Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine

very predictable but still enjoyable nonetheless. it's easy to tell why this was dymocks customers' favourite book of 2019

** all we need is a little love (and food, shelter, money, medicines) but yeah, human companionship **
I was so worried that this was going to be a case of “over-hyped books that are actually just average.” Happy to report I was only 27% right. This book apparently made it to Reese Witherspoon's book club and thus causing a riot. (later part may need fact-checking)

I have been wanting to read the book for over a year now. I saw this popping up everywhere. On my Instagram page, recommended by Bookgrammers, overpriced airport book shops, in newsletters of artists I respect and admire. Heck, a stranger even raved about it in one of my book club visits.
So last week I decided, Eleanor Oliphant it is! Since I can't buy stuff right now and Amazon won't deliver (read: national lockdown), I got an ebook on my iPad. I firmly believe that if I had read this as a paperback, I would have enjoyed it 13% more. (Don't ask me why I know I would have).

I start very slow, I felt a bit lost, but the simple fluid writing got me through it. It was very reminiscent of Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion. The first 100 or so pages felt very average; it wasn't a badly written story - I just didn't see the mass appeal around it. But as Eleanor's character grew, so did my interest and involvement with the book. Her character arc is paced very well, and Gail Honeyman did a bloody good job with it, more so since this is her debut novel. You're with Eleanor as she goes through the ebb and flow of growing, hurting, learning, and growing a bit more. I did feel the musician story arc was a bit rushed and ended a bit abruptly since it was presented as a singular focus of the protagonist for most of the first half of the book. But I nitpick.
It was an absolute joy and delight to see how many genuinely nice human beings through the book. All these characters - strangers, trying to be kind, supportive, warm, friendly, and overall decent human beings. With all the hard work and kindness of essential works and healthcare staff in our current times, this just restored my faith in humans even more. The central theme of the book is the value of fostering deep human relations - the introduction of which causes Eleanor's life to change for the better. It's visible with characters like Raymond, Sammy, and Laura.
Can we talk about Raymond for a hot second? Let's do that. Raymond, you gem of a human being. Anyone who knows me well has been an audience to my “nice guy” rant at least once. I hate the “nice guy” trope. I despise it when men are all “nice” and “sweet” and “helpful” but also dorky in their own adorable way but whine when they don't get the girl (read: Brian Jackson from Starter for Ten) feeling that they were entitled to it be with her, to begin with. Like, nuh-uh, ain't nobody got time for that drama. Raymond was a refreshing character. He is genuinely a nice human being. Ladies and Gentlemen, news flash, a real nice guy won't tell you he is one every five seconds - his actions speak for him.
The plot could have very easily divulged into a rom-com story but didn't, instead of celebrating the power and grace of a healthy, positive friendship. We don't see Raymond or Eleanor trying to do nice things to get into each other's pants, but just do them for the sake of it. Raymond is your classic gentleman - goofy, a little shabby, big-heart, pragmatic, but also pushing boundaries. His efforts to support Eleanor through her trauma and pushing her out of her comfort zone, sometimes through mundane acts like grabbing lunch or a pint, is truly nice. Being nice is when you do things without expecting something in return, and that's what my man Raymond does. It is just so comforting to see two individuals of opposite sex helping one another and enabling their growth because they are “pals” and “that's what friends do” without forcefully driving it into a romantic direction. YES - need more of this, please.

This book deal with some weighty issues - childhood trauma, gaslighting, domestic abuse, chronic depression, toxic relationships. But as a reader, not once did I feel like Eleanor was a “victim.” As she declares in the last chapter, “I am a survivor!” - heck yes, you are! We are delicately guided through Eleanor's trauma and adversities while giving us space to deal with our own reality. I saw a very non-fluff, a non-romanticized depiction of therapy in this book. It is slow; it is messy, and once your hour's up - you could be a hot crying mess but will still be guided out of the room. Getting help for mental health is neither shown as shameful, not glamorous, just like getting help for a physical alignment and for that, kudos.

Now, more than ever, since we are all isolated some comforting human connections, maybe this book will remind you to reach out to your friends and have a heart to heart.

It's a solid book with a slightly predictable storyline, but the stellar set of characters make it worth reading. Yes, it was slow to grow one, but by the end of it, I had a big fat smile on me ‘ol face. (argh, I am reading too much British fiction)

Absolutely marvelous.

I wasn't sure I was going to like this one. It started out so uncomfortable and I was afraid it would keep going like that. However, Eleanor got more sympathetic and it was easier to read about her. In the end I really liked it.

A heartwarming and heart breaking story that I simply loved

interesting narrator, unputdownable book

I was thrown when I began reading this book, because I had read that it was a funny story. I didn't find it funny, and that felt like it kept interrupting me while I read, thinking “Why do people think this is funny”? Now that I've finished, I'm very glad I read it. The story of hope and redemption and the impact that we have on each other's lives is worth reading. We read this for book club, and there is a lot to unpack here and discuss.

What a wonderful book. Eleanor is such a self-possessed character and is resplendent in her quirkiness and meticulous idiosyncrasies. She is surrounded by strong characters, each fresh and simply drawn. A heartfelt meditation on loneliness, coping with loss and finding the stuff of life in the everyday connections that surround us. I enjoyed every page.

Eleanor Oliphant started off well enough. It was funny, witty, and Eleanor is an interesting character. There was a little dark edge there in the form of the flashbacks/ “telephone calls” with Eleanor's mom. The humor was mostly coming from Eleanor's lack of social skills and misunderstanding of other people. Most of us take for granted the ability to navigate a social situation, even though they may be awkward we manage. Also, Eleanor's capacity for self-delusion as she pretends that it's the other people she interacts with, not her, that are foolish, rude, crazy, whatever. The second half of the book is where Honeyman lost me. Once the major catastrophe of the book occurs, Eleanor goes into therapy. This makes sense is completely believable, however these chapters of the book are dull and flat. Nothing new that the reader didn't already guess about her past is revealed. There is a huge tone shift, which I have no problem with as a rule. But if the second half shifts, it needs to be equal to the first half and it wasn't. Sure, I want Eleanor to be truly fine in the end but I still need to be engaged as a reader. Another aspect of the book that I was not too thrilled with is Eleanor's victimization. There were a lot of comparisons of this book to [b:A Man Called Ove 18774964 A Man Called Ove Fredrik Backman https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1405259930l/18774964.SY75.jpg 21619954] . The comparisons aren't Honeyman's fault but this draws attention to the fact that Eleanor's loneliness and off-putting behavior seems to be explained by an abusive mother AND a “boyfriend” she had that raped and abused her. Ove had tragedy in his life but there was no feeling that he was a victim that you should feel sorry for or need to protect. I hate to do this, but I admit I'm bringing this up because she's a woman. Making a female character a victim doesn't make her more interesting or likeable. We need to get past that notion. Eleanor's fear and loathing of dealing with people, her insecurity, could have had a more subtle cause.

At the beginning of this book I didn't know why it came so highly recommended. Eleanor was not initially likeable, with her awkward social skills, judgmental nature, and how she says everything on her mind. However, I plugged on with the book knowing that there was something more. Reese Witherspoon stated that this book was “incredibly funny” I did not agree with this statement. Perhaps it's because I routinely work with children who have experienced trauma like Eleanor has. I loved Eleanor's evolution, how though it was helped by Raymond, his mother, Laura, and Sammy showing kindness to her but it was largely her own doing and it was for herself that she was working on her trauma. I also liked that there was no implicit romance between her and Raymond. One thing that did bother me, the big reveal, I.e. that Eleanor was not actually ever talking to her Mummy, that her mother was in fact dead, seemed glossed over so much so that I didn't really pick up on it until Eleanor expressly stared it.

Just read it.

This one was recommended by my book club, and I knew absolutely nothing about it. It turned out to be a phenomenal surprise.

The book is set in Scotland, and it really felt like it was written by someone who had either spent a lot of time here or was Scottish. This is the first time I've read accurate Scottish speech on the page and I felt so seen. The audio book is also top notch in terms of accents.

At the beginning of the story, Eleanor is absolutely, determinedly F-I-N-E with her life, her complete lack of friends and the limited contact she has with others. Eleanor's story pulls no punches, and we get an intimate look into her life as she begins to branch out and connect with the people she works with.

A sweet story about the terror of loneliness and the beauty of striving to reconnect.

This was lovely - a must-read for anyone who loved [b:A Man Called Ove 18774964 A Man Called Ove Fredrik Backman https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1405259930l/18774964.SY75.jpg 21619954]. I love a good “misfit finds a friend group” story, and this one is pitch-perfect. At first, Eleanor is funny and preposterous, but you quickly pick up on a deep pathos in her life that she herself is unaware of. But even when it made me cry, it had warmth and verve that sustained me. Honeyman has said she didn't want Eleanor's identity to be “victim,” and that's very well executed. The audio version was incredible, adding a lot to my reading. Cathleen McCarron weilds various Scots accents with aplomb, while giving Eleanor a distinctive voice and managing male characters with grace and ease.

I enjoyed this book, although I didn't love it like I hoped I would. It's quirky, sweet, awkward, funnysad, and hopeful. A bit slow, but I'd think about this more as a character study. Snuggle in with a cup of tea and prepare to learn all about Miss Eleanor Oliphant.

I am between 3 and 3.5/5 stars

“I was fine, perfectly fine on my own, but I needed to keep Mummy happy, keep her calm so she would leave me in peace. A boyfriend—a husband?—might just do the trick. It wasn't that I needed anyone. I was, as I previously stated, perfectly fine.“Eleanor Oliphant most certainly is not fine. Unless, maybe, Honeyman has read [a:Louise Penny 194243 Louise Penny https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1257567070p2/194243.jpg]'s brilliant mysteries, among them “[b:Dead Cold 352922 Dead Cold (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache, #2) Louise Penny https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1408927983s/352922.jpg 343141]” (also published as “[b:A Fatal Grace 352921 A Fatal Grace (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache, #2) Louise Penny https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1327918653s/352921.jpg 343141]”) and actually means FINE (she even uses this term in all-caps herself) which stands for “Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Egotistical”. That's part of what Eleanor is. I've read this book is about loneliness and, yes, it certainly is but it's so much more – depression, childhood abuse and recovery. Eleanor goes to work, trying to avoid any non-essential contact with her co-workers or, in fact, any human being for that matter. She relies completely on her routines (“I sat down and watched television alone, like I do Every. Single. Night.”) and abhors any deviations. Whenever she starts to actually experience feelings, she drowns them in Vodka. Suddenly and by pure chance, Raymond enters her life and Eleanor realises there should be more in life than routine. This is not a romance, though. It's not a “funny” book as such either – even though it has plenty of humour. “After much reflection on the political and sociological aspects of the table, I have realized that I am completely uninterested in food. My preference is for fodder that is cheap, quick and simple to procure and prepare, whilst providing the requisite nutrients to enable a person to stay alive.” The humour is always laced with Eleanor's immense pain from which she is hiding; albeit not very successfully because you can't “escape or undo” your past, nor can you just shed it: “The past could neither be escaped nor undone. After all these weeks of delusion, I recognized, breathless, the pure, brutal truth of it. I felt despair and nausea mingled inside me, and then that familiar black, black mood came down fast.” We are all defined by our past; what was done to us by our parents, by siblings, other relatives or other people we love(d). Since none of us are perfect, it follows that everyone will at least make mistakes. I made and still make mistakes raising my kids. I'm just trying to make my mistakes with as much love as possible. Most of us can deal with what we experienced; some of us – yours truly included – just like Eleanor need help dealing with our past and we must learn to live with ourselves and our demons. This “universal brokenness” is probably the reason this book is deservedly as popular as it is: We can relate to Eleanor because we at least recognise a few of her “eccentricities”. The consistent way she narrates her own story, her complete, disarming honesty even at the expense of her own dignity at times, makes her human. The more Eleanor tells us about herself, the more she lets small remarks slip that are revealing with respect to her abusive “Mummy” and the one incident that forever changed her life. The further we get the bolder Eleanor becomes and she gets ready to face the truths she needs to confront to get better and once she has crossed the Rubicon, there's no holding her back: “I was ready. Bring out your dead.” Until that point, though, it's a struggle for Eleanor and it was sometimes a struggle for me because I so badly wanted her to get better and at one point, I realised I rooted so much for her I just had to have a happy ending or be crushed. How can someone survive a mother like Eleanor's? The conversations with her are written in a way that gave me the creeps; they start out relatively normal, harmless and even – in a few instances – positively... “You wouldn't understand, of course, but the bond between a mother and child, it's . . . how best to describe it . . . unbreakable. The two of us are linked forever, you see—same blood in my veins that's running through yours.” ... it already started sounding slightly weird here but it quickly escalates much further... “You grew inside me, your teeth and your tongue and your cervix are all made from my cells, my genes. Who knows what little surprises I left growing inside there for you, which codes I set running? Breast cancer? Alzheimer's? You'll just have to wait and see. You were fermenting inside me for all those months, nice and cozy, Eleanor. However hard you try to walk away from that fact, you can't, darling, you simply can't. It isn't possible to destroy a bond that strong.” Eleanor “fermented” inside her mother – what a horrible thought! And, yes, even such a deprecating bond cannot completely be destroyed. We just have to learn to live with it. That Eleanor is still a functioning – albeit damaged – human being after all that makes us admire her and her humanity. All the more so as we only learn the entire horrible truth bit by bit (“I was normal-sized and normal-faced (on one side, anyway).”): In her developing companionship with Raymond, Eleanor slowly realises there's more to life and seeing how she works her way back into a more “normal” life is moving and enjoyable. It's never kitschy or soppy because her honesty (and often: bluntness) is very refreshing. Especially due to the fact that she knows full well that she's not really fine: “You're a bit mental, aren't you?” she said, not in the least aggressively, but slurring her words somewhat. It was hardly the first time I'd heard this. “Yes,” I said, “yes, I suppose I am.” At other times I wanted to shout at her, e. g. when she decides a random good-looking guy will save her. By means of a partner, she intends to “reassemble”, to reinvent herself and make the “Eleanor pieces” fit – which can't ever work that way. You might not like Eleanor, maybe even loathe her for her constant denial, for her “weakness” or maybe you love her for her strength and her ultimate refusal to give up. Either way, you cannot be indifferent to her because she feels completely real. She could be your weird colleague, your rarely-seen neighbour. All of this combined with Honeyman's wonderful writing style, and the ending that is exactly as it should be, won this book a place among my favourites of all time. Only a few days ago I read “[b:Kaffee und Zigaretten 44128391 Kaffee und Zigaretten Ferdinand von Schirach https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1551092142s/44128391.jpg 68620284]” by [a:Ferdinand von Schirach 3048443 Ferdinand von Schirach https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1340958280p2/3048443.jpg] who wrote in that book “We're looking for the books written for us.”. I couldn't agree more. P.S.: To my Maria: If you ever read this, SvF, please know that I'm deeply grateful for all your help and let me quote Eleanor herself: “I felt very calm. “Essentially, though, in all the ways that matter . . . I'm fine now. Fine,” I repeated, stressing the word because, at last, it was true.”

The best part of the book was Polly the plant

I really wanted to like this book. I seem to have a hard time identifying with this kind of character as well as to what the tone was. I didn't like her, she wasn't believable and I struggled to sympathize with her. She wasn't that interesting, only her alluded to past was and I felt awful as I powered through seemingly only for the salacious details, like some sort of high brow tabloid; it's not trashy it's ‘art'.
She was boring and repetitive, which I get are symptoms of how broken she's supposed to be, but that doesn't make it interesting. She's also an unreliable narrator. Eleanor is portrayed as victim rather than survivor and it makes me sad, and there are moments where her autonomy and personhood continue to be restricted. The therapist, even taking into account that it's entirely from Eleanor's perspective, is harsher than necessary; warn a person that that type of recover memory therapy hurts and don't push them to go at your pace.

Who gives someone a cat with out asking first?!

Clichés abound, the most annoying of which would be Raymond would fumble or sputter each time Eleanor brought up having an interest in someone else.

Why is she receiving therapy 20 years after the traumatic event? Yet it's assumed that she's had a social worker for all that time. ‘Assumed' because I don't know how social work functions in Scotland, because if she had a continuous case worker how come she was with the abusive guy for an extended period of time? How is it the therapist and social worker never connected?

So many things.
_________

First I read the paperback, and then about four years later I listened to the audiobook version.

Memory is a strange thing; I could have sworn that there were some differences, but the audiobook said that it was unabridged.

When I read the book it felt more sharp and extreme, but when I listened to it, it felt flattened. For example when I read the book her behavior regarding Johnnie Lomond seemed much more stalker-like and indicative of psychosis, but when I listened to it was more like “oh she's just quirky and due to her trauma she's just experiencing a teen crush but at 30”.
The giving of the cat also seem less extreme, less forceful, but I stand by feeling indignant about bringing a stray cat into someone's house. I get that giving her a cat is something to help counter possible suicide ideation, particularly since Polly the plant has died, but it still feels like an invasion especially given how fastidious Eleanor is. I also understand that the cat is a representation of Eleanor, it survived a fire, it's somewhat anti-social, it's health improves, etc.

Another aspect of the book that bothers me was the how and why Eleanor changes. In the beginning of the book she gets a bikini wax; she's changing in order to get a man which will also get her the approval of her mother. I understand that people are vain, but I was also saddened by how after Eleanor wears makeup to cover her scars she's treated better. I suppose that one could say that she might be more confident and that's why people respond better to her, but I don't think that Eleanor was bothered by her face. The clothes change too, this was an area that seemed a little more tempered by what she actually wanted, or at least she initially states some boundaries such as no heels. Eleanor changes in many ways in the book, but Raymond does not. I would have appreciated for Raymond to stop smoking, or at least to cut back. The book leaves it as an “open” ending as to whether or not they get together, but who goes to a classical music concert, one-on-one, with just a friend? So Eleanor goes through all this change both in appearance as well as starts therapy and Raymond can't even chew with his mouth closed?Also the foster parents that expected Eleanor to clean out the fireplace were idiots. I know that throughout the book that Eleanor refers to her marks as scars, but burns leave specific scars, you can tell the difference between a scar left by a burn vs one made by a cut. Listening to the book I enjoyed it more than the first time, but I also went into it knowing her background. I also appreciated the descriptions of the seasons. It's closer to a three this time, but not quite there for me. I hate how this is described as “feel good”, was her abuser jailed or did he face any real consequences? Besides Raymond, who it's hinted at is more of a romantic interest, does Eleanor make or have any friends? I am happy that Eleanor experiences radical change – I view her “ending her connection with her mother” as her breaking up with depression and choosing to be happy and live life. That is an uplifting thing, but before she is uplifted she's put through so much.

I knew this book had been highly applauded since its release, I had picked it up in a charity shop haul and promptly put it on my bookcase and there it has lingered for some months now but after finishing an epic fantasy I felt the need for a little slice of real life and decided to delve into a book that I hoped very much lived up to the praise I'd heard.

The first thing that struck me about this book was the social inadequacies of our heroine, Eleanor Oliphant, a thirty-year-old single girl living in Glasgow who spends Monday to Friday at her mundane office job and then goes home at the weekend with two bottles of vodka and a Margherita pizza and speaks to and sees no one all weekend. This is described on the book jacket but inside the covers, we discover she finds making conversation with other people difficult, she spends her evenings reading books and listening to the radio. The one event that really highlighted for me how awkward was when she goes to a pub for a drink with a colleague and offers to buy the drinks then before he leaves asks him for the £3.50 for his pint of Guinness back.

There are points in the early pages of the book where Eleanor makes you cringe, so inept is she in the ways of social niceties. She's strange and a little aloof and unfalteringly honest about the things she sees around her, even when sharing her views may be unwelcome. As the pages go on however we begin to identify more familiar emotions, she's lonely, desperately lonely. She's been raised in the care system and with no understanding of affection or parental love. She's had nobody show her any interest and thus has been happy to blend into the background. Her only contact with her family is her weekly phone calls from her ‘mummy' who we learn is a complex and at times vile creature.

The beautiful story in Gail Honeyman's novel is a joy to read, Eleanor slowly forms a friendship with her co-worker Raymond when they see an old man collapse in the street and find themselves visiting him in the hospital together. The care and patience with which Raymond pulls Eleanor our of her shell and helps her to explore the world around her is beautiful and is one of the most heartwarming stories I've ever read. The way in which Eleanor begins to realise that her lonely existence may not be all the world has to offer her and that perhaps she can find people who could care about her is an absolute joy to read. It is heartbreaking when we delve beneath the veneer of Eleanor's world to her childhood and her experiences that led her to shut herself away from the world. We want to take her in our arms and shelter her and to make things okay for her.

This book was the Costa Award winner of 2017 for a debut novel and it is absolutely worthy of every plaudit and great review it has received. Touching, emotional and truly unforgettable Eleanor Oliphant is a heroine of our age, the Bridget Jones of the millennium she is funny and honest and strong and yet fragile and vulnerable. Gail Honeyman is an author whose debut has promised a bright future and I'm sure like many anxious readers I'm not alone in eagerly awaiting whatever she may release next.

Couldn't decide btwn 3.5 & 4.

Could not put it down. Very well written.

Hard to put down. Many relatable aspects, new words learnt, quickest read in years.

3.5

So intense. So enjoyable.

I didn't see that end coming— I think that's good. This had good character development and I almost thought I would give it a 5 star. Most of my life I really wish I can be as unaffected as Eleanor is, she's such an inspiration on how we should deal with other people. Also her relationship with Raymond; it was refreshing to read something that does not end with hogging.