Big Man

this book could've been a 3.5, maybe even 4 star book if it wasn't such a fatphobic, transphobic mess.

the word fat or some variation of it (i.e. fatso) is used 142 times. in a 210 page book. so essentially one mention on almost every page. the readers are left with the impression that max, the 15 year old protagonist of the book, is bullied because of his weight. sure, that's some of it, but his own self-loathing surrounding his weight has unknowingly for him made him a target, and he's just ended up accepting it.

after another incident where he ends up in the hospital, his parents (but mostly his stepmum-to-be donna) sign him up for private muay thai sessions to gain confidence and face his bullies. if he loses some weight too then great but it's more about facing the bullies. not that max initially seems to understand this, and his apathy towards how he perceives himself definitely makes this book hard to read.

once he joins the gym however, the story really starts. there he meets cian, who far away looks like a boy, but no they're a girl because they look like one, but no they're a boy. max just can't wrap his head around cian being trans to begin with which is just....not what i want to read. then there's some really strange language/dialogue where cian is all ‘i have the plumbing of a girl/if you got me naked i'd look like a girl' which again is....insensitive to say the least. i just would have expected his identity to have been handled a little differently, especially by a trans author.

it starts being a little less offensive about half way through in regards to max being a lil less fatphobic/transphobic, but don't worry because there are other characters who'll be able to deliver on everything that max isn't anymore.

i think a book can still include elements of bullying and its effects without using language that is frankly quite gross. yes, the book ends in a good place, but i don't particularly want to read about how a trans guy is going to be raped so they'll be a girl again y'know?

TRIGGER WARNING FOR BULLYING, FAT SHAMING, TRANSPHOBIA, HOMOPHOBIA, AND SLIGHT GORE

It is so much more than the blurb or the summary even tells you. The meaning of the book was really impactful and I think everybody should read it. It is about a young man who comes to accept himself as he is and stand up to bullies while also figuring out his sexuality and his future. It wasn't just about a kid who loses weight and accepts himself. He learned to accept himself that he is a big man, not a fat one. This novel had a ton of LGBT rep. His mother is bisexual and is dating a woman, there is a trans character and a gay romance. There is also amazing parent figures in this novel and I really really enjoy that because that is hard to find in YA. I never felt like the way the author wrote the fatness of the main character was offensive. People do truly see themselves that way and I find it accurate. The pacing of this story was very good and I was never bored. The writing was pretty good. It was simple but not too simple. I enjoyed the other details that were put into it like the Navy is mentioned a lot. The only thing that may deter some people from this novel is that is was a lot more sexual than most YA books I've ever read but it wasn't too graphic but still very surprising and is mentioned a lot. Overall this book is a 4/5 stars for me and I would highly recommend everybody to read it just to get a different perspective.