How to Be Eaten

The Bachelor is mashed with classic fairy tales through the setting of a support group for modern women dealing with their trauma. Each chapter is a different woman's story. Each one is captivating and disturbing. 

Through all the stories is an underlying plot where the “therapist”, a man wearing a human suit to play the role of a young and attractive male, has something nefarious planned. The ending reveal of who he is was quite a twist, I'd grown convinced that he was Raina's former lover Rumpelstiltskin when he was really her current husband - host of The One (aka torture chamber/traumatic version of The Bachelor). Outside of that mystery, I loved watching the women grow to support each other and pull out what it means to be a woman in this world.“Maybe don't even be out there, on the street, not if it's dark, not if you're a kid, not if you're a woman, not without a rape whistle around your neck, not without pepper spray clutched in your hand, not, anyway, if you're wearing that outfit”“Morals create a labyrinth of rule geared toward blaming the victim...““Brandon chose you. But what if it were the other way around? What if it were your choice? What would you choose?”“Come on, I gave the fucker the address.” “I practically moved in with the fucker,” said Bernice. “Great, so we're both idiots,” said Ruby.

I really liked the beginning of this book and the premise but there was really next to nothing to make these girls any kind of engaging and their stories just seemed to unwind rather than go anywhere if that makes any sense?

I should have given up when the girl thinking in emojis came up, I speak pretty fluent brain rot (ask my gen Z kiddo they'll tell you how cringe I can be with that stuff) but that was next level insufferable and tedious. To be honest while I technically finished reading the book, I skimmed pretty heavily near the end (last 20%) in the sense that I felt my mind glazing over while reading but refused to back track. I'm just not going to rate this book because I probably won't remember anything about it except the semen covered fur coat and the speaking furniture made from dead women (or at least speaking in their voice, I might have missed something).

Liked it at the beginning, was creepy & fun. Then I got bored and it got too weird

3.5 stars.

The premise seemed a little forced and a lot of the resolutions never happened.

Compelling retellings of the stories though.

Darker than I usually enjoy my fairy tales (well, fairy tales are often dark, so perhaps I should say “more modern” than I usually like my fairy tales, haha)–but I will say, I did enjoy the ending!

I devoured this book in two days. The characters and short story format kept me engaged. The interludes and ending were the least interesting part. I wish the “twist” was more compelling.

Hmm, 3.5? Sharp and well-written, but there were a couple of plot points that didn't add up. Still, a good read.

“Dark, edgy, and wickedly funny” - yes, yes, and yes. How to Be Eaten is a gorgeously written story about a modern-day support group comprised of five women who've survived so-called fairy tales, from the traditional (like Gretel, who - unsurprisingly - struggles with a deep mistrust of food and those who try to feed her) to the contemporary (like Ashlee, the 21-year-old ‘winner' of the most recent Bachelor). It is TWISTED, and it is excellent.

In terms of plot, it of course reminded me of The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix, which I enjoyed - but I'd put TFGSG squarely in the thriller category, whereas I think How To Be Eaten is more ambiguous. It has thriller-esque elements, particularly around the therapist and his motivations, but it's much more character-driven than your typical mystery, and there's magical realism too. I'd actually compare it most closely to Silvia Moreno-Garcia's Mexican Gothic - both books expertly create a sense of creeping unease (and visceral shock!) as you move through them.

The one thing I didn't like about this book was the cover - I think it's misleading. It suggests that Ruby's (Little Red Riding Hood's) story will be the central one, but that's not the case. (The women get roughly equal ‘page time', but if there's an argument to be made for one central character, I'd go with Bernice or maybe Raina.) I would have preferred a more abstract design, or one that managed to integrate elements of all five women's stories - I think that would have set a much stronger orientation.

That said, I loved this book. I loved it so much I had to force myself to stop reading when I was 70% of the way through so that I could savor it through more than one sitting. To put it in context, I read an absurd amount - I'm at 80+ books in 2022 so far - and I can already tell this will be a contender for one of my favorites.

Thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company for my ARC.