We Still Live

If you've been alive in America for the past 20 years the scenario of this story is an unhappy reality. A grim one. Still [a:Sara Dobie Bauer 7226363 Sara Dobie Bauer https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1594654164p2/7226363.jpg] has managed to create a little pocket of hope. Make no mistake, she hasn't trotted out some fantastical cure-all for what ails us as a society, or even for the woes of the MCs, but she has written a story that, to me at least, felt vital and important. Is it perfect? No, not by a long stretch, and yet those loose ends, that true-to-life floundering, is what lends this book a real life flavor, with all of its jagged edges, unhappy truths, and uncertainties. Isaac Twain has come to Hambden University in Lothos, Ohio trying to outrun his past. Foolish man. He crashes, head first, into his future. Said future is John Conlon, a fellow creative writing professor at Hambden, a wildly popular author of YA LGBTQ books, and as of the tragic event of the previous summer, much to his displeasure, he's known as The Hambden Hero. John is unabashedly gay, almost faery like in build, with a mass of longish dark hair, soulful eyes, and a gregariousness that belies how broken he feels inside after the incident. He's not the kind of man Isaac ever saw himself attracted to. Isaac is tall, blond, almost hypermasculine, and still negotiating how to comfortably navigate being out. He has valid reasons. None of these differences, nor the school injunction against staff fraternization matter when it comes to their attraction, one that almost verges on the obsessive for Isaac, or maybe it's just the first time he's been able to love someone as his authentic self. The romance between John and Isaac worked like gangbusters for me. Isaac might have been perplexed at first but it made absolute sense. Their parts fit together in more ways than the physical. John's house is full of music, friends, and good food, all things that are almost alien to Isaac's existence. I loved how the gravitational pull between the MCs was undeniable but the author never lost sight of who they were: smart academics. I loved that as their love story progresses throughout the book regular life doesn't just disappear. The events of the summer, and it's repercussions on all who lived through it remain ever present in their everyday existence. Likewise Isaac's past is present as the past always is, and comes calling.I'll say no more about the plot, but I'll mention some of the things I loved: John's students, his friends, and colleagues; the frank, unflinching, and non-judgemental handling of mental illness; the necessary witnessing of a horror that visits our schools and public spaces with an alarming regularity; the joy, life affirming, aspect of good sex without making it a magic bullet to solve all problems. There were things I'd've tweaked, all having to do with Isaac, who's perhaps the weakest character. Some of his past could've remained off-stage, and other parts I would've appreciated seeing and knowing more about. Maybe an accompanying novella? All of these quibbles are negligible. I'd recommend this to everyone. It feels urgent.

Very impressed by this new-to-me author. This was not an easy book to read, but it was real and true. Bauer shows the lingering effects of a traumatic, violent event on a group of people with the focus on the alleged “hero” who stopped the shooter. But given that challenging backdrop, she portrays a moving romance between new teacher Isaac and “hero” John, as well as a great friendship between John and fellow teacher Tommy. The way the men interacted felt more genuine to me than a lot of M/M romance novels; it was affectionate but down to earth and full of humor too. Some of my favorite parts of the novel were scenes portraying Tommy and John trash talking each other about their respective college football teams with Isaac looking on in fond confusion.

There were a few things that didn't work for me. Isaac had a lot of his own baggage that didn't quite get the attention it deserved. And some of the Isaac melodrama seemed like it belonged in a different novel than one that took such a gritty view of how individuals and communities heal from what has become all-too-common sudden violence.

But those quibbles didn't detract much from my admiration for the author and engagement with the story, especially given her courage to give the book a realistic (still happy in that the MCs are together) ending in which love can ease but not erase the pain.

Brava Sara Dobie Bauer. I'll be checking out your backlist for sure.

ARC from Net Galley provided in exchange for honest review.