway, also he treats them terribly. He treats the other gay characters in the book as less than, especially if they are “flamboyant” or expressive in any way because they aren't “normal acting or looking” like he is.
Spoilers In the final chapters after he has wrecked his budding relationship with Ben he seemingly comes to realize the error of his lies and selfish ways but even after this realization, he makes homophobic remarks regarding one kid as “super queeny”.

The Good stuff Spoilers
Ben. He's basically a gentle giant but not afraid to stand up for himself or others. He's an intellectual and a thinker, he doesn't like to follow the crowd or the mindset of most of this jock peers. Also his friendship with his (former) roommate Bryce, I would love a spin-off just featuring those two and their friendship, hell I'd even welcome a story of Toby and Alby over Rafe.

The relationship with Rafe is actually pretty sweet and enduring, decent pacing, Ben actually starts off not liking Rafe (should have followed his first instinct) and when they finally consumate their feelings it was really tender and exciting (albeit short)

I like the excerpts from Rafe's journal throughout the book, even though they mostly provide more insight to Rafe's ungratefulness and overall awfulness it's still a nice touch from a technical standpoint. His English teacher, who assigned this journal to him acts as a guide to draw Rafe out of the facade he has created at his new school, I think the author relies on this to justify Rafe's actions but they the it happened-for me at least- it was too late.

Overall, Rafe is trash and the authors' point of not sticking labels was unfortunately lost in translation. The follow-up to this novel is out and it picks up right were the first one left off but from Ben's perspective so I will check that out in hopes that those negative, backwards themes are not carried over and there is less of Rafe with none of his thoughts.

P.S. Since I had the audiobook version of this novel I should mention that the narrator, Peter Cross, did an impressive emotional job (given the horrible character he had to work with)

I must say that while I did like Bill Knoigsberg's writing, I wasn't seduced by this story. I don't know what was missing exactly but the whole felt a bit flat to me. I think Rafe's struggle, while well described, isn't really understood, and I had a hard time understanding his way of acting, while the course of event was by far too predictable. Still I had a nice moment reading this book, hence the 3 stars.

I was scrolling through my read books and apparently I've read this almost four years ago?? I literally have absolutely no memory of reading this. I swear I've never seen this cover a day in my life. The synopsis rings no bells. I'm so confused. I've never been more confused.

Someone call my FBI agents. I need an explanation.

I'd like to point out I read this one in a day! It's a fantastic read and I found it sp relatable that parts of the story really hit home. 4/5

Rafe thinks it will be no big deal to keep the fact that he is gay a secret. He doesn't want his sexuality to be the only thing people see about him. He sees boarding school as a chance for others to know him in other ways. What he discovers is that you can't lie about or avoid a big chunk of how you experience the world, then think you can build a true relationship.

I once told a small lie to protect someone, but the lie grew, and lasted more years than I want to say. The initial lie was manageable, but the continuous lies to keep up the first one were what became hurtful. I had to confess to the person I'd lied to, and no matter how I tried to explain I'd no intention of hurting anyone, the person I'd deceived never quite forgave me. Several months ago, someone else tried to persuade me to tell another small lie which, older and wiser, I knew would end up too big to handle again. I apologized, and said no. Rafe got the lesson a lot quicker.

Rafe is very likable. Even when he is lying or making mistakes, it's easy to be in his corner. I find myself hoping the author will allow us to catch up with him in the future. I'll be the first person in line to buy a copy. (Okay, okay, I meant to say I'll happily preorder it for my Kindle!)

Lastly, the ending was honest, and fair. Which isn't to say it ended exactly how all readers would like, but it felt authentic.