Crying in H Mart

Absolutely heartwarming and important. This memoir forces you to consider your own relationship with your parents, and teaches you that they are just regular people with children.

I called my mom when I finished and I sent her a copy. If you are able to, give your mom a call too.

Michelle Zauner exploration in grief and complicated relationships will stay with you long after the titular event.

The author takes us deep into her lived experience going through all that she did; the intimate details and Korean phrases/words/locations help envision exactly how she felt at each moment. To those that understood the technical words and phrases, there's probably even more of an understanding than I could gather. I learned a lot about Korean culture. I felt as if there's not much of a plotline as everything surrounds this singular experience, which can be a pro or a con depending on your preferences.

Found certain parts and statements to be very relevant to my own experiences and relationships, which was completely unexpected. Hugged my mom a little harder after finishing this.

3.5 stars. I think giving reviews on books that you love (or loath) is much easier than reviewing a book that you thought was good, better than good, but not great. I enjoyed this book. I felt like the first chapter was a home run. It could have been a stand-alone article and I would have enjoyed it. The rest of the book was good but didn't have the same flair. Writing about grief and trying to understand it is a huge undertaking and I thought the way she used her personal experiences with culture, life, and food expressed her love and appreciation for her mother well.

I had assumed this book was about what it's like to be an Asian American so I didn't think I would relate too much, but the author is actually half white/half Korean, and as a fellow half-Asian I feel so seen

3.5

I enjoyed this book, don't get me wrong but I agree with other readers when they say that this was written for the author. There are many important themes like grief, loneliness, complex family relationships, cultural acceptance and so much more. I had the joy of listening to this memoir read by the author themselves and that gave it a more personal touch. Not a bad read and I enjoyed the way it was written, I hope that this book helps others feel not alone in their grief

i listened to the audiobook & it is beautifully read & the text was written with so much grief & love & thoughtfulness, it is tough to have so many conflicting emotions & find a way to put them into words so concisely but michelle achieved that. i saw japanese breakfast open for alex g in 2017 without knowing much about them outside of the music & i really enjoyed experiencing this book, it is emotional to now know some of what michelle was going through in the years leading up to the show i saw

Possibly the best/worst book I could've read before a trip to Korea. It doesn't help that every time I'm in Korea or leave the motherland, I bawl my eyes out, but I'll get reminded of this book.

What a wonderfully written book that captures so many emotions that I've harbored. Potentially my favorite book of the year.

This was a powerful and moving book. I didn't think that I would find Michelle's story so relatable given my non-Korean heritage and my still-kicking parents; I was caught by surprise with every nostalgic jolt I got each time she'd recall wandering through aisles of foreign food, having people search her face for traces of her heritage, or being resentful of the language barrier (and for not paying more attention in language school). I had no trouble placing myself in her shoes and my reward was a depth of experience and a richness of emotion that I don't often get in the types of books I typically read. As I move forward this will be my gold standard for memoirs, the bar that all others will be measured against.

There is so much stuff in just 256 pages to unpack: there's growing up in the US as an immigrant, finding an identity, and questioning your parents, there's the death of her mother and her mournful journey, and there's her love of music and art and its place her life. What resonated the most for me were the questions of identity. As a son of immigrants, I could really relate to a childhood full of foreign sounds and smells, and tastes; I also remember the looks of relatives and new acquaintances as they searched me for clues of heritage and race. The tales of a rebellious youth that by American standards wasn't very rebellious at all reminded me of my own search for agency and meaning, and how difficult it was for my parents to relate. Michelle Zauner does an incredible job explaining the pressure to be Korean that invaded all facets of her life and identity, the struggle of growing up separated from the society and social mores that her parents adhered to (and in turn now expect her to adhere to) for so much of their lives.

More than anything else this book made me want to hug my mom and spend a weekend eating meals that I desperately need to learn to make. Her connection to her mother through food absolutely rang true for me, and I imagine it rings true for everyone. Her connection to her culture through food was another element that I found myself nodding along in agreement to, what's a Korean without Kimchi and Banchan or an Arab without Hummus and a million little salads. I couldn't help thinking that I am just the same, most of my cultural memory is food related and all my highlights from trips to the motherland are wrapped up in memories of delicious things. This book will if nothing else get you to try a few Korean recipes, some of the meals she describes made my mouth water as I imagined along with her.

TL;DR: It will make you sad and it will make you hungry. Hug your mom and eat her cooking as much as you can while you still can. When the day comes that you can't do those things anymore, the best thing for it, is to make that food for yourself.

The beginning of this story did not make me interested. But as the story progressed, I changed my mind. It was a memoir of a Korean woman who grew up feeling like an outsider because of the way she was raised, which she felt was much different than many of her classmates. as an adult, she realizes the how and why of the way of her path. It's a great story of family, and I would recommend.

4.5. RTC

I've never read a book like Crying in H Mart, that saw me so clearly and wrapped me up so fully.

My mom came to the US from China in her 20s and met my dad, a white East Coaster who now has a new Chinese wife after they divorced. I grew up mixed, in suburban Massachusetts where my race was a source of confusion and the butt of jokes for my 98% white classmates. I rejected my culture, and in many ways my own mother, in many of the same ways Michelle did. Her accounts of living life as a mixed person sliced straight through me and felt like looking in a mirror. I don't speak Chinese at the fluency I wish I did because I rejected it so fully as a teenager. I can't cook most traditional Chinese dishes, and when my grandmother passed I mourned the loss of my ability to ever learn from her how to fold dumplings like she did, “the little rat” dumplings with ridges down the middle that sit up on their own.

Of course the book is devastating, but somehow in many ways it was also deeply and tremendously comforting. Comforting that I could know my mother and my ancestors despite the barriers and pain that came before. Comforting to feel proud of Michelle as she learned Korean dishes from YouTube, which I always privately thought would be cheating if I did it myself. Comforting to see the love of her family, in all it's forms, and the joy and release of ritual and memory.

I loved this book. I've lived my life feeling half and half, and this book made me feel whole.

My father died of cancer 2014. This book reminded me of too many things I'd rather had forgotten for always. It was cruel. None of the descriptions prepared me for that. So - I'm going to warn you. Graphic description of the effects of cancer, cancer treatments, last days of a beloved one dying, all the pain that you can witness, but not do a thing to alleviate.

But, it was good. Honest, deep, touching. Real. And gave me yet another insight to the Korean culture. BTW, watch Maangchi on YouTube. She is wonderful. Lovely :-)

So good!

so beautiful & heartbreaking

3.5/5

One point I was asking is if this book was about the author or her mother?

i don't normally rate memoirs because i personally believe you can't put a star rating on someone's life, but this 5 stars is for how beautifully written this book is. it made me so emotional & hit me in all the right places. how truly amazing.

i put this off for a long time even though i love japanese breakfast bc i was worried abt reading through someone elses parent related grief when mine still felt so raw... and yeah that really hit. i sobbed.

This memoir very much reads as the author trying to work through and process their own feelings about everything that's transpired and what it means for them to be Korean at this stage in their life. Because of that is has a raw authenticity to it that given the reviews obviously resonates with a large number of people.

The book doesn't work for me though based on my own feelings towards how I was raised. It's very hard for me to see lines like “there was no one in the world that was ever as critical or could make me feel as hideous as my mother, but there was no one not even Peter, who ever made me feel as beautiful” and chalk that up as being overly devoted or “small criticisms”.   That to me crosses the line of devotion and if criticism tears you down to that degree, then is it actually small? This and many other examples just spoke to me in an incredibly negative way that was always in the back of my mind, through all the heartwarming moments and the bittersweet. 

4:

In my heart I'm almost certain this could have been a 5 star book, but I can't give it that in good conscience, because there's something deeply unsettling buried in Michelle's memoir, and it rattled me in the worst of ways.

Michelle bared herself in this book. It's raw and authentic, almost seems like too personal a story to be shared. Her grief and hurt run deeply, and they're so palpable, it's almost like they're an entity of their own; and it's made clear that her mother was intrinsically woven into every single facet of her being, so it comes as a shock to absolutely no one that Michelle was ripped to pieces and lost her sense of identity after her death. And that's exactly my issue.

Look, I know as much as every daughter in the history of ever, that the relationship a girl has with her mother is always its own shade of complicated, and everyone processes things differently and whatnot. But I was uncomfortable at so many points in the story. It is one thing to showcase the abuse you've endured, as there are countless valid reasons to do this, and I fully support it. It is another thing entirely to make it seem as if everything that was done to you was fine, forgiven, and forgotten in the end because: 1. Your abuser got cancer and died, 2. You were a “terrible child” and a “troublesome daughter to raise”, 3. That's how immigrant parents are and they got worse done to them from their parents and, 4. They only ever did those things because they are your mother!!! They LOVED you and had your best interests at heart!!!

Fuck outta here. There were some straight up disturbing snippets in the book. She literally said that now it was her turn to be her mother (???). She got MARRIED just because her mother was dying, and the whole ‘I'm only beautiful if my mom thinks I am and without her I am nothing' deal? Shivers.

That being said... well, I did like the book haha. I genuinely felt seen in many of the things Michelle said, as I mentioned, I think every mother/daughter relationship is always complex. I love my mom, but at times she can be my harshest critic, it's true. And yet there's the moments when it really does feel like your mom is the one who'll love you the most. Complicated shit.

I enjoyed her style, and the fact that it was so engaging; I was having a mild reading slump and it took me right out. Her incorporation of food and cooking and culture as healing mechanisms is enthralling, and it may sound weird but my favorite parts in the story were her descriptions of what and why she was cooking, it was delightful.

This was excellent. 4 stars instead of 5 Because I wouldn't recommend it to everyone. This book amazed me so much Because of the way it explored a complex relationship with a mother. I loved it so much and it was so beautiful to watch it unfold. It was such an honest depiction of interpersonal dynamics, and also true to life with the death of a loved one to cancer. If you have had a loved one die of cancer recently, this may be very triggering.

Beyond that, the descriptions of food were to die for. I wanted to eat everything. The audio book was outstanding.

I have not heard anything of Japanese Breakfast before, so I enjoyed being surprised by her unconventional path and her rise to fame. I also thought the way that was a background story was really well done. The focus was on her mom and how her mom tied her to other family and culture. It made the role of her mom loom so large. So this felt like it was so much more than a story about her and her mom.

I mean everyone's already read it but now but connecting to your parents' culture through food is my shit. Not fair that j brekkie can be that talented a musician and this talented a writer