We Should Not Be Friends: The Story of a Friendship

I think my definition of friendship and Schwalbe's definition are quite different.

Unexpectedly lovely. A portrait and memoir of a friendship over 40+ years.

Someone somewhere called it a deep look into male friendship. Ah yes, male friendship, that thorny beast. Don't men struggle to make and keep friends? That's what Richard Reeves and Bowling Alone and that Kurzgesagt video make me believe. Isn't there a loneliness epidemic?

Anyway. I didn't really see this book in such a gendered, macro way. I saw it in a very intimate, micro way - a celebration of, indeed, our ape-y need to have close friends. A shoulder to cry on!

The author, Will Schwalbe, describes himself as a nerdy, bookish, unathletic, gay man who “should not” be friends with, the friend-love of his life, Chris Maxey, described as a big, strapping jock with a heart o' gold. This book is really a loving paean to “Maxey” - as he is called by loved ones. Schwalbe often comes across as peevish and rigid, I even started getting annoyed with him. Until I remembered he was the author. But he really sings the praises of Maxey, and what his friendship with Maxey has brought into his life. It's touching. Deeply sweet. I found myself with tears in my eyes at the end - and recommitted to keeping the flames of my friendships alive and burning sweetly! MAYBE EVEN I SHALL CALL YOU PEOPLE, AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE.

Incidentally, Maxey founded a school in the Bahamas - The Island School - which Schwalbe also sings the praises of. I wonder how much of an applications bump they'll get because of this.