Thrown Off the Ice

This book, man. Just... this book. I thought I knew what I was getting into, then I thought I figured out where it was going instead, then I thought I knew how it would end. All of those predictions were turned ass-over-head, leaving me with a complete jumble of thoughts and feelings about the experience.

Objectively, the prose is engaging and flows very well - even when the narrative comes from the POV of a character whose crutch word is ‘fucking' (seriously, ‘fuck' and/or its variants appear 687 times). There are a few typos here and there, but frankly less than I've caught in novels released by bigger authors and publishers. The story told is a bit different from what I've experienced so far in the genre, even among those with similar plot beats, so either there's originality involved or I still have a long way to go before I can consider myself well-versed in m/m hockey stories. Possibly both.

Subjectively... I felt just about everything I could while reading this book. Intrigue and indifference, annoyance and appreciation, boredom and interest, disgust and fascination, affection and disappointment, happiness and sadness: if there's a pair of contradictory emotions which can be felt while reading, chances are high that at some point in this book I experienced each one. It touched a couple of my squicks and a pet peeve or two, but I never quite wanted to give up - only skim a chapter or two. (For the record, that chapter or two consisted of 99% smut, so I didn't skip anything of plotty substance.)

I was exhausted by the constant push-pull of Liam and Mike's relationship, especially when Liam was ignoring boundaries and Mike was being cruel, but I never outright hated either character the way I normally would. Mike's unending pessimism and curmudgeonly personality got on my nerves roughly as much as Liam's excited, pushy puppydog personality, and they both desperately needed to partake in some therapy and stop feeling so entitled. Yet something about this book just kept drawing me back in, even when my interest waned. I'm not entirely sure what element it was or why, but I'm glad it did.

The first quarter surprised me once or twice but otherwise wasn't all that compelling considering it was mostly just a series of overly drawn-out sex scenes. (I'm no stranger to reading erotica, and I don't normally mind explicit sex scenes, but in this case it was too much of a ‘good' thing and I found the way the smut was written to be meticulous instead of steamy.) In fact, the first half was kind of mediocre to me. Not terrible, not great - readable, but maybe only a two-star excursion. I did not understand the hype for this book during the first half.

Then things picked up in the second half. Things changed. With an exception or two, the sex scenes became summarized or faded to black and other interactions began to take the spotlight. The characters felt like they were more fleshed out - if also still with grating personalities - and there was more of a story than ‘reluctant grumpy/sunshine age gap hookup: the novella'. That compelling cover art finally started to make sense and I found myself actually caring about what happened in the story. Sometimes, that meant being frustrated, yes, but I have a high tolerance for the brand of frustration which comes from writing and characters that make me feel things. This is why I read: to become invested in characters and experience their journeys with them. If my emotions come from immersion, I really don't mind having them - within reason, of course.

And though I was skeptical for most of the experience, by the end of this book I definitely felt things. I loved the last 20% or so. I liked the roughly 35% before that. The other (beginning) 45% left me feeling mostly indifferent but not uninterested. Those figures come from a combination of making shit up because screw precise math and estimating based upon Kindle progress at certain points.

I wish the relationship had as much emotion behind it for the majority of the story as it does in the final chapter and epilogue, because that likely would have made me enjoy it a lot more. But I did end up enjoying enough of it to say I liked the book overall. Not sure I'd read it again, at least not without skipping the all-smut chapters. But I'm glad I stuck through and read the whole thing, regardless.

The ending of this one might actually stick with me for a while, and I'm kind of impressed by how many times the story went in the exact opposite direction than I'd anticipated.

I have no clue how to translate that into a star rating, because three feels too low and four feels too high. But I'm going with three, if only because the goodreads guide of “liked it” feels more accurate than “really liked it.”

A couple of weeks ago I started seeing this book popping up in my feed, all raving stars. Quite frankly I was already a goner for the cover, it has a certain pop art appeal that's unusual in romance. My mistake was starting it late on Friday night. I got a chapter in and knew I was in the hands of an author with heft and an original voice. I also felt an immediate kinship with Mike. What I forgot was that weekends are generally filled with RL activities. I've never hated a weekend so much. Finally this afternoon was all mine and was able to dive in and finish. I'm so glad I read this and yet I wish it would've gone on forever. My bones are still aching from the raw beauty of this story.The particulars are irrelevant, but if you must know it's about 6'4” Mike Brouwer, professional NHL enforcer, and Liam Fitzgerald, who at 5'8”, is one the smallest players in the league. They meet when Mike is 30, on the tail end of his career, and Liam is an 18 y.o. rookie with lots of promise. What follows is a LOVE story in the real sense of the word. One devoid of the usual romance window dressing, sometimes raw, never sugary, but always authentic. [a:Taylor Fitzpatrick 14742909 Taylor Fitzpatrick https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] refuses to follow genre conventions or follow the beats of generic romance. This is a story that will linger in my veins, and which has had my eyes brimming with tears, even as I write this. I can honestly recommend it to anyone. Good writing, realistic storytelling, and characters who burrow deep under your skin, it's an embarrassment of riches. Absolutely one of the best romances I've ever read. Full stop.

Y'all are so wrong for having me read this. I'm in tears, sobbing and ugly crying. That was just pure perfection. A story of love and loss. I don't have the words to explain what this book has done to me.