Rules for Ghosting

You had me at “Jewish, trans undertaker sees dead people, including the ghost of his new boyfriend's late husband.”

Okay, to be accurate, Ezra Friedman is only filling in temporarily as the office manager for the Friedman Memorial Chapel; it's more than a little awkward for his mother to keep working there after she drops a bombshell at the family Passover seder that she and the rabbi's wife are in love and both leaving their husbands. Ezra has avoided his family's funeral home since he started seeing ghosts at a young age, starting with his beloved grandfather. Now he needs to be there daily, which gives him numerous opportunities to see his crush Jonathan, a Chapel volunteer who is still grieving the loss of his beloved husband, Ben. Ezra suspects that Ben hasn't let go yet either—because Ezra can see his ghost. And unlike the other specters, Ben can talk, and he has a lot to say.

Shelly Jay Shore does a lot of things well in her debut novel, including explaining traditional Jewish funeral rituals and posing questions around how trans individuals are welcomed into the gender-segregated ones such as taharah (ritual cleansing and dressing of the body). Ezra is a troubled but sympathetic character whose role as the family's emotional caretaker is starting to take its toll. The love story is a tad underdeveloped but it improves as the story progresses. The book's overall tone is serious but not melodramatic, with flashes of wry humor sprinkled throughout. I was afraid that the plot had the potential to succumb to farce, similar to the 1945 movie Blithe Spirit, but thankfully no hijinks ensue.

On the minus side, the novel's 400 pages are overly stuffed with subplots. Ezra moves into a house whose residents include his asexual/demisexual former boyfriend. The other housemates, mostly queer, become his found family. The funeral home faces financial issues and looming threats of corporate buyout. Ezra and his siblings struggle to reconcile their anger at their mother with their respect for her authentic queer truth. Jonathan has secrets about his marriage, and Ezra has secrets about the literal ghost in their new relationship. And there's a cute, slobbering pit bull mix named Sappho.

So depending on what you are hoping to find in the book – Family saga? Queer love story? Jewish fiction? – you may be disappointed, but you will not be bored. I give the author credit for penning such a distinct debut. Maybe next time she be more parsimonious with her ideas, and not try to cram them all into one story.

ARC received from Net Galley in exchange for objective review.

Stunning, beautiful, must readFor some reason I'd been putting this off. I can't explain or understand why because as soon as I started this I was invested. Ezra and Jonathan were two stunning main characters and I'm so glad we got to go on their journeys with them. I liked that both were doulas at two entirely different stages of life – Ezra being at birth and Jonathan being at death. It's interesting and can take a lot of avenues. Shelly Jay Shore did a good job with both of their jobs.

I highlighted so many quotes in my arc. There were so many good lines regarding grief and emotions. Growing up, finding yourself. I probably couldn't even find a favourite one because I love so many. The author really did a good job exploring and talking about grief. I really like it when the theme of grief is handled well – to me it shows the author is able to handle difficult themes/topics well. I liked the friendship group and the roles they played in both of their lives – how they all were friends so it wasn't awkward. It took me a while to like Ezra's family but once I really got into the book I liked them more.

The romance was just so sweet and I'm now following the author because I need to know when their next book will be out. I'm a full fan now, I want them to write a hundred more books. I found myself grinning a lot throughout this and their transition from friends to lovers was ever so sweet. I also liked that they were friends first before getting together – I think I'm starting to like friends to lovers more? I'm finding it's the writing and characters that definitely makes or breaks it (me liking the trope in a specific book). This book had that in spades.

Het is best ongemakkelijk als je begrafenismedewerker geesten kunt zien...

“There was only one spirit haunting the place, a young blond woman, who seemed content to occasionally appear long enough to watch episodes of The Great British Bake Off on the lumpy futon.“

Ik vraag me af of boeken als deze over zeg dertig jaar ook gedateerd over gaan komen, zoals ik dat bij bijvoorbeeld Hollinghurst had. “Doelgroepboeken” - Hollinghurst was een fijne read in de tijd dat homo's toch altijd maar somber beschreven werden, in dit boek is de hoofdpersoon trans. Dat is voor (h)erkenning heel belangrijk (weet ik uit ervaring), maar het leest toch wel als een “bubble”.