If I Disappear

There are different and unique aspects of this book - like it being told as though the reader is Rachel - that make it stand out. Sarah is an interesting character to get into, and the perspective from which the story is told makes it seem a bit more unsettling (which is the point). I did enjoy this read; the ending, not as much, but I still left it feeling glad I'd tried out this recently published book. It's dark and unique in telling/writing, which is straight up my alley.

I like that it is written in second person. That really keeps us in Sera's head. Being in her head so much really makes you question reality. That is a strength of the book.
The ending gets complicated, but because we are so much in Sera's head, we can't get a straight answer about the ending. I think the author makes the actions and who did it pretty clear. The why of it all is where I get tripped up. Several people had to do the wrong thing to make it all happen that way and I just don't get why they all made the wrong decisions they made.
The podcast part of it just made everyone look more crazy. I'm not sure how I feel about that portrayal.
I will think back about this book often, so that makes it a pretty good book.

I had a lot of fun reading If I Disappaear. It starts rather abruptly following Sera as she is already most of the way to the ranch the book is set on and explains the reasoning behind her choice to come and check on her favourite podcaster. I think this opening scene could have done with a bit more set up as I found it to be fairly unbelievable. Otherwise, the plot moves fast and kept me engaged. I liked the unreliable characters and how it kept me guessing thoughout the book.

The exposition style re-write of the ???final??? reveal was not my cup of tea. I think it would have been a stronger ending if the twist had been incorporated into the narrative rather than feel like I was reading it removed from the story.

Sera was missing something to make her stand out as a character. I felt like we were missing some backstory or character building moments to understand her decisions. I also thought the sudden inclusion of the anti-men narrative was so randomly placed in to the story especially since Sera???s closest friends from her backstory are both men.

If I Disappear was special in that it was a very original concept and story, in my opinion. I hope to see more from Eliza Jane Brazier soon!

Plot Details
Sera has been a bit down on her luck lately. She's been married and divorced and really doesn't feel like she has too much to show for her life. But she is addicted to true crime podcast, especially a particular one by a podcaster named Rachel. But when Rachel stops releasing new episodes and seemingly falls off the grid, Sera is curious to know what happened. She decides to take a drive and check out what she knows of Rachel's life from her podcast. Thinking maybe Rachel could have ended up like one of the unfortunate girls on her podcast, Sera is determined to find out the truth. But does she find more than she bargained for?

My Thoughts
When I heard about this book, it sounded right up my alley. I recently read The Night Swim, also about a podcaster, and I really enjoyed it. If I Disappear was a bit different in that it was told from the point of view of a podcast listener instead of the podcaster. Sera is an interesting character. Personally, I found her not very likable. Doesn't it seem kind of out there to be so into a podcast that you hop in your car to go check things out when the podcast stops? I mean, maybe Rachel just got tired of it. But Sera was convinced that this wasn't the case, and she didn't want to stop until she had the answers.

Once Sera gets to Rachel's hometown, things just keep getting weirder and weirder. I found myself wondering why she stayed. But the deeper I got into the book, the more I also wanted to know what was going on with Rachel, her parents, and the people in her town too. If I Disappear was a strange novel, but in a good way. It sucks you in and makes you just like Sera, not wanting to stop until you know the truth. And the creep factor was very high, which I love! I really enjoyed this adult debut from Eliza Jane Brazier. I look forward to talking to her and finding out more about her and what she's got coming next. If I Disappear will be released on January 26, 2021 in hardcover and ebook format. Pick up a copy and check it out for yourself!

Rating: 4/5