Shotgun Wedding

Yep, you saw right. I hate this so much I'm willing to give it a one-star rating even though I DNF'd at 11%. I usually try to make it further before I'm willing to rate a DNF one star, but I feel so much hatred for this rubbish that I need to make it known right now.

In fact, there are not enough words in the English language to explain how much I hate this steaming pile of trash. I don't even know how to explain what a disgusting and poorly-written mess it is, but I will say that I skipped most of the first chapter and skimmed the second. I refused to go any further when I reached 11% because I was just exhausted by the horrible writing and what feels to me like hate-filled, horrific stereotypes and tone-deaf handling of LGBT characters.

Two gay men dressed in rainbow-colored robes and holding hands walked out of a spaceship, and the protestors marched up to them and screamed at the two gay men.

???Junkballer scum! Your kind were made to eat cute hot meats! You???re born fuckers! Your only purpose in life is having hot gay sex! Go to Hell! Go to the Hell for the sinners who have sex! Go to fucking Hell!??? The two gay men drew laser guns and aimed them at the marchers defensively to protect themselves, and they walked away in a hurry, their rainbow robes flowing behind them like clouds of rainbows as they ran, leaving behind the protesters [...]

thirty-seven more words in that one sentence.

Exhibit A:

His dick, white and freckled and framed by a bush of bright red pubic hair, had become big, long and hard, with a huge pink phallic head at the end of a thick, long white shaft.

He pulled Sandy???s underpants down, exposing her vagina. Rufus stared at her pink, wrinkly woman-hole, framed by a bush of brown pubic hair, fascinated, hypnotized by the sight of her girl-parts and young womanhood.

He turned around, pulled his pants down, exposing his naked ass, and bent over. He grunted as he felt Nick grab hold of him and slide his penis into him homosexually. Nick fucked him, grabbing him by the sides of his waist and holding his butt steady in his strong grip and impaling him on his fleshy spear.

Nick reached a hand around and gave George a reach-around, fingering George???s dick expertly with his long, warm fingers while he butt-fucked his ass.

Exhibit A:

People called the Sheriff of Burgundy County by the nickname ???Doom Gays??? because when he was appointed as Sheriff it had doomed all of the gays and lesbians who had lived in Burgundy County. Many gays had lived there before he was appointed; all were now dead, some by accidents that could not be traced back to Doom Gays, many by laser blast to the head within their own homes in the dead of night, with no witnesses; a few had been lynched by groups of masked men, led by a scrawny, lanky, creepy man with hawk-like, cruel brown eyes; that man was Doom Gays. The law could do nothing to protect them, because, in Burgundy County, Doom Gays was the law.

During the wave of fascist homophobia and bigotry in the United States that had swept out of the Civil Rights Wars when George was a young man, a group of armed thugs had murdered his boyfriend, beating him to death with sticks and stones, literally. George had escaped with his life, just barely. Since then, there had been an era of relative tolerance and peace. But, in recent years, homophobia had returned, led by the Klan and the Neo-Nazis, and the anti-gay politicians were gaining more and more power, and, in the news, every day, the reporters would talk about the government???s plans to combat homosexuality and keep American heterosexual, such as by rounding up and confining all gay men and lesbians, or by forced conversion therapy to make everyone straight.

???I feel something,??? Rufus said. ???Something I???ve never felt before. There???s a heat. Inside me. I can???t believe how beautiful you are, that I never noticed before. Oh God! Oh God!???

???I don???t know,??? Rufus said. ???But it needs something. It wants something. Oh my God. It wants you!???

From these ideas, George had arrived at a remarkable result: each thing, like a book, a table, a house, or even a man, was merely the set of space-time points defined by a particular mathematical equation, that, when mapped onto the Cartesian space-time plane, would identify the set of points that defined that thing???s physical body and appearance to the five senses. In other words, just as there was a mathematical function that would define a parabola or a circle in geometric space, so that the function, with a set of numbers, defined a thing that you could see, the parabola or circle that you could look at, what the actual shape looked like, so also there was actually a function, inherent in the laws of math and physics, that defined each house, and each car, and every physically existing book and table and lamp, and even each person, even George Dexter himself. DNA was merely the visual expression of this underlying math for biological entities, just as the chemical elements expressed the underlying math for molecular entities. Each thing in Reality had a set of mathematical functions and values that defined it, that defined, in math, the transformation from Reality to the real existence of that specific, particular thing.

not my wording!

can't do it.

get ye off my Kindle app, you horrible thing!