Becoming Free Indeed

Didn't expect it to be basically a sermon lol my b

ok ok I'm not SUPER informed on the Duggars, I never watched their show or anything, but I watched the Shiny Happy People documentary and saw this book and decided to check it out, and it was a little jarring bc Jinger here wants to speak out against Gothard but NOT her family (and barely addresses the Josh sexual assault situation and over and over says how great and supportive her parents were, which..........)

ANYWAY so for me, looking to kind of rubberneck at their situation, this wasn't really the book for me and I ended up skimming a lot of it, because a lot of it is just like...Bible study. I think folks who are Christians and maybe specifically grew up with the Basic Life Principles thing, would get more out of this.

This Libby audiobook came in for me as I eagerly await Shiny Happy People's release. God's timing, I tell you.

This review will be obnoxiously long (even more than usual), as I have been fascinated by the Quiverfull movement for well over a decade. I watched a lot of the Duggars on TLC, and grew especially interested when several of the older daughters (who arguably bore the brunt of childrearing) started getting married, their ticket to leaving home.

With that many children, it's easy for siblings to blur together. But Jinger has always stood out to fans. Not just because of her name (why), but also because she loves coffee and city life and fashion. People watching the show have long hoped she would wrestle her way out of a lifestyle that stifled her interests and personality.

Well, this book is not that. Though she wears jeans now, Jinger makes sure to distinguish her journey from deconstruction—a term describing interrogation of past religious convictions. Deconstruction does not have one set outcome (e.g., becoming an atheist), but Jinger is nevertheless careful to distance herself from the term. Towards the end she suggests that stepping away from your faith is the “easy route” (laughs in ex-Mormon), so there we have it.

Instead, this is basically a drawn out testimony sprinkled with critiques of Bill Gothard, a vile man whose grave I look forward to dancing on. I would argue it's also the no true Scotsman fallacy stretched across 200+ pages, wherein Jinger repeatedly argues This Christianity is bad and dangerous, but That Christianity is undeniably right and true and good, which is exactly how she described This Christianity a little bit ago. At one point she says of Jesus, “I would be happy to be his slave,” and I didn't like that.

What's especially puzzling are the attempts to separate how she feels about Gothard/IBLP from her loved ones. She was introduced to Gothard's dangerous ideas by her parents, but insists her parents were discerning enough to push back against his most pernicious views and provided a loving, supportive home life. Her husband showed her the error of Gothard's ways, but really all he was doing was encouraging her to think for herself.

Jeremy tells Jinger she's not a Stepford wife (a reference predictably lost on her), but I wonder if they would have ever married if she didn't agree with his view of Bill Gothard. Is it fair to describe that as simply encouraging critical thinking? Plus, how can anyone know whether she was receptive to Jeremy's differing view of IBLP precisely because both her parents and Gothard taught her to view men as authority figures? I don't know, I'm not feeling as disentangled as she is.

At the same time, I don't want to minimize that Jinger was filmed from early childhood through her daughters' early childhood. She talks about how filming exposed her to freeing opportunities and relationships, while also taking over her life in a way she deliberately wants to protect her own children from. The line about “filming people who didn't watch television” was great.

Bill Gothard's view of faith is basically sexually predatory manufactured OCD. Jinger opens up about her superstitions around basic aspects of day-to-day life like food and clothing. She talks about someone stealing her teenage diary to sell it for six figures on eBay, only to return it after realizing how boring and squeaky clean it was. Even while journaling, she held back and was careful about how she presented herself. Where can a teenage girl be herself if not in the pages of her diary?

I suppose I am rating this more kindly than other books. Maybe I'm as naive as Jinger, but I think boldness and bravery is relative. Something that underwhelmed me (so much zoning out during Bible verses) can still be a big step for someone else. I can't say I'm impressed, but I also can't say I expected to be.

Very sanitized. Maybe would've been better as a forward in a Bible study but definitely doesn't read like a memoir.

I also want to add that I read this book at a very interesting time in my life as I am lightly “dis-entangling” from the Calvinist and Baptist pastors she keeps quoting in this book. I still stand that this book doesn't really feel complete and I predict that there will be more from her.