girl, isolated: poems, notes on healing, etc.

I saw an unattributed quote online, and googled it only to find it was from this book – and the author is one of the only poets I really enjoy. Which meant I immediately downloaded it and proceeded to devour it in one sitting. Please note I am not a poetry connoisseur by any stretch. I had to take a class on poetry in college and promptly tried to forget everything about it because I don't care about iambic pentameter or what the hell ever. I only care about how the words hit my soul, and Trista Mateer's work absolutely land home.

While this book was written during the isolation phase of the 2020 pandemic, the words and feelings expressed really feel relatable for anyone who is lonely – whether that's a more temporary thing, or a way of living.

lonely is lonelier when you say it out loud and I'd swear by that
when I'm not checking to see if someone texted me I'm waiting to check
passing time until I can look at the phone once again hoping I just missed the buzz

One day you're complaining about the exhaustion and your friend says, what are you talking about? There's a ladder right over there. Just get out and dry off.
But you don't understand. And you're scared of what's over there. You've got no idea what it feels like to stand
on two feet.
You don't remember
not being
in the water

I crawled on broken glass to get here. You better believe I'm living it up. I will swallow stars if I want to. May my dreams come true. May my enemies eat shit. Times are tough but I'm a fucking nightmare. I have my boot on the throat of hell right now. Watch me beat my demons into submission. Surviving's ugly work and here I am, so hideously alive.

You're going to be happy again. Your own delight is going to catch you so off guard one day. I don't know when it'll happen or how long it'll take but that future where you're loved and joyous, it's waiting for you. And it's content to wait. You don't need to go chasing it down right now. It'll find you. All you have to do now is rest. Breathe. Tend to yourself. You'll find your way home.