Know My Name
Ratings205
Average rating4.7
Wow. This was not an easy read by any means but one I'll remember probably forever. Incredible storytelling by an incredible woman.
A wonderful book from an incredible person. Provides an eye opening look into all the challenges victims face in seeking justice for the harm done to them. It is maddening how damn difficult we make it for people to be heard and respected and believed. The share of the burden we place on survivors is truly unfair. This book highlights how hard the journey towards healing and even just surviving is and if it doesn't make you see changes are needed, then re read the book until you do. Also a big middle finger to Brock Turner and his indignant invalidation of the harm he caused and the things he took.
I echo the sentiments of the many who have left glowing reviews. An absolute must-read.
Miller's story delved extensively into childhood anecdotes, often at the expense of meaningful exploration of the central case. Whilst a personal touch can enhance storytelling, the narrative felt bogged down by excessive detail, leading to a repetitive and formulaic structure. As a reader seeking deeper insights into the case and the events of 2015–2017, I found myself unable to engage fully with the material.
For those who have walked her path in any way, her voice is a beautiful beacon; for those who need to learn, she is a magnificent teacher.
“What if you are assaulted and you didn't already belong to a male? Was having a boyfriend the only way to have your autonomy respected? Later I'd read suggestions that I cried r*pe because I was ashamed that I had cheated on my boyfriend. Somehow the victim never wins.”
This quote alone summarizes the powerful memoir, Know My Name by Chanel Miller. Let me set up your expectations for this book. This book is less about redemption or healing but more about the torment, the judgement and the criticism Chanel has faced during her quest for justice. She writes about the trauma that was inflicted by not only the perpetrator, Brock Turner but by the judicial system too.
This memoir hit me in the gut. As a guy, I have known the horrors that females face. I hear about these horrors narrated by the media or family. But never through the words of the victim herself. While reading this memoir, I sat down with Chanel Miller and listened to the turmoil that she has gone through and I know that she still would be going through some. I think a few pages in, I dropped the book and checked with my girlfriend. Has she ever had to go through this? A woman being treated as an object. I could do nothing but reassure her that she could tell me anything. There is nothing trivial when it comes to her feelings and her safety and that goes for any woman.
I know that this is less of a review and more of a statement but hey, this is what the memoir made me feel. I will leave you with one last quote from this book and you decide whether you should read this book.
“This time I wondered what behavior was acceptable for a victim. What tone? She warned me not to get angry. I learned that if you're angry, you're defensive. If you're flat, you're apathetic. Too upbeat, you're a suspect. If you weep, you're hysterical. Being too emotional made you unreliable. But being unemotional made you unaffected. How should I balance it all? Calm, I told myself. Collected. But during the hearing I'd lost control. What about when that happens? My DA reminded me that the jury understood what I was doing was hard. Just be yourself, she said. Which self, I wanted to reply.”
Required reading for the system and culture women must exist in America.
Chanel speaks for so many.
A harrowing account of the trauma and injustice faced by Chanel Miller not only in the criminal court, but also in the public arena, even in anonymity.
It also brings to light the unfair burden of evidence and effort required to get a shred of justice and closure - thus forcing survivors to relive the assault for an extended amount of time.
Chanel also highlights how victims have their qualities be put under the magnifying glass by defendants, almost insinuating that they were ‘asking for it' or deserved what happened.
The only criticism was that the back quarter of the book felt a little meandering/filler-y for my taste, but that in no way takes away from the gravity and value of Chanel's account.
“Most people say developing is linear, but for survivors it is cyclic. People grow up, victims grow around; we strengthen around the place that hurt, become older and fuller, but the vulnerable core is never gone.”
TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault
There are no words to describe how this made me feel. It's not something you can go into lightly and as a survivor, this brought up a lot of emotions for me.
We are living in a world that is conditioned to protect abusers and rapists. Why is it that the first thought when someone speaks out about their assault is that they're lying? Why is it that the majority care more about how the rapist's life is affected than the victims?
Why is it always, what were you wearing? Did you provoke him? Why were you drinking? Why were you out alone? Rather than ask the questions you should be?
Why did he think it was okay to lay his hands on them? What gave him the right to decide what they do or don't consent to? What is it about a person drinking or having fun or wearing an outfit that might show a bit of skin that gives him the right to say, I am owed something from this?
There is power and strength in talking about subjects that society has led many of us to believe Taboo. There is power and strength in coming together as a community to heal and support one another as victims.
One of the most heartbreaking things about this book is the reminder that it isn't a work of fiction, not for Chanel, not for myself and not for the hundreds of millions of people across the world.
Chanel handled this with such grace and there are no words to describe how empowering and utterly phenomenal this memoir is, not just for me, but for many victims and supporters alike.
As heavy as this was, I am so grateful that I took the time to read it. This is extremely special to me.
Thank you, Chanel, for being our voice and for continuing to elevate others.
an absolute must-read memoir. it's raw, honest, and beautifully written. chanel miller takes you on her incredible journey, shining a much-needed light on important issues. i relate to this book on a multitude of levels and it is deeply personal to me. this book is truly life-changing and deserves all the praise.
This is a powerful memoir about a case many of us remember following–the Stanford sexual assault case. I didn't follow the case closely when it was in the news, but it was mortifying how this victim, Chanel, was treated by the people charged to protect her. Sexual assault is omnipresent and a constant threat for women. It is only when brave women speak their truth that true change can happen. Bravo, Chanel.
Wow, just wow! This was incredibly enlightening as to what rape victims have to endure and the failure of our legal system. If you're wondering if you should read this.... You should.
I picked up this book after hearing Jack Edwards describe it as possibly the best memoir he'd ever read, and it definitely did not disappoint. Such a powerful book with so many learning points.
The experience of reading this memoir by Chanel Miller is extremely emotional. I found myself feeling angry at a flawed justice system, disappointed in a judgmental society that seeks to blame the victim, heartbroken over the pain and suffering Chanel and her family endured, and disgust at the lack of accountability placed on the rapist. Ms. Miller's account of her experience as Emily Doe, the victim of a sexual assault while unconscious, is very raw and revealing. It allows us to see her side of the story finally.
This book is not easy to read because it makes the reader feel uncomfortable emotions. But any book that is going to have an impact most likely needs to make us uncomfortable. My only complaint about the book is that some sections could have been better edited to eliminate some repetitiveness.
What a book. If the name is unfamiliar, Chanel Miller is the woman who was assaulted by Brock Turner behind a dumpster a few years ago- an assault his father disregarded in court as “20 minutes of action”, something I had actively repressed until it came up in this book. The memoir deals with Chanel's life before and, mostly, after this event and how the assault and the media attention affected her.
The sad reality is that many of the people who need to read this book the most- that is, the people who villainized her or defended Turner- will never read it. Regardless, it's an absolutely haunting, infuriating, and enlightening read. I think many women who have experienced similiar will find this book validating and/or inspiring and Chanel states that's the main reason she wrote it. I also think many men could gain some insight from this book about how women are treated regarding sexual assault. The way that Chanel was treated during the trial made my blood boil.
The way she describes events or the way she was feeling was so powerful. If I wasn't listening on audio, I would have stopped many times to write down some poignant quote or another. My only negative for this book was the length/pacing. The stuff dealing directly with her case was mostly paced well, but she started delving into things like Trump's presidency and police violence against black men. While a tangible point could be made with this, it felt out of place and more like someone just shouting “And another thing!!” at the end of their argument. Still a book I would strongly recommend to anybody.
honestly my review of this book is less about the quality of the text/content more like my friend recommended it to me and said it wasn't really about what happened but then i listened to it and was like ??? it's only about what happened, and what happened after what happened, which is actually part of what happened don't you see??
i started screaming and having nightmares for months after reading this (i think i read several books on the same subject around the same time). thanks for sharing your story, i am so, so, sorry this happened. unfortunately reading this, for me, was a (self-inflicted) punishment. IYKYK i suppose ♥️