Spanking Dee-Dee

DNF @ 9%

BR with Tinka and Lo-Lo. I don't think any of us made it through this one.

My status update will serve as my review:

This book is unreadable. Nearly every sentence begins with a present participle phrase (-ing word), doesn't have commas, and is grammatically incorrect because the actions aren't happening simultaneously even though that's what's implied by the sentence structure. This is beyond annoying.

For example:

Hurrying to the bathroom I lugged a couple of bath towels out of the airing cupboard. Taking them back to the living room I thrust one at him. “Here, dry off a bit.” “Thanks.” Taking the towel he mopped his face and then rubbed it vigorously over his hair followed by his arms and legs.

I'm not exaggerating in saying that almost every sentence is structured this way. This is only part of the problem with the writing, but it's by far the most irritating.

I'll add that another issue with the writing was the inclusion of too many details, like the entire history of his apartment building and the process Simon went through to live there. Also, unless I read it wrong, which is entirely possible considering how bored I was by the details, the building used to be a bakery but was converted into luxury apartments. Why, then, was it constantly referred to as the bakery?? If it's no longer being used as a bakery, the equipment isn't even there anymore, and the building now serves an entirely different purpose, then it's not a fucking bakery.

Maybe this is a wonderful love story with a great slow burn, but I will never know because I cannot tolerate reading a book that's 90% grammatically incorrect. I gave it several chances and finally concluded that I will never be able to finish it.