Chloe
frankly, i have no idea why this was in my tbr and yes, it does worry me a little that it was. this book was just a big ass instruction manual on how to summon/work with demonic nobles... like, bruh.
my fav demons were sitri & foras. absolutely adored crowley's drawing of foras (his ritual must be the equivalent of the writing on bathroom stalls with a phone number + a request to call for a good time, iykyk).
also, didn't really understand this one but... a lot of the hell princes' powers were teaching ppl Liberal Arts & Sciences? so... to all uni attendees with a similar major... maybe this is the tutor you were looking for?
my retort to wuthering height stans:
I understand the complexities which emily bronte strives to broach and explore throughout this book but, at the end of the day (to me) all it succeeds in accomplishing is reinforcing that people suck.
the techniques employed to structure the story's narration as being told from several people - oft, at times, being recycled across a lineage of individuals - is impressive especially when considered to be in conjunction to the quality of language wielded by bronte to outline her multi-faceted world with intentional detail.
however, while these elements are praiseworthy, I personally did not find the subject matter particularly enriching; terrible people doing terrible things, squandering any hope of redemption, makes for a rather taxing read to me. With life's inherent challenges, I question the appeal of reinforcing negativity through a gothic romance when I could simply watch the news 😭
now, i understand that others may find value in the themes i struggled with &, my critique isn't to discredit their admiration either but, only to explain why, for me, the book's messages left me largely disenchanted.
simply put: good read but it was just not my style. i hope this clarifies that my mediocre reception of the novel isnt a dismissal of its literary merit, but rather a reflection of my own personal taste. excessive praise for a narrative that extensively dwells on human depravity strikes me as overdone.
Johnny the typa dude to go: ‘Just remembered that girls get period pains grimaces in rage Fuck! It's just totally unfair looks out the window in silent, seething anger but coyly looks back after a bit, gently searching for your eyes while hitting you with the Flynn Ryder smolder I drive a Lamborghini btw. also, my dick's 12 inches.'
4.5 stars (I did in fact eat that shit up but mostly bc Joey/Gibsie r my mans and I love me a slow burn. Johnny is a big-ass dick tho & not the good kind.)
this shit was high-key boring & not only that, THEY EDGED ME THE ENTIRE 459 PAGES BC THESE BITCHES DID NOT TOUCH TIPS ONCE.
NO BONING. NO CREAMING THE TWINKIE. NO SQUAT THRUSTS IN THE CUCUMBER PATCH. NO BIRDS OR BEES. NO FILLING OUT THE FMC LIKE AN APPLICATION. NOTHING. AT ALL! ACROSS ALL 459 PAGES!! Just so, so much edging.
But he did tie her up once and call her a ‘good girl'?? like what-
I am so heavily blue balled by this book that my brain has lost a significant amount of its function due to the extended redirection of blood within my body without any period of release. this book gave me erectile dysfunction.
“His eyes glittered in happiness. “Let me tell you about the time I met the King of the Vampires...””
I just want to take a moment to congratulate myself before I go mental here. Thank you, me, for being a freaking god of brain usage.
I FUCKING KNEWWWWWWW ITTTTT. I FUCKING KNEWWW ITTTT. There was that one line in that one Harrow Faire book where the characters were describing some sussy powerful being (a man) walking through the Faire & I had (in the moment) just been like... ‘that... that's Dracula' after also having read Kingsley's other book on zaddy Drac. AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT, AS VERIFIED BY THE QUOTE ABOVE. AND THIS JUST CONFIRMS THE FRICKING KATHRYNN ANN KINGSLEY CINEMATIC (bookematic??) UNIVERSE (KAKC(b?)U).
To be completely candid, I am having trouble writing this review as the complete girth and weight of my juicy ass brain is putting me off balance & making me slightly woozy. But I guess I just can't help it?? IM FREAKING TOO BIG BRAINED FOR THIS SIMPLE LIFE.
I KNEW THERE WAS A KAKC(b?)U AT PLAY HERE AND I WAS RIGHT. I don't know if she confirmed this before (she probably like 100% did) but even if she has, I wouldn't need to see the post because I KNEW ALL ALONG WITH MY SUPERIOR INVESTIGATIVE BATMAN POWERS.
i don't know if it shows, but I am so proud of my deductive abilities. NO ONE will ever understand the chills that full body slammed me when I read that line because, as previously stated, I KNEW IT. she never even mentioned that one obscure line about the powerful dude walking through the circus that one time, BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT WITH THAT KING OF VAMPIRES SHIT.
yes. yes grl. i love Kathryn Ann Kingsley. If she has zero fans, I am dead.
tell me why the love this little prince had for his rose fulfilled me more than any of the smutty books I have read this year ever could...
this is such a cute, short & imaginative read + I just really like the ideas proposed in this book with his cute lil planet and his cute lil friends and his cute lil rose and his cute lil laughing stars thing. so cute. the narrator's cute lil drawings were nice too.
faith in humanity: restored.
i want more
this shit was straight ass man.
the characters were weird as fuck - very much the vibe of when Edward watches Bella sleep/the forest ‘i know what you are' scene except that was their every interaction. this mans would just stare at the girl from a dark corner of the room and her inner monologue would be all ‘i know he's watching me... my kuchi is throbbing in morse code, translating his every movement to my nervous system.' likeee, EVERY SCENE BRO?!? what happened to HELLO? HOW ARE YOU? they could just not be normal. THIS HAPPENED LIKE 6 TIMES.
and the amount of unnecessary enemies-to-lovering was driving me INSANEEE. and the reason?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! SPOILER ALERT: this man's aversion to the FL was basically spawned from the fact that she didn't die in a kidnapping when she was a toddler but his sister did & then he made the executive decision to kill someone bc of a matter regarding this issue. LIKE??? WHAT WAS SHE SUPPOSED TO DO, BITCH? DIE?? GO BACK AND ASK HER KIDNAPPERS FROM 20 YEARS AGO TO ‘FINISH THE JOB'???? let's be so fr rn. AND ITS THE WAY THIS BITCH GOES TO APOLOGISEEEE??? FOR WHAT??? BREATHING?!?!?!?!?
thick as a mf brick bro. omfg.
and they were so edgy for no reason. I did not picture the ML as some hot brooding motorcyclist mafia man. no. i pictured him as fuckn tatted-up marilyn mansion bc this bitch was saurrr fookin emo & I just know he dyes his hair black and does a sick frickin side part in the mirror every night before he goes to bed listening to paramore. he literally said ‘you assume I have a heart'. whats more emo than that?
and the fml was so stupid man. THE CONFLICT OF THIS BOOK - AND I ASSUME THE NEXT BOOK BC IT WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO RESOLVED (WE'RE STILL ESSENTIALLY AS CLOSE TO SOLVING THE COMPLICATION AS WHEN THE PROBLEM FIRST AROSE) IS ALL BECAUSE HER DUMBASS COULDN'T RESIST AN ELEMENTARY DARE. yeah. her rando ass ex bf (which she'd had for a couple of weeks) simply dared her to make a MASSIVE, MILITARY-ASS VIRUS (just to see if she could??) to which she obliged and had the audacity to be surprised when this mans took off with the virus, selling it to the highest bidder or whateva.
like, it's simply amazing how this girl was written with the IQ of einstein but lacked the braincell capacity to use that brain she was gifted with.
this book astounded me. baffled me, even. much buffoonery was afoot here.
