Unwifeable: A Memoir
NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY THE NEW YORK POST * MARIE CLAIRE * ELITE DAILY * REFINERY29 * ROMPER * PRIDE * PUREWOW “A gutsy book you need to read right now. Filled with heart and humor, it’s scary good.” —Courtney Love Unwifeable is the “riveting” (Cheryl Strayed), “inspirational” (Issa Rae), “hilarious” (Candace Bushnell) debut memoir from notorious dating columnist Mandy Stadtmiller that is destined to “blow you away” (Colin Quinn). Critics call it “phenomenal” (Cat Marnell), “unflinching” (Elle), “brilliant” (BBC), “outrageously entertaining” (Booklist) and “a must-read” (BuzzFeed). Provocative, fearless, and dizzyingly uncensored, Mandy spills every secret she knows about dating, networking, comedy, celebrity, media, psychology, relationships, addiction, and the quest to find one’s true nature. She takes readers behind the scenes (and name names) as she relays her utterly addictive journey. Starting in 2005, Mandy picks up everything to move across the country to Manhattan, looking for a fresh start. She is newly divorced, thirty-years-old, with a dream job at the New York Post. She is ready to conquer the city, the industry, the world. But underneath the glitz and glamour, there is a darker side threatening to surface. The drug-fueled, never-ending party starts off as thrilling…but grows ever-terrifying. Too many blackout nights and scary decisions begin to add up. As she searches for the truth behind the façade, Mandy realizes that falling in love won’t fix her—until she learns to accept herself first. This is a true New York fairy tale brought to life—Sex and the City on acid. Perfect for when “you feel stuck in some way and wish to become unstuck” (Caroline Kepnes), you’all soon see why Unwifeable is one of the best reviewed, most beloved memoirs of the year.
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This was a really difficult read for me. It felt like rubbernecking, like witnessing someone else's painful life-changing crash and not looking away even though you know you should. This memoir was unbelievably candidly honest, peeling back the layers none of us want to see. It was awkward and filled with secondhand embarrassment, it was graphic and showy, I had no idea how to feel about it and I honestly still don't.
I never played games at all with men. Ever. Unless the game was to act like the kind of nightmare who hysterically cries at the drop of a hat and replies on a man for all manner of self-validation, self-worth, and approval to fill that giant gaping hole inside.
This memoir details Mandy's life in New York City and her experiences with alcoholism – and addiction of all kinds. It details her relationships with men, most of which crash and burn. It's hard for me to evaluate how to feel about this, because I know in general people tend to be much harder on women when it comes to being frank about raunchy behavior. The thing is, I just don't love reading about raunchy behavior.
As an adult, I can have all the alcohol I want, anytime I want. Which, when you have no boundaries, is a dangerous combination.
It would feel more like someone's life journey if it weren't for the incessant name dropping. She lists maybe every celebrity she's ever had an encounter with, and makes sure to emphasize the particularly unsavory encounters. This makes it feel more showy than anything else and it's hard to take her accounts more seriously than a continued cry for attention. I don't know Mandy and I'm not going to pretend to know anything about Mandy, but she talks a lot about how oversharing in her writing has done her so much harm in her past, and I guess it's hard for me to understand how this isn't just a continuation of that.
Is it fun? I don't know. Is self-harm fun? You be the judge.
Regardless, this is a pretty worthwhile read. Mandy is an incredibly good writer, and it's easy to cruise through this book – if you don't have to keep putting it down every time a particularly embarrassing scene pops up. I think a lot of good topics are discussed, I just wish there had been more of an emphasis on recovery than detailing every dirty encounter she ever had.