Paris Daillencourt Is About to Crumble

my first alexis hall dnf. sorry guys but paris was already kinda working my nerves and then there was the disaster date where he started falling onto like every white gays assumptions about muslim gays and it was in fact too intolerable to go on

I want to start off by saying I expected to really like this book. I wanted to like it. And if the actual book had gone along with the synopsis, I think I would have. I'm not sure who dropped the ball there. But this book is not a romcom; it's not really even a romance. 

That being said, I did DNF it around 70%. I read most of the first half in one sitting. MC Paris was funny and quirky and relatable, albeit a little whiney, occasionally exasperating, and there were occasions when I rolled my eyes or wanted to shake him. Then the exasperating Paris slowly overtook the funny/quirky Paris, and my main thought went from, “Jeez, honey, you might need therapy,” to “Paris! Just stop. Go find a therapist.” By 60%, I was fighting to continue reading, and my overwhelming emotion towards this book was exhaustion with low-key anxiety. (I admit, I do suffer from anxiety myself, though nowhere near as bad as Paris, which is part of the reason I found him relatable to begin with.) The constant catastrophizing and negative thought cycles just wore me down.    

I wanted to see where this book was going, how it would work out between Paris and Tariq, and if there was a resolution with Paris' parents. But it was becoming too much of a slog, and I could literally feel myself falling into a reading slump. So, I'm calling it quits. 

As someone with GAD Paris' inner monologue was very realistic but it was also exhausting and at times difficult to get through. I read romance partly because I want to escape my brain's endless catastrophizing and reading this book did not feel like an escape at all. This wasn't the frothy rom-com the cover promised and maybe if I'd known better what to expect I might have had a more enjoyable experience.

Alexis Hall's writing in isolation is absolutely charming and banterrific, and i can thoroughly relate to Paris on the anxiety front—when it gets bad, the catastrophizing and overthinking and general sense of panic lining every action, thought, vocalized word is amped right up to the line that marks the frying of your own internal wiring. and yet, my empathy can only go so far when he's not the most likable lad in general. i was particularly peeved by how dismissive of Tariq's beliefs he came across, as well as his whole worry about being antisemitic, which was wholly unnecessary.

the romcom feels i was vibing with from the cover was another act of cue dramatics ultimate deception faints

if the romance aspect had to be put on the back burner for more emphasis on the mental health rep, that's totally fine with me, but at least sell me on the couple so i can believe they're a forever pairing and not one that may last another week if they're lucky

Usually when I start a new Alexis Hall novel, I devour it as quickly as possible, making poor life decisions like staying up too late at night or reading during work hours. But for the first time with an AH book, I found myself reluctant and almost afraid to read each chapter. The reason for this surprising (and disappointing) reaction is obvious from the first page: Paris Daillencourt is a complete and utter mess. And not in a “cute” way (see Luc in [b:Boyfriend Material 50225678 Boyfriend Material (London Calling, #1) Alexis Hall https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1575987260l/50225678.SX50.jpg 73590298] or Ardy in [b:How to Bang a Billionaire 31423483 How to Bang a Billionaire (Arden St. Ives, #1) Alexis Hall https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1488428154l/31423483.SY75.jpg 52115149]). Paris is plagued by toxic self-doubt and anxiety. He can barely bring himself to speak to Tariq, the cute, gay fellow contestant on Bake Expectation, and when he does it's 90% apologies for existing. Somehow Tariq finds Paris appealing enough to start dating him, but their third act breakup is foreshadowed in every interaction and every thought in Paris' head. This is just a sample from Paris' train trip to visit Tariq: Mostly it was the legroom that bothered him. He'd inherited height from both sides of his family, and public transport almost always required him to bend his legs in ways that were a recipe for cramps and - eventually, probably - deep vein thrombosis.But it was too late now. Or maybe it wasn't? Maybe he could just make his way up to first class anyway, and then ask for an upgrade when the conductor came round? But if that didn't work he could be fined and while he probably could afford a fine he might also have to go to court and then he'd have a criminal record.He made his way up the aisle, trying not to go too fast or too slow, or to hit anyone with his overnight bag, looking for the least objectionable space, and panicking in case the real least objectionable space turned out to be the one he'd just walked past and now couldn't go back to. Did that make you crazy? Multiply that little excerpt enough times to fill 80% of the book and see how you feel. Of course the relationship with the charming Tariq is doomed; Paris can't get out of his head long enough to really care about anyone else. This sequel to [b:Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake 55533831 Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake (Winner Bakes All, #1) Alexis Hall https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1610495934l/55533831.SY75.jpg 86199564] is entertaining when it's not focused on Paris. It features an assortment of interesting secondary characters who are vying for the top spot on the show, and it has its humorous moments, most of which involve the cheerfully profane producer Jennifer Hallet. Rosaline is referred to but not seen, although an unforgettable secondary character from her season does make a cameo appearance. I liked the fact that, unlike last time, we get to see the recording AND the broadcasting of the show, which allows for Hall to include plenty of opinionated Tweets (are there any other kind?) as the contestants are eliminated week by week. The book becomes more engaging and less horrifying after the breakup, when Paris finally admits he has a problem and takes steps to be a better, healthier person. I liked this version of Paris, and I could finally understand what Tariq saw in him. But it was a long slog to get to that point, and it didn't make up for the excruciating majority of the book. YMMV if you have never experienced anxiety and can live inside Paris' brain with more detachment than I could manage. ARC gratefully received from Net Galley in exchange for objective review.