How Neuroscience Is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood
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Average rating3.7
Health and science journalist Chelsea Conaboy explodes the concept of “maternal instinct” and tells a new story about what it means to become a parent. Conaboy expected things to change with the birth of her child. What she didn’t expect was how different she would feel. But she would soon discover what was behind this: her changing brain. Though Conaboy was prepared for the endless dirty diapers, the sleepless nights, and the joy of holding her newborn, she did not anticipate this shift in self, as deep as it was disorienting. Mother Brain is a groundbreaking exploration of the parental brain that untangles insidious myths from complicated realities. New parents undergo major structural and functional brain changes, driven by hormones and the deluge of stimuli a baby provides. These neurobiological changes help all parents—birthing or otherwise—adapt in those intense first days and prepare for a long period of learning how to meet their child’s needs. Pregnancy produces such significant changes in brain anatomy that researchers can easily sort those who have had one from those who haven't. And all highly involved parents, no matter their path to parenthood, develop similar caregiving circuitry. Yet this emerging science, which provides key insights into the wide-ranging experience of parenthood, from its larger role in shaping human nature to the intensity of our individual emotions, is mostly absent from the public conversation about parenthood. The story that exists in the science today is far more meaningful than the idea that mothers spring into being by instinct. Weaving the latest neuroscience and social psychology together with new reporting, Conaboy reveals unexpected upsides, generations of scientific neglect, and a powerful new narrative of parenthood.
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” ‘ maternal behavior' is, in fact, a basic human characteristic, not uniquely maternal after all” (Ch. 1)
“New parenthood is a developmental stage that takes time.” Ch. 1
I started skim-reading this partway through. Then stopped altogether. The premise was fascinating, but more research on this topic needs to be done. The studies the author cited were often inconclusive, too small, not published or peer-reviewed. I grew weary after many pages spent simply summarizing such studies. I agree from personal experience that caregiving changes the brain, and that parenting is a developmental stage that takes time to unfold. I wish I had known these things earlier, and that more research and knowledge were available to help new parents, but it seems this awareness is just unfolding. I hope for tomorrow's parents it will become more established, but this book is not quite the means to do it.
I also grow so weary of books that explain everything about human behavior in terms of natural selection. It's like explaining someone's journey from New York to San Francisco by describing how a train operates. It addresses the HOW but not the WHY. Without a spiritual element, the study of neurology becomes a deadening exercise in mechanization. And that particularly does not belong in any discussion of human relationships. We are more than brains walking around in bodies, and it's exactly our relationships of care that can open us to understanding that. So I'll be thrilled when a book appears that can put those pieces together.