It's Like This

Review of Published Version:



It hurts to say this, but I very much prefer the original unpublished version of this book. I wish I could say the changes were an improvement, but unfortunately they “fixed” something that wasn't broken. This went from being a unique, lovely story about two young adults figuring out their kinky relationship to one of the same old BDSM books that are a dime a dozen. It's kind of crazy how the addition of a few words and sentences here and there can change the dynamic so much.

The first thing I noticed was the ridiculous number of times Rylan called Niles baby. I was sure I would have noticed this the first time around, as excessive use of endearments are a pet peeve of mine. I compared to the original, and found that it went from four instances to sixteen, and at one point he called him sweetness, which didn't happen in the original. I don't understand why this was done, and it was just a major turn-off for me. At least this didn't happen until Part II, so Part I was still incredibly hot!

The next difference I found was Rylan calling Niles good boy, dirty boy and cringebaby boy. It was just too much and didn't fit with the Rylan and Niles that I knew. Niles also underwent a personality change by becoming desperate for approval, worried about doing his best to “be good” for Rylan. He was edging dangerously close to the type of begging puppy dog sub I cannot stand. Here's an example of how a couple sentences could change him so much:

Original: “Please. Rylan. Please. Fuck me.”

Published: “Please, Rylan. Please fuck me, please. I'll be so good for you, I'll make you feel so good. Please just fuck me.”

Lastly, in regards to the D/s stuff, I think the author must have felt pressured to tame it down and introduce formalized BDSM concepts so as not to offend people. It felt less raw and real to me, and changed the nature of their relationship. This demonstrates what I consider the advantage of freefic, because the authors aren't constrained by the boundaries of what is deemed acceptable. Maybe most people would prefer the published version, but in my eyes, it lost something special.

Overall, I'd have to give this edition 3 stars, but I'm leaving the 5 star rating because it was well deserved for the original. Most of my issues with it were in Part II, so at least Part I was still amazingly good. I'm glad I spent the money on the published book because the author earned it with the first story I read and loved. However, I'm just going to remove the new version from my kindle and pretend I never read it!

Original Review of Unpublished Story:

I just love this story. Niles is so endearingly unsure of everything, and Rylan is the perfect blend of sweet and sexy! I LOVE the writing style, and the sex is amazing. I was constantly smiling and laughing throughout the story. It was such a fun read, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Highly recommend.