Why Do You Do That: 101 Cat Poems

Somehow, despite the capitalization issue and homonym error in the product description, I expected more from this book than the typo-ridden mess that I received. Shame on me, I suppose, because “Some are humerus. Some cute Others serious.” really should have clued me in that I wasn't exactly signing up for the pinnacle of perfection in the form of cat poetry.

This book is... Well, I'm trying to think of a polite way to put it, but I'm drawing a blank. I don't want to say it's garbage, because that would be far too cruel; there are some genuinely amusing, relatable, and entertaining poems in this collection and for the most part the problem is a lack of editing or proofreading. I don't want to say it's good, either, because in the state presented it really isn't worth the price tag. So, what's a term for that? Sadly, I don't know. I'll just say: it desperately needs editing, a bit of rewriting, and the removal of a couple unpleasant elements in order to be a decent collection of feline-inspired poetry.

A vast majority of these poems appear to reference the same cat, sometimes one other, even long after two cat deaths - one a gruesome traffic accident and one from illness - are depicted without warning. Most of the poems also reference claws, yet one poem claims he de-clawed his cat and is worried about her getting outside where she can't defend herself. Which one is it? And if only one was intentionally robbed of her claws, why not the others as well?

Overall, I didn't particularly like these. The rhyme schemes were odd at times; the format was all over the place with no consistent capitalization or punctuation choices even within each individual poem; and while some were amusing or entertaining most were a bit boring or odd. In fact, there's one which talks about wanting alone time to do the thing people shouldn't be seen doing (I think we all know what that is) but being blocked by the cat. A couple others make uncomfortable allusions to human relationships when talking about cats - like asking if he's her sugar daddy or even referring to her as his lover.

And while I'm no language prude and drop enough “f-bombs” daily to qualify as an honorary sailor, the use in these poems just feels out of place and confusing. In one instance, several “f-bombs” are dropped in one line, where he's complaining about his cat vomiting on a piece of furniture. Is he worried about her health? Nope. He's angry at her for being sick because it's such an inconvenience to him. Yet in the end, he decides to just let the puke dry on the furniture because he can't be bothered to exert a tiny amount of effort to clean it up. Disgusting!

Also, to emphasize how little effort seems to have been put into making and/or proofreading these poems: there's one which lists a variety of cat breeds to a rhyming pattern. Within it, three of the breeds are misspelled and a majority are inconsistently capitalized. There's also one poem which states, “5 cats 10 paws 10 claws oye!” But... what even does that mean? Five cats have four paws each, so there'd be twenty paws. Cats also usually have eighteen claws each, so five cats would have a total of ninety claws. Even if it were a reference to only clawing things with the front paws, there'd still be more than one claw on each paw and therefore “10 claws” would be wrong. It's things like these which cement my suspicion that this was a rushed attempt at eking out 101 poems into a book and not a thoughtful endeavour. After all, some of the grammar and spelling errors in this book would have certainly been underlined in Word or any other modern word processor as needing review.

Here's a list of just what I managed to catch while reading:
misuse of who's/whose: 1
misuse of you're/your: 2
using ‘sweat' when meaning ‘sweet': 2
misuse of its/it's: 5
using ‘site' when meaning ‘sight': 3
using ‘message' when meaning ‘massage': 2
misspelling ‘headbutt' as ‘head but': 2
clunky or confusing grammar: 11
other general typos: 22

Comparatively, there were only 8 moments I found to be good, funny, relatable, or overall entertaining enough to actually count as a positive toward this book. On the flip side, there were 9 moments which contained unpleasant, questionable, or disconcerting content.

Two of those were the previously mentioned cat deaths. I can understand wanting to vent about the death of a beloved pet through creative means, but the fact that these were both interspersed between other poems which spoke of the cats as still being alive and healthy just makes it feel gratuitous. Plus, the summary promises that all poems are entertaining and there's certainly nothing entertaining about the death of a pet.

Four were instances which either outright conflated a cat with a romantic partner or expressed emotions inappropriate for pets and better suited for lovers. One of those directly calls the cat his “hairy lover” and another titled “Cat or Mistress” posits the question of whether she swallows after she licks body parts. I already mentioned the one where he poses the question of whether he's just a “sugar daddy” to his cat, but that and the one which expresses a level of jealousy normally reserved for possessive romantic partners are mild in comparison.

The remaining three are a mixed bag. One just makes me concerned for the cat, because the bed is described as a makeshift litter box whenever the cats are in a bad mood but... well, that's really abnormal for a cat. They're clean creatures, and I worry for the health of a cat who uses the bed as a toilet. Another drops an “f-bomb” in the context of “maybe it's the fucking cat” while describing horrible allergic symptoms. Why blame the cat you willingly brought into your home, cuddle constantly, etc.? It's not the cat's fault you have allergies and if you hate it enough to refer to it that way, please find it a better home. (Most of the poems refer to loving the cat, though, so it's just weirdly out of place.) And finally, one expresses a level of anger at the poor cat vomiting which is honestly deeply disconcerting. An eight-word sentence contains three “f-bombs” (“What the fuck is fucking fuck her problem!” - Who even speaks like that?!) just for the sake of blaming the sick cat for puking and having a self-pity party of the literal “why me” variety. No concern is expressed for the cat potentially being ill and ultimately he just leaves the vomit to dry on his furniture anyway so it must not be that big of a problem.

So, yeah, overall the negative far outweights the positive. It's a shame, because I really wanted to enjoy a lighthearted book of poems about cats. Instead, I got a minefield of typos and some unpleasant comparisons between cats and lovers. No, thanks. However, because of the few good moments, I'm going to be generous and give this book two stars instead of the one I originally considered.