Survivor

4.5 this book made me cry because i was scared and the ending made me emotional. i am not giving it a full 5 because I feel like there was a part in the beginning that i would change but other than that i loved this book it was a bit extreme at times and i had to set it down but overall i loved it

this was hard for me to even decide if i wanted to rate it because i rate based off enjoyment and at about 40% of the way through i wasn't enjoying myself. in disturbing books i still enjoy my time but this one had me not for a good chunk. that is not why i rated it 4 stars instead of 5 tho because the book was trying to disturb me and it did that. i took off a star because i honest kinda wanted more to physically happen to the mc which kinda is kinda weird cause this book pushed my limits as it is but idk for the book's purpose and plot that's what i wanted. it seemed unrealistic how she came away from the situation(s). i loved the grief plot lines and the exploration or morally grey people and decisions. 

That was fucking disturbing.

This is the most disturbing thing I have ever read. There was a scene in the beginning of the book where a young girl get both her eyeballs sucked out during sex time with an older woman. That is just a glimpse into this book. Have barf bag handy. Did I like it? Yes. Do I wish I could erase parts of it from my brain? Please. Can you do that for me?