Rainbow Parenting

I just finished reading Rainbow Parenting by Lindz Amer and here are my views on it.

So the book identifies itself as an essential guide for parents and caregivers to raising queer-friendly kids in a gender affirming space.

Firstly, I have 2 older kids, my son is 20 and gay. My daughter is 17 and identifies as asexual and has a girlfriend. I thought, yay, this book might well give me some tools and see what I can do going forward for my older kids.

OK, everything in this book is someone's opinion on how they felt things should be done because of the damage it did to them not having all this in place. My son was curious and had a read. He felt the book didn't represent him at all and being his friend group all fit outside of the “normie matrix” his words not mine, and while he understood the authors perspective and their experience are valid, had I have done any of the things covered in this book, it would not have changed his reality. Me treating him normally without all the bubbles and rainbows helped him to accept who he was quickly and with love. Our situation isn't going to be the same as the next person, we acknowledge that, hence why I feel you need to take this book with a grain of salt and incorporate what feels right to you and your family.

This is one person's framework for inclusion and yes, some of it made sense and some of it felt a little heavy handed and excessive. My daughter has trans friends, gay friends, non-binary... Her friend group is diverse and beautiful. Not one of them had much they agreed with within the book. It was interesting to get all their points of view which is the number one thing this book brought to me. It started a conversation.

Is it a helpful guide? Sure, I am sure there is a lot of value in there for the right people but who knows which people that would be? I can't answer that but the author makes the assumption this is the framework for all which I do not agree with. My young kids are all fully accepting of everyone's differences and that love comes in all flavors without all the heavy handedness this book is trying to make you incorporate and it gets a little shamey in places too.

Was this book for me? No. Do I recommend it to people who may want to know more about a trans POV and maybe some ways they can make some changes in their own lives? HECK YES. It was eye opening to see how the author was affected growing up and I did find it was well written and easy to read.

3.5 stars. Would I read another book on the subject? Yes I would. Maybe I need it not from someone's 1st person perspective though.