In the Dream House
Ratings261
Average rating4.5
How do I put this. This book made me pace a lot.
God. It's Machado's memoir of being in an abusive queer relationship. Each chapter is stylized or themed after a named topic; it worked for me because it was great framing for the (usually upsetting) content.
A later cluster of chapters lives rent-free in my head still. The Choose Your Own Adventure section? Oh my God. What a great use of form. It really hammered home how 1. bleak the relationship was by then 2. how repetitive the abuse was 3. how inescapable the abuse was (all of the page choices making you go back to the start of the day or a time of the day!!) 4. the extra meta chastisement from Machado if you just read the pages through straight, goddamn (“not following the CYOA rules doesn't mean you can escape that this happened”).
I don't like memoirs. I remember reading one in middle school, and what little memory I have of it, it was–lack of a better word–boring. My friend and I used to joke about how you'd have to deem yourself so important to write a book about yourself (the only exception being war heroes or nurses). In my eyes, everyone was living the same normal life, so why write about your dull life?
When I first heard about this book, I was wary because everyone knows books without dragons are tedious to read. But I–like Machado–am a sucker for haunted houses. So I downloaded it onto my kindle and spent the most of two days reading it, being totally immersed into the life of a writer trapped in an abusive relationship with her girlfriend.
I found myself relating to her story: the feeling of being trapped and somehow forgetting the world is out there. Even though the author's experiences are her own, I found that the feeling is the same, no matter if it's an abusive girlfriend or homophobic parents.
Each chapter treated like a piece of micro-fiction helped expand the world of the dream house, especially when a new style or structure was used (my personal favorite is the chapter Dream House as Choose Your Own Adventure).
I rated it a four star, but I have to bump it up to a five. I'll look forward to re-reading this book.
Thx for reading ❤
one of the best books I’ve ever read. absolutely loved the narrative, the way it was written just flows in such a beautiful way.
I am giving this book three stars not because I find fault in it in any way, but I don't think this book was for me at time I had read it. It's a beautifully crafted story that contains an important message about the Archive and the ways in which we obscure voices and stories that don't fit into the confines of this bizarre narrative we have crafted throughout history. I wish I had more to give to this book because it deserves that, but as it stands, I can only say that I enjoyed my time reading it and think others should give it a shot as well
book club book that i'm gonna chase with a different book club book where the book club meeting on the book has already happened but i haven't yet returned the book to the library
anyway: artistically and format-wise, this was brilliant. took me back to my very queer memoir class back in senior year of college; similar names arising from past academia, use of erotica, cycling through genres. if it's still being taught, i wonder if this title is now on the syllabus.
3.5/5
If this was ONLY the main story itself, I probably would've given it 5 stars, but I wasn't a huge fan of all of the references to other stories. etc. I usually didn't understand how it related to the main plot (maybe i'm dumb but ??) and got just really out of it. I really loved her writing though and the main story she was trying to tell of abuse and sadness, it was really beautiful and heartbreaking.
It feels strange to leave a review. I debated not leaving any stars but I also feel like it DESERVES 5 stars...
Memoirs and LGBTQ issues is not my usual topic pick but I had watched a review of this and it sparked my interest, plus it's a quick read.
Abuse is complex and confusing and “In the Dream House” is a perfect portrait of the weird dreamlike-yet-nightmarish state many survivors often describe the relationship as. The combination of flowery prose and clear cases of abuse make for a weird, poetic and unsettling read. If you are looking for a linear plot or a clear narrative of abuse, this isn't it. But if you want a glimpse of what trauma does to our memories and our hearts, Machado knocks it out of the park.
This book reminds me of the quote “And in that moment, the moment of the crash, it made me realize that monsters don't hide in the woods; they aren't shadows in the trees or invisible things lurking in darkened corners. No, the real monsters move in plain sight.”
― Stacy Willingham, A Flicker in the Dark
I listened to the audiobook version of this and it was so good. I highly recommend it but check the trigger warnings first because it can get pretty heavy
I am not really a Memoir person. Maybe because I find reading about somebody else's life rather daunting; are they being truthful either in a negative way to make themselves look better or purposefully holding back information that may harm? And I usually only see memoirs from celebrities that I truly do not care about.* However,this was a whole experience in a roughly 2200-pagebook about emotional abuse in a same gender relationship. And it was harrowing, and heartbreaking, and sometimes a little funny ,ut dread seeped it's way in though some of the early chapters. And it is told in such a unique way.
Many of the chapters are told in second person, with us as the reader directly in the authors shoes, one time we were an squid. Each chapter is told, for a lack of a better way to phrase it, in a different lense or writing style or topic all starting Dream House as. One chapter is Dream House as Famous Last Words, the ex girlfriend asking for a physical relationship but wanting nothing more and is a scentence of dialouge, another is Dream House as Queer Villany going over the authors thoughts, as well as providing context through film, of queer coded villains, as well as the history of the term “gaslighting.” Another chapter handles the limited history that is currently available of court cases regarding queer women in abusive relationships.
Dream House as a Choose Your Own Adventure made me feel like I was drowning and hated every second of it.
Dream House as Unexpected Kindess made me cry.
Dream House felt very personal to me, but for different reasons I won't go into here. But having her voice the thoughts that sometimes to show people that hey it was real I have photos to prove it! But you can't do that with the emotional damage that she received is just crushing.
I would reccomend this to everyone to read, but please look Into any TW for this book before doing so.
This book talks about the author's true life experiences while in an abusive relationship. It also talks about the stigmas around abuse in same sex (specifically lesbian) relationships. Abuse can exist between any two people and it's not limited to physical harm. I liked and disliked that if felt like I was reading a monologue as some parts felt like a run on sentence that needed more pause whereas other passages would have made for an excellent spoken word poem. I loved the usage of the Dream House and how it started each experience with some reference to popular culture, fantasy, or niche genre. Remembering instances of trauma with the understanding that it was trauma really forces you come to terms with your perceived reality at the time and what you were willing to accept from someone you love
Didn't enjoy reading this at all but damn if it isn't super weird and experimental and uncomfortable and sad. Not upset I read it, but I ‘m also glad it's over.
Machado writes stunningly. No other word does her talent justice. “In the Dream House,” uses incredibly interesting literary devices and the conceptualization of the dream/house is brilliant. I would wholeheartedly recommend this book, just beware it's written in the second person.
Incredible. Carmen writes with such elegant, haunting complexity that both shocked and touched me. A deeply important and necessary text.
Carmen pulls apart different elements from her experience as a victim within an abusive queer relationship, examining them from different angles trying to process, understand, and heal. She shares her experience in contribution to a collective history of abuse, placing it in the context of various pieces of film, writing, legal proceedings, folklore, clichés, and many various literary devices. Machado discusses the importance of documenting cases of abuse between people with shared gender identities, revealing that the silencing of such experiences contributes to the isolation and de-humanisation of queer women. The doubt and disbelief that victims of queer relationship trauma are so often met with, even by themselves, resulting from the scarcity of documentation of such experiences. She disentangles the ways in which seeds for abuse are planted early on, and how victims are slowly drawn in by disguising isolation, manipulation, and degradation as luck, passion, and love.
I loved how it was structured, the fragmentation of her writing. The splintered narrative a perfect representation of her story and her journey in making sense of it, as well as putting it into historical context. I loved that it was written in the second person, whether used as a device to increase reader relatability or an address to her past self.
Anyone close to me in the past week can attest to my love of this brilliant memoir, in that I have not shut up about it or stopped force-reading them excerpts.
5:
I started reading this, fully convinced I'd picked up Fever Dream, by Samanta Schweblin. And it took me a hot minute to realize my mistake, because from the beginning, the writing was so haunting.
A prose that pulled me like a whirlwind, a story that sliced my heart into ribbons. It was heartbreaking but, ultimately, a very hopeful story. An important message to share, and I commend Carmen for her strength of character because it must have not been easy.
Apart from that, I could not put it down because she's an incredible storyteller. I'd give this 10 stars if I could.
The story was good and very impactful. I just am not a fan of her writing style.
This was the most unique memoir I've ever read. Powerful. Heartbreaking.
I'm still speechless.
I'm sure I'm going to think about it a lot in the future.
「 most types of domestic abuse are completely legal 」
this memoir follows the relationship machado had with her abusive girlfriend at the time who tortured her mentally and emotionally. I don't feel like it's “right” to review a memoir tbh, specifically one like this but I will say that I'm grateful that machado felt comfortable to be vulnerable enough to share this tumultuous time in her life with so many people. my rating is really just based on writing and execution
the part that I appreciated the most, next to the beautiful writing and the creative way she structured her memoir, was the research that she put into proving her point being that, specifically in relation to her own situation, lesbian domestic abuse cases aren't taken seriously enough to provide protection for the victim. they're glossed over and considered to just be “two girls/people having a fight” when that's far from the truth. abuse is abuse, regardless of your sexual orientation and gender identity, so I appreciated the amount of historical references and examples that machado used because I learned a lot about how lesbian domestic violence cases have been handled. also how the lack of urgency to stop treating homosexuality and heterosexuality as separate entities when it comes to these situations of abuse. (and look at how most hetero abuse cases are handled...no one seems to care regardless until the person is dead, and even then we don't see a resolve sometimes)
i think that aside from this being beautifully written, it is important to read for your own knowledge to truly understand (even if you are queer) how truly defenseless queer people are in the courts, especially when they're defending themselves against someone in their own community.
this memoir is about domestic violence so if anything in that realm is triggering to you, I suggests you skip this one, but I do 1000% recommend it.
WOW. Flew through this and loved every page. Within the first 20 pages, I knew it would be one of my favorites. It's been a while since I read a book that I felt was truly something special. This memoir was gorgeous and immensely creative. Each chapter brought a new cliche/trope/genre that functioned as a lens through which Machado told her story. It was heart-wrenching and deeply personal. My jaw dropped more times than I could count, astounded at the pure genius of her writing. The discussion of queer abuse and the history of silence regarding it was extremely refreshing and necessary. She incorporated outside sources and stories, situating her experience within the context of queer history. A must-read for everybody. Love, love, love.