Openly Straight

I have to say that I was excited to read this book given the majority of positive reviews on Amazon and Goodreads; whose readers I feel, are much more critical, that's why I was pretty disappointed and confused with my overall take away from this story. It was struggle to finish this book as I was tempted quite a few times to stop listening (audiobook), give it a 1-star rating and a scathing review.

The first and probably the most blaring downfall of this book is the fact that the main character Rafe, is abhorrent. He is a self-loathing, judgmental, homophobic, selfish jerk who doesn't deserve Ben, one of this new friends that eventually becomes his love interest. As a matter of a fact the whole premise of this story is pretty much based on internalized homophobia and its incredibly problematic. Going to a new school to re-invent yourself is not an unheard of concept but what Rafe does is essentially go back into the closet after being an out, gay advocate. He lies to his new friends and schoolmates that he is straight, turns his best friend from back home into his girlfriend from back home. I understand that this is a coming-of-age story and these are high school kids who are still figuring out the complexity of sexuality and understanding themselves but this is a work of fiction and it could have been presented better. To play devils advocate I can somewhat understand Rafe/ the author's argument of not wanting to be defined by labels like being Gay, being the token gay, being the resident gay etc but the fact is Rafe hasn't accepted being gay (which is acknowledged in the book) , he treats it like it's something he can turn on and off, as if he is changing clothes. His asks his best friend from back home and his incredibly supportive parents to lie for him even though they pretty much tell him that this choice he made is a mistake and he'll regret it he just continues anyway, also he treats them terribly. He treats the other gay characters in the book as less than, especially if they are “flamboyant” or expressive in any way because they aren't “normal acting or looking” like he is.
Spoilers In the final chapters after he has wrecked his budding relationship with Ben he seemingly comes to realize the error of his lies and selfish ways but even after this realization, he makes homophobic remarks regarding one kid as “super queeny”.

The Good stuff Spoilers
Ben. He's basically a gentle giant but not afraid to stand up for himself or others. He's an intellectual and a thinker, he doesn't like to follow the crowd or the mindset of most of this jock peers. Also his friendship with his (former) roommate Bryce, I would love a spin-off just featuring those two and their friendship, hell I'd even welcome a story of Toby and Alby over Rafe.

The relationship with Rafe is actually pretty sweet and enduring, decent pacing, Ben actually starts off not liking Rafe (should have followed his first instinct) and when they finally consumate their feelings it was really tender and exciting (albeit short)

I like the excerpts from Rafe's journal throughout the book, even though they mostly provide more insight to Rafe's ungratefulness and overall awfulness it's still a nice touch from a technical standpoint. His English teacher, who assigned this journal to him acts as a guide to draw Rafe out of the facade he has created at his new school, I think the author relies on this to justify Rafe's actions but they the it happened-for me at least- it was too late.

Overall, Rafe is trash and the authors' point of not sticking labels was unfortunately lost in translation. The follow-up to this novel is out and it picks up right were the first one left off but from Ben's perspective so I will check that out in hopes that those negative, backwards themes are not carried over and there is less of Rafe with none of his thoughts.

P.S. Since I had the audiobook version of this novel I should mention that the narrator, Peter Cross, did an impressive emotional job (given the horrible character he had to work with)