Hell Was Full

If you rate this book less than five stars, all your body hair below your eyebrows will fall out. For some of you, that might seem a desirable effect—a real timesaver. Let me caution you that a day will come when you'll wish desperately for the wicking effect of said body hair, and on that day you'll say out loud to no-one, “I shouldn't have been anything but effusive about that collection of rude scrawling” before slipping on a puddle of your own perspiration and taking a comical but injurious pratfall that necessitates many months of costly and tedious physical therapy.