Work, Parent, Thrive

This was an interesting read. I was surprised to see that it was published by Shambhala Publications - aka the Buddhist people - and I was annoyed when the author began by saying we could put the structural problems of parenting-while-capitalist aside (e.g. no government subsidies for childcare, no government mandated parental leave, oh my blood is boiling again), and focus on changing our mindset. My initial reaction was, “lady, whut”. But she did make some very good points - and I can see how indeed very Buddhist these points were. Namely: Life is suffering (First Noble Truth) - aka, there are seasons of life and experiences that are just difficult. Deal with it!

Indeed, the main thesis of the book is that, if we stop RESISTING the difficulties in our chaotic, parenting-small-children-while-trying-to-work, upside-down-house lives, we will save ourselves a lot of extra pain. And that is certainly true and sensible. Emily Oster - who recommended this book on her substack - often talks about “there is no option C”. Sometimes we are just faced with two unpleasant choices, and waffling between them will not make a better, third option appear. It's another way of saying: acknowledge your constraints. It is physically not possible to work 80 hour weeks and parent small children - accept that! I found that helpful. It's always a good reminder. You are going to drop balls. Oh well!

There were some worksheets and self-helpy activities, but I listened to this on audiobook, so can't really evaluate them.