Bad Feminist

Sorry I missed the night my book club discussed this one!

My last finished book of 2023.

I think I've read too many books with people who talk about still liking content that they know is kinda sorta problematic but at the time where this book came out it was something that we needed to take a minute to think about. I remember the peak era of call out feminism and there's definitely a few things I would have liked to have seen enter the discourse back then.

There's a segment about trigger warnings which I found somewhat tedious and that's where my reading notes ended.

Ultimately it wasn't an unpleasant read (Gay has an engaging writing style and there's a great flow to the book) and there were definitely interesting moments and quotable lines but it was so largely about pop culture and aged that it ended up being a mostly just okay read. I agree with Gay that maxi dresses are the best though.

3.25-5/5 rounded down.

this is a not a novel about feminism like i expected it to be, and the funniest part is the few essays about gay's opinions on feminism at the beginning and ending of the book are most of the reason this is getting one star. i almost dnf'd this at like the 20% mark (the essay about scrabble had me so close to finally giving up) but it was fine enough background noise through my day that i finished it anyway. this book is peak choice feminism. a woman who chooses to do things does not make what she's choosing to do feminism just because she's a woman and she chose to do it. i disagree with gay's entire understanding of feminism: that it is about being equal with men rather than women's liberation. the last two essays here are abhorrently, laugh out loud bad... as in i actually laughed multiple times in disbelief. roxane gay is embarrassed because she enjoys rap music, fashion, and the color pink. she is mortified because she has opinions on maxi dresses and shaves her legs. these things, according to her and the titular Perfect Feminist she's constructed in her mind that she consistently defers to, make her a Bad Feminist. please be fucking real. palatable, meaningless, wishy-washy, pandering. buzzfeed feminism if you will. spend your time on something actually worthwhile instead of this shit

I think I would have liked this book a lot better if I had read it between 2014-2016. Although I did start it at some point then and couldn't get into it. Some of the essays are very good, and others are just things I've read before, or just not that interesting.

Dit is een boek die door iemand geschreven is die gewoon boos is. Ergens wel begrijpelijk.
Niet helemaal meer van deze tijd, komt ook uit 2014 volgens mij, en er is sinds toen nog al wat verandert op de gebieden waar Roxane over spreekt.

Sommige essay's zijn super goed, en sommige zijn gewoon bagger slecht. Een typische collectie van essay's die gewoon een top of een flop zijn. Deze vrouw is mega intelligent en kan overal wel doorheen prikken. Ze is ook super alert van haar eigen denken en doen (althans dat schrijft ze en als we haar real-life scenario's mogen geloven) en dat is nog altijd iets wat we vandaag nog altijd nodig hebben.

Ook al zijn sommige essay's zo slecht, toch raad ik iedereen aan om dit boek te lezen.

It's interesting, looking at how polarizing this book is. So many people really didn't enjoy it, and I guess it may not be for everyone, but I really thought this was an exceptionally good read. I just recently read Hunger, Gay's memoir, and found this book full of the same blunt honesty, strong summarization, and social commentary that that book contained. I think Gay is a fantastic author and look forward to reading more from her.

I really appreciated a lot of the observations Roxane Gay makes in this book. She is particularly adept at being critical while acknowledging her own involvement in problematic topics (for example, she critiques music, movies, and TV shows while sharing her own enjoyment of them). This book made me think a lot – about topics I'd never considered before as well as about issues on which I disagree with Gay. I will say that I'm not a huge fan of essay collections, so while I found the writing interesting, it was often hard for me to stay engaged (but I think that's a very specific personal preference and not necessarily a problem with the book).

Solid 4 stars. It wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but it was informative and thought provoking mixed with pop culture and tv series/movies analysis.

I had a really hard time getting into this book, but after I accepted that this book discussed a lot of subjects that weren't merely about feminism, it read way better.

A collection of essay that is nuanced yet easy to understand, drawn from everyday life and pop culture. I love how Gay writes and some questions constantly makes you think by provoking the obvious. I created so many highlights while reading this. I look forward to reading more of her work!

i really really enjoyed this book. it's a challenging/thought-provoking read, and i'll be sure to revisit it.

3.75**

I think about this book in the same way Gay describes Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, “competently written, blandly interesting, and it does repeat a great deal of familiar research.” But with a lot more pop culture thrown in to provide some levity.

I don't understand her last essay about being a ‘bad feminist'. While I do think there are ways that women could behave in a way that doesn't advocate for the feminist cause, I just don't call them feminists. Everything that Gay outlined in her last essay about being a bad feminist are things she personally likes that she thinks others (the ‘good feminists') would judge her for having. Maybe this labels me as a ‘bad feminist' too, but none of the things she list make me think that she's doing anything wrong or against the ‘feminist' way. Who cares if her favorite color is pink? Who doesn't want to be independent while also being taken care of? Who doesn't like the feel of a shaved calf? What does any of this have to do with being a ‘good or bad feminist'?

Feminism to me is about equal rights for men and women. It's a movement to create a world where women have the same rights afforded to men. It's a movement that advocates for women's health and procreation rights. It's about accepting the different struggles women from all cultures and ethnicities and fighting for their right to live and strive for what they want out of life.

What does not liking pink have to do with being a good feminist? (Personally I love pink. While I also thought that it was probably a color that wouldn't suit me (primarily because I was introduced to it as many others were, as a ‘girly' and therefore inferior, color) I've come to find that I enjoy it very much. How does this make me a bad feminist?)

I agreed with parts and disagreed with others. But it was important to listen to it. I'm glad I heard a voice different than mine.

My absolute favorite part of this book was the section on politics, gender and race and back to me

A collection of essays about pop culture, feminism, race and so on. The Finnish edition is couple of essays shorter than the US edition, which was fine – none of the topics felt particularly unfamiliar, I knew what she was talking about. She's funny, sharp and generally quite interesting.

Did I learn something new? I'm not sure. Did the book rub the poor state of things for women and people of color in the US in my face, repeatedly? Yes, and for good reason, I suppose. I've never understood the attack on women's reproductive freedoms in the US; it makes zero sense to me that a bunch of men want to control all the things that relate to sexual health of women. Fortunately it's not as bad in Finland, even though there's plenty of misogyny in the structures here as well, making this a necessary book.

A series of short (2-3 page) essays, mostly concerning low- and middle-brow culture and the patriarchy. I didn't connect with it, really, which was a bummer - I always try to have a fem book in circulation, mostly to inspire the pure femrage in me, so that I may Fight the Good Fight another day.

Gay opens and closes the book with a kinda defensive meta critique of how she feels like a “bad feminist” because she doesn't do xyz stereotypical feminist stuff (shaving legs, man hating, etc) - even while, at the same time, acknowledging that that trope is a lie and just damaging to women - and then defending her tastes in low- and middlebrow culture. First, mixing culture up and down the class spectrum is awesome and great and everyone should do it, and why should anyone waste time explaining it? Evidence: PBS Idea Channel is great! Evidence: my movie blog (which featured lengthy think-pieces of trash) is great! ( I kid, Nayak is not trash, it's great.)

Also, ugh, I honestly do not care about lengthy meta discussions of feminist apologism: “I'm not a feminist, BUT...” or “Some women don't call themselves ‘feminists' but...”. If some fancy celebrity women find the word “feminist” too edgy for them, yes, it speaks poorly to our brainwashed patriarchal world, but I also couldn't care less. I'm a feminist (duh) and I expect everyone I meet, men and women, to be feminists too, and if I meet people who are weird about calling themselves feminists, I just conclude that they have recently landed here from some retrograde planet and I'm happy to wait for them to catch up. Maybe that's cuz I live in a blue bubble. But I just get super impatient with Fraught Meta-Feminism.

Anyway, most of the essays were just too short to be really enlightening. They were mostly discussions about intersectional oppression (tangential: “What have you done today for the LGBTQ community and Black Lives Matter? Nothing, Grandma, you've done nothing.”) through the prism of early 2010s pop culture and politics. Like many things written before Trump was elected president, it felt immediately outdated - like I was looking at a world through the looking glass. Goodbye, Obama years! So long!

Some of the essays were a bit enlightening (the Tyler Perry critique was v. interesting, but mostly cuz I haven't seen any Tyler Perry movies so it was all news to me), but some felt - I dunno, superficial and bloggy fluff. For example, Gay discusses the whole “coming out of the closet” celebrity stuff, and how meaningful it was when Frank Ocean came out (back in 2012?). She wonders whether his career will suffer - a nice feeling, then, given his last album was super-lauded. But then she - like many folks, I guess? - notes the seeming contradictory-ness of Frank Ocean and his association with Tyler the Creator and the Odd Future gang, since the latter's lyrics are - GODDAMN - so homophobic sometimes. She basically concludes by being like, “Tyler's an asshole, etc etc”. End of essay.

BUT! I think there's so much more to explore and so much more to ask the Odd Future kids about, and I think it speaks to a generational divide that's interesting: because they're just a bunch of like super young Millennials (and hooo boy do I feel old these days), and I think the lines are changing, and I don't think I totally understand it but maybe the f-word (homophobic slur) is being reclaimed?! Because, yes, Tyler the Creator and Earl Sweatshirt's lyrics are aarghhh so gratingly offensive sometimes, yet Frank Ocean and Syd tha Kid are also openly and totally “normalized”-y black queer hip hop/R&B artists. I just think Roxane Gay and I are both 30something women who don't understand what these kids are up to, and might be reacting with the 21st century version of respectability politics (“gasp, you must never say that awful word!”)? I dunno. But the essay definitely ends too soon! Yeah, so I dunno. Here's some music.

I listened to this book on an audiobook from my library. I don't know much about Roxane Gay, but I must admit I went into this expecting something similar to Yes Means Yes, which I liked but was hotly, fiercely written and chock full of rather tiresome rhetorical questions related to feminism. Bad Feminist surprised me in how gently and wisely it was written. It isn't just a book about Gay's insights on feminist topics; it is also about her forays in competitive Scrabble and her first year as a college professor. Interwoven through these stories are her opinions on race and gender issues. She has attitude, but is not hard to swallow. She has personality and a distinct voice. I liked this book a lot.

I've liked her essays before, so was interested in longer form, but many are surface tv/movie reviews. Did appreciate the essays when she dug deeper into real problems like rape culture and intersectional inequalities. Those gave me something to chew on, but those were only about 30% of the essays.

I skimmed and skipped a lot of those book (only 1 or 2 chapters, but that's a lot for a devoted completionist like me). There was a lot of descriptions of other people's works of art, pages of it, including plots of books, movies, and a long description of an art museum exhibit the author had visited, which I didn't find particularly enthralling.

She has some interesting opinions but a collection of essays like this can't help but give you the impression that the author hates everything they read/watch, and there are no good examples of diversity or representation in this world. She gives no “good” examples or ways to improve on diversity/representation, so I just found the book frustrating. Even then something which strives to have a diverse cast, oitnb, she makes fun of for being too excited about having a diverse cast. I don't know what she wants from me.

The first thing I remember reading by Roxane Gay was “What We Hunger For” on The Rumpus. What I so admire about that essay, and so much else that Gay writes, is the way she complicates a love and devotion for something like The Hunger Games and connects it to something very real and deeply personal. That essay exploded my idea of what a pop culture essay could do, and the rest of the essays in Bad Feminist follow suit. Another highlight in Bad Feminist for me included the essay on women's reproductive rights and access to abortion and contraception. I found myself throughout the essay thinking, “YES!” and then staring angrily into space, mentally ranting in agreement with whatever she was saying. Throughout this book, she says so many things I've thought but never thought to say out loud. She doesn't shy away from sorting through and acknowledging complexity that is so often glossed over and simplified for a lot of folks. I could go on and on about all the things I admire about this book, but I'll stop and just say: please read it all the way through. And then read it again. I know I will.

Unrelated note: I'm glad Goodreads is reminding me that it's taken me over a year to finish this book.

This might be my favorite book this year even though it's only January. And that's saying A LOT. I generally don't like non-fiction books like these. I always feel like they're preaching to me, but a couple of chapters in Roxane Gay was speaking Sweet Valley High to me. SWEET. VALLEY. HIGH. I was hooked.

She felt the same way I do about most thing and I learned things I wasn't expecting to. I loved that she stands up for everyone, not just the women, not just the people of color. I love that she is flawed and she has feelings/ideas that don't coincide with the complete ‘feminist ideals'. I loved every little bit of this book!

This collection of essays was truly amazing. It bothered me, in the way that we should be bothered. It made me rethink some of my long held views and gave me a vocabulary to articulate some of my new ones. I love her perspective on everything from politics, to media, and of course to the idea that we cannot be perfect feminists and that is okay. Loved it all around. A must read for feminists or feminist-curious readers.

I got my copy from the library.

I was less than two pages into the introduction when I realized that I needed to own this book. I'm going to go buy a copy soon. And then I'm probably going to put it on my husband's nightstand for him to read, as I occasionally do with books that I love that I think he will enjoy.

There are enjoyable and funny parts of this book, yes, but I am not sharing it because I think he will enjoy it. I have no expectation that he will enjoy it, because there are parts that are heavy, and heartbreaking, and raw, and painful to read. But I have to share it because it's important, and because I was nodding my head to many of Roxane Gay's thoughts, and because I need my partner to understand things about me that sometimes I can only say in shouty rage.

This book was brilliant. I want to share it with everyone. I wish I could afford to get copies for everyone I know.

I'm usually not all about universal reading experiences. I have read and loved a lot of books that I know other people didn't enjoy, and I have been recommended books that haven't been my cup of tea. But I think this is one of those few books that I think everyone should read, whether or not you consider yourself a feminist. Women and men.

I now get why Gay's Bad Feminist was such a popular choice for a Christmas present.
You get the feeling, while reading her essays, that if only people read them too then we can all clearly see what's wrong with the world and together find a solution to all our society's problems (well, the ones that come from bigotry at least).
You just feel the need to spread the word, and I guess that's what I'm doing here.

Plus, the book contains the most entertaining and revealing essay about the harsh realities of Scrabble tournaments, definitely a must.