I'll Be There For You: The One about Friends

This was the perfect read after finishing a rewatch of “Friends”. It felt like a behind the scenes after the last credits. As a non-American watcher of the show, it was interesting to know what was happening in America while the show was ongoing, how it was perceived, and why certain things happened (or not) on screen. Plus I enjoyed the discussion about how the show aged as far as social issues are concerned ( Black & Asian representation, slut-shaming, Lgbtq+)

As a Friends fan and someone interested in how things get done in Hollywood, I thoroughly enjoyed this.

Quick, mostly fluffy read about a classic TV show. I don't think there's any new material but it's fun to see it all together in one place. The author downplays some of the real problematic aspects of the show (homophobic, slut-shaming, white-washed), but then this is an homage, not an expose.

One thing that did surprise me - I did not know about the young writer's assistant who filed a lawsuit against the show for sexual harassment because her job exposed her to racist, sexist and obscene comments made by the primarily white, male writers. The suit was not publicized much at the time, but the plaintiff's loss that was hailed as a victory for “free speech” by the industry looks very different now after Harvey Weinstein and #MeToo. It feels as if Kelsey Miller wants to explore this further, but it's almost a footnote to the story of how Jennifer Aniston felt about seeing everyone in the world having her haircut or how Nancy McKeon was almost cast as Monica.

Entertaining and well-written enough that I want to seek out additional material from this new-to-me author.

If you do not have at least a little bit of knowledge about or passing interest in Friends, this book isn't going to be for you. But if you, like me, still watch the show* or liked it in the past, and are interested in a retrospective cultural analysis of it, you're gonna love this.

I came late to the Friends phenomenon. I was in high school when the final seasons aired, and my parents hadn't been that big on us watching much TV. I don't think I really got into the show until it had ended, and I was in college. My younger sister acquired all 10 seasons on DVD and we shared custody of them despite living in adjacent states. My roommate and I would watch the seasons we had, and then every time I went home, I'd swap them out for new ones that we'd binge. Later, she worked in a used-video-game and DVD store and bought her own copy of the DVDs, and then we didn't need to borrow my sister's anymore (and when my roommate moved to another country after graduation, she let me keep them). I still watch the show when I need something mindless, or just need a comfortable and familiar laugh. I've probably watched the show the whole way through at least three or four times, and the episodes in seasons 5 and 6 (I agree with the author that this was the peak of the show) probably a dozen extra times each.

Even as a “die-hard,” there were quite a few tidbits about the show and the writers and the actors themselves that I didn't know. I found the analyses to be fascinating - looking at the show through the lens of its whiteness, its lack of racial diversity in its fictionalized New York, its homophobia and transphobia and how the country has evolved and left the show stuck in its particular time and place ... and why it's still a beloved phenomenon regardless, despite having all these issues, even among some of the minority groups it doesn't represent. I didn't know how early its #MeToo story started. I didn't know how the show changed amidst the changing landscape that was post-9/11 America. I didn't realize how big a Thing it was outside the U.S. too.

I feel kind of silly about my rating, but I stand by it just because I loved revisiting this show with a more critical eye, and that knock on wood it's remained this sort of time capsule that, amidst all the reboots of 2018, seems to be in a place where the actors are not interested in revisiting it. And that's more than okay with me.

*on DVD when I get annoyed with Netflix because even after Netflix spent all that money to acquire the rights to it and digitally remastered it THEY ONLY HAVE THE EDITED SYNDICATED VERSION AVAILABLE INSTEAD OF THE FULL EPISODES AND THEY LEFT OUT SO MANY GOOD JOKES AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL GAAAAAAH.

I love Friends, and wanted to love this book, but the info about the show was very surface-level. Even so, I was tempted to give this book four stars. But the last two chapters were awful. The writer clearly had an agenda and felt compelled to shoehorn in a “Me Too” segment which added nothing and really came over petty. She also threw some shade at Jerry Seinfield, who she obviously doesn't like, and just had to get some barbs in there. (She says he's said awful things lately about Bill Cosby and autism. If she did the slightest bit of research, she would know that Seinfeld is autistic and that he didn't defend Bill Cosby.)

Criticizing a show that is beloved is fine. I enjoy a long hard look at things we love. But criticizing it for being made in 1994 and not 2018 is very weird.