The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

Nouvelle résurrection de la pop-psycho, je me suis enfin attaqué à ces 5 langages de l'amour.

Si le propos de base pouvait être intéressant (et tiendrait honnêtement en 3 pages), ce livre m'a laissé une impression d'être plongé dans un manuel du couple datant d'il y a bien 60 ans (ou bien c'est la conception hétérosexuelle du couple?) quand pour exprimer pourquoi il aime sa femme un des maris cités répond : "Je me suis toujours senti aimé d'elle, Dr Chapman. Elle est la meilleure ménagère qui soit. C'est une excellente cuisinière. Elle prend grand soin de mes vêtements ; ils sont toujours propres et bien repassés. Elle s'occupe admirablement des enfants. Je sais qu'elle m'aime."

Tout le livre est du même acabit. Là où les femmes citées semblent parler de sentiments et d'amour, tous les hommes cités n'évoquent leurs femmes qu'à travers les tâches ménagères accomplies.

Donc contentez vous de la page Wikipédia pour apprendre les langes de l'amour, ce sera du temps gagné: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages

I'll bluntly start by saying how much I detest the majority of all self help books. This one one by no means falls into that category. Dr. Chapman delivers effective and sound advice on how to love others through using what he calls that 5 love languages. These love language are discussed in detail and he provides the best ways to properly fill the “love tank” of a person's love language. The practical application provided in the book really allows for one to do some soul searching and helps to really put long lasting changes into place rather than promising the sort of instant change that other books promote. Dr. Chapman by no means says that this book is the end all be all to issues one may be having with being loved and loving others, but he does instead offer steps one may take to address these issues.

What I like most about this book is that Dr. Chapman shoots straight from the hip. Even while reading it I noticed things that I didn't like, but I knew applied to me. When helping someone it is of course important to be mindful of their feelings, but not so much so that they are only told what they want to hear. That more than anything is what drove me to pick this up and read it in the first place. Personally for me it confirmed some things I already knew about myself and helped me to see others who I interact with regularly in a different light. If you choose to pick this book up, it will definitely require effort on your part to make a change and see a difference. For me it w has been and continues to be worth it. 

One thing I will point out is the last quarter of the book does get quite repetitive. I'm sure the intent was to drive the point home for those who may struggle with emotional interact, but for me it was slightly annoying. Another thing to note is that the book is written in respect to marriages, but the knowledge contained can easily be applied to any relationship. Other than that I really enjoyed this book and suggest it to anyone who wants to enhance the way they love others.  

This book is definitely for anyone who is single, dating, married, or looking to enhance the way they express their love to others. It is without a doubt worth the time it takes to read the book. A link to the author's bio and to the book are both provided above. Thank you Dr. Chapman for the wealth of information provided here. I look forward to reading your other work. 

I rated this book a 4/5.

“When it comes to The 5 Love Languages not only does Gary Chapman explain each love language using detailed anecdotes of couples he had encountered throughout his time being a relationship counselor but he also ends each section with a list of examples of using each love language. This was a really great jumping off point for me since I could try out some ideas and see how my Love reacted before getting creative and making up some ideas of my own.”

Read entire review here: http://www.sugarysweetnothings.com/?p=516

Before you read the rest of my review, just know I am a marriage and family therapy graduate student who is currently seeing clients and often works with couples. I am also unmarried but currently dating. Okay, biases addressed.

This book was a quick and easy read that someone could probably get through in one sitting or as I did, read through a couple chapters at a time. Chapman describes each language in detail with case examples of couples he has worked with and some of his own personal anecdotes sprinkle in. The language is straightforward and clear with good questions for reflection and discussion with your spouse at the end of the chapters too. All good things.

This book was definitely not written for therapists and is not research-oriented, which was a nice break from other literature I have read recently. All the same, it's hard to turn the therapist part of me off to not see this book as overly simplistic when it comes to applying to the many couples I have seen. Chapman does cite using this assessment to reach couples who are in dire straits in their marriages, but I wonder how many therapy sessions and other work went into reviving those relationships.

Nonetheless, I see value in trying to better understand how people feel and experience love. The idea of wanting to love someone well resonates with me in a way that makes this book one I will hold onto for my own personal reference and to recommend to clients.