First & Then

I feel mean, but I think Emma Mills bit off more than she could chew. Too many characters and not enough character development, including and probably especially the protagonist.

Who is Devon? I don't know if I know. Of course it's fine to have a main character insecure in their abilities and unsure of their aspirations. That's a lot of main characters. Stories about feeling inept and being rejected are relatable. Lacking a sense of direction and belonging is relatable. I think my point is, characters can have existential crises, but they still need to have personalities.

Why did everyone keep talking to Devon? She didn't really have any friends except Cas, and even that dynamic was more her pining. Everyone was always going up to Devon and striking up conversations, and I didn't really understand why. I couldn't get a sense of who she was in relation to the people who kept approaching her, and their approaching her didn't help because most of those interactions felt like subplots that ultimately amounted to nothing.

More generally, I don't have a firm sense of most of the characters. It seemed like we were supposed to like Cas, and then there was a moment of confrontation and as a result maybe we were supposed to not like him anymore? But he also just basically vanished from that point onward. Jordan and Lindsey were there, best as I can tell, to just be likable.

Some of the side characters were interesting, but you only caught glances. Foster falls into that category, certainly, but also people like Emir and Marabelle. Rachel was kind of cool. A lot more could have been done with Devon's assumptions about the freshman girls who were in her gym class and/or came to tutoring. But almost all of these characters impacted the story sporadically at best.

In terms of the love interest, First and Then reminded me a lot of Eliza and Her Monsters. You have your highly reserved (some may say emotionally unavailable!) high school football athlete who recently moved and is hiding secrets to do with family loss and drunk driving. Didn't do much for me then, didn't do much for me now.

I liked Foolish Hearts a lot. I think Emma Mills is talented. But this one underwhelmed me. Even the ending was just...it was just over. The cover is adorable, though.