Dirty Laundry

Review to come as soon as I chill. Too much floaty goodness right now.

Okay ... I've settled down cracks fingers ... who am I kidding? This is going to be all over the place.

For starters it's clear that I've been doing my laundry in the wrong place or at least at the wrong time. Adam Ellery is an entomology grad student with more than your average problems. He has a cocktail of anxieties, neurosis, phobias, and OCD that do their best to rule his life and yet this wonderful nerd, pushes himself everyday just to get out the door. And he does. I Love Him.

On his latest foray into independence, douchebag frat boys decide to make him their “fun” for the night, however they didn't count on Denver Rogers. Denver who is a real cowboy and doesn't suffer fools or bullies of any stripe: ”Not handsome. Not in the let-me-jack-off-you cowboy porn mag way, at any rate. He wasn't ugly, but he didn't have a marble jaw or anything, and he wasn't magazine slick, not even close. But muscles? Oh yeah.”
Imagine that. A non-Adonis as a Romance MC. At this point I was already swoony over Denver, but the real star of this story, as he should be, is Adam. Adam who is brave in spite of his fears and gives himself to Denver when every cell in his brain is screaming danger. He's in good hands.

It turns out that our Adam has more than a liking for kink, in his case a bit of rough, some humiliation, some exhibitionism, a little bondage, some spanking, and a lot of submission. Luckily Denver is able and willing to give him what he needs. I use the word need on purpose. I'm leery of books that propose the use of BDSM as a cure all, a variant on magic peen. Here that's not the case at all. Adam enjoys his play with Denver, and the submission allows him to turn off his mind and be free, even if just momentarily, of his fears and anxieties, but he is no way cured and Adam knows this. Perhaps one of my favorite things is how he's always questioning what he's doing and how it affects him and Denver too. But he's still seeing a therapist and taking his medications. He's not cured nor will he ever be. OCD is something to be lived with. Forever. Luckily he won't be alone.

Denver is a bouncer at Lights Out, the bar owned by Jason Davis, from Where Nerves End, but despite his outward appearance of invulnerability, he has his own Achilles heel which prevents him from moving on. Luckily he met “a debauched nerd” willing to help him. And Denver is gone for Adam pretty much from the get go. Here he is when Adam shows up at the bar wearing contacts and looking sexy:

“He loved the way Adam felt in his hands, so slight and frail he could break him in two, but at the same time strong, his muscles resisting and fighting before relenting to Denver's touch. He missed the glasses, though.He loved everything about Adam, to be honest.

“Adam went pliant, moving as Denver directed, going soft for him, giving everything to him not just because it was a relief but because it was right. Not a distraction. Not therapy. Giving himself to Denver, obeying Denver –being with Denver wasn't codependency, and it wasn't a crutch. It was coming home.”OR“It was the way Denver undressed Adam, like he was a present Denver couldn't believe he was getting. It was the way Denver held onto Adam's naked hips and stroked his skin like he was velvet, a precious commodity he'd never thought to hold in his hands.”

This Heidi Cullinan story was a total HIT for me in the vein of Sleigh Ride and Iggy Toma hit it out of the park. It will be a re-read for sure.

Icing on this cake of goodness was visiting with El & Paul, who are living their imperfect HEA as adorable as ever. I also loved Louisa, Adam's friend and a woman after my own heart. I'll be saying nothing about Brad, Adam's ex, because I'd have to fight Denver and Louisa to smack him silly. Ugh.

Go and enjoy time in Adam's head. He's good company and you'll definitely at least get some contact high from his encounters with Denver. joy

This is a really awesome m/m read because it dealt with a lot of mental health and psychological issues in a really healthy and informative way. The last few chapters really taught me a lot about mental health issues, especially anxiety which I would like to learn more about. Obviously this book was about Adam and Denver's relationship but it was mostly about how they dealt with each other's dirty laundry and that's what kept me reading.