Just like someone without mental illness only more so
Ratings3
Average rating3.7
More than thirty years after the publication of his acclaimed memoir The Eden Express, Mark Vonnegut continues his remarkable story in this searingly funny, iconoclastic account of coping with mental illness, finding his calling as a pediatrician, and learning that willpower isn't nearly enough. Here is the world after Mark was released from a mental hospital to find his family forever altered. After nineteen rejections, Mark was accepted to Harvard Medical School, where he gained purpose, a life, and some control over his condition. Ultimately a tribute to the small, daily, and positive parts of a life interrupted by bipolar disorder, this is a wise, unsentimental, and inspiring book that will resonate with generations of readers.--From publisher description.
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Someone asked Mark Vonnegut how he is different from someone without mental illness. He responded, “I'm just like someone without mental illness, only more so.” Instantly, I have a new favorite book title of all time. I found myself unable to approach this book with a neutral stance. Nothing wrong with that; it just makes my star rating idiosyncratic, influenced as it is by shared moreness/excess/whatever you want to call it.
In this memoir, Mark Vonnegut broadly details the psychotic breaks that resulted in a diagnosis of schizophrenia, which was later amended to a diagnosis of manic depression, which is now termed bipolar disorder in a bid to reduce stigma. (His response to that effort: “Good luck.” I loled.)
He also includes meditations on being a doctor, the role of art, being Kurt Vonnegut's son (which does not seem easy), and America's broken medical system. Comparisons to his father must be frustrating, but there are moments of undeniable symmetry in their sardonicism and they brought me true joy.
Some choice quotes:
On the indignity of not getting admitted to the good mental hospital:
Without prelude or explanation, I'm in four-point restraints in my boxer shorts on a gourney of the hospital where I once trained and currently still work. I'm [a Harvard Medical School] alum, HMS faculty. . . and I didn't even get into McLean's?
On the cruelty of his illness:
I was so quickly in tatters, what was the good of all that overachievement? It should have taken longer for my proud crust of wellness to be so utterly gone.
On art:
Without art you're stuck with yourself as you are and life as you think it is.
For someone with such a fascinating life he sure goes off on a lot of boring tangents
this is a nice little book about a doctor's experience of bipolar disorder/schizphrenia. it stands on it's own as good piece of writing.
but...(i am sorry mark vonnegut, i know this sucks man) it was impossible for me to read this without being in “reading kurt vonnegut” mode. it's no surprise that the unique trick of words and paragraph like installments are present and used in exactly the same way. the poignancy is just as poignant and poetry is just as beautiful in it's practicality. there is less artistry and more description of a life, but here and there...
also, i had not read eden express before reading this. it is hard to think of kurt vonnegut as a good day/bad day person. it's hard to think of him as someone's father. it's even more jarring to think of him as someone's father who is difficult and hard and not what he wants to be. it's a good lesson, i'm glad i read it.
