The Spellbook of Katrina Van Tassel

I meant to read this in October, or “spooky season” as everyone seems to be calling it these days, but time got away from me. And also, doesn't a season imply more than one month? So whatever, I missed it by a few days, but I don't care. I'm glad I finally got around to it, because while not totally gripping or anything, I enjoyed the reading experience, the light spookiness of a Headless-Horseman retelling with a (somewhat unrealistic) feminist lens. The very end may have bumped up the rating a tiny bit (the confrontation with Brom) because it was just so well-done. A solid 3.5.

Ok... so... I hated this Katrina. How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...

Firstly, I suppose Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow is the culprit of these Ichabod-Katrina ships. I don't see why we should ship them. Why we should see Ichabod as this romantic hero and Brom as a macho bully?
Nevertheless, because Alyssa decided to take this road, we end up with instalove. They are not only “unconditionally and irrevocably in love with” each other, but they consummate the relationship also very quickly. I think it was their second date.

There comes the virgin myth. Seriously, women, how was your first time, if you keep spouting this crap about it hurting and women bleeding tons of blood? If sex hurts, you are doing it wrong. Stop it! I can only assume these women were too young and scared when they had sex first time. And there isn't much blood if any. It's not like menstruation. Frankly, the whole hymen thingy is a myth.

Also, it was made clear that Katrina was a virgin, but Ichabod was not. Why?

Then comes the modern “woke” attitudes. Yes, a number of people was abolitionists, and there was a current of “feminism” going around in the late 18th and early 19th century. Quite a lot of strong women voicing their opinions in France and USA, though they weren't mostly listened to. It wasn't unheard of, not even unusual for women to be writers. Marrying for love was more unusual. Especially if you were rich. And a woman. But Alyssa makes her Katrina express these opinions in a very modern manner. I like her style and voice in the book, it was easy to picture the events in the 18th century, but some things weren't as successfully written. This part irritated me.
Also, she had them talk about slavery, but that was about it. It didn't add anything to the story, it didn't move the story forward, it didn't illuminate anything, it just was there, hanging. I suppose part of it was to show what a horrible man Brom's father was, but he wasn't much in the story anyway, so why bother?

Yeah, sure, she tries to blame him for Brom's patriarchal attitudes, and why he “grew crooked”, but - it's just there. It really doesn't add anything to the story, so it could just as well have been left out.
Also, Brom... I don't get him. He's like an oil slick, I didn't get any picture of him. It felt like there had to be some sort of reason why Katrina was angry with him, so Alyssa invented this convoluted story that Brom had spoiled Charlotte's reputation by saying she was a witch, so the whole village started ostracising her. But they were very nice to her mother, who was basically the town doctor.

And Charlotte was basically a dish rag. Katrina was horrible, got angry with Charlotte for no real reason, said horrible things to her, and Charlotte just swallowed it all. And this brings us to next sin. We had the “You lied to me! Yes, I was a horrible bitch, but YOU LIED TO ME, so it doesn't count!!!” Yeah, sure, I admit it was good that you lied to me, and you didn't really lie to me, you just didn't tell me the whole truth, because you know me and you knew how I would take it, and I reacted exactly as you said I would, but YOU LIED TO ME!!! I CAN NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN!
And Charlotte is just there going “yeah, I suppose I deserve that”. F-ign dish rag!
And that scene, that
Charlotte: I need you to come with me, I need to show you something!
Katrina: So NOW you need to show me something!
Charlotte: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's really important, please, get up, and follow me
Katrina: whine whine whine YOU LIED TO ME whine whine whine
Charlotte: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's really important, please, get up, and follow me
Katrina: whine whine whine...
AAAARRRGH!!!

What else? Oh, yeah. “It's all my fault!!! WAAAAAH!!!” And everyone hurries to place to comfort the heroine. She is then totally fine and over it in 10 pages. Seriously, this bitch waltzes through the whole book thinking only about herself, and every other character is just her entourage. She argues with everyone, throwing accusations around; she accuses her best friend, the love of her life, and basically everyone... it's a wonder she doesn't accuse her dog of something. Maybe I just missed it.

Also, I was expecting Tim Burton fan fiction, and that this book would really have been Katrina's spellbook. But no. No spells. Charlotte would have had some spells, but in this book, Katrina doesn't use any of them. She just gets high and scries. It has nothing to do with any books. So, I don't know which idiot named this book, but they are an idiot. Misleading is a reason why my rating went from 3 to 2 stars. I'm really disappointed and appalled. I was expecting a juicy witch story, and I get this... wet cep.

The story itself... first 1/4 of the book is sex. Then we have Katrina being hysterical. More hysteria. Then she lies to her best friend and steals from her, and then when the best friend comes to her rescue in spite of that, she yells at her. And then we have a portion of self-pity that doesn't last very long, and then she gets a HEA. The End.

I have mad love for historical retellings, and The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow has always been one of my favorite spooky Halloween time stories, so to say I was excited when I saw this book available for review on NetGalley would be an understatement.



So did I enjoy it? Yes, quite a lot. Was it perfect? No, I think it was maybe a tad too long. My attention started to waver a bit around the 70% mark. That said, it was an exciting take on the legend. A little bit more ADULT if you will (Katrina and Ichabod get it on...often). The characters were well developed and interesting. Although, I thought Katrina layed on the “bitch-tude” a little heavy when it came to Brom. Perhaps if she had toned it down a notch, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did. Then again, if you know the legend than you know this isn't going to end in the couple riding off into the sunset. Still, even though my poor little romance-loving heart broke, the ending was satisfying.

So yea, I enjoyed it...