All I Love and Know

Judith Frank

2014 • 422 pages

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Told with the storytelling power and emotional fidelity of Wally Lamb, this is a searing drama of a modern American family on the brink of dissolution, one that explores adoption, gay marriage, and love lost and found. For years, Matthew Greene and Daniel Rosen have enjoyed a quiet domestic life together in Northampton, Massachusetts. Opposites in many ways, they have grown together and made their relationship work. But when they learn that Daniel’s twin brother and sister-in-law have been killed in a bombing in Jerusalem, their lives are suddenly, utterly transformed. In dealing with their families and the need to make a decision about who will raise the deceased couple’s two children, both Matthew and Daniel are confronted with challenges that strike at the very heart of their relationship. What is Matthew’s place in an extended family that does not completely accept him or the commitment he and Daniel have made? How do Daniel’s questions about his identity as a Jewish man affect his life as a gay American? Tensions only intensify when they learn that the deceased parents wanted Matthew and Daniel to adopt the children—six-year-old Gal, and baby Noam. The impact this instant new family has on Matthew, Daniel, and their relationship is subtle and heartbreaking, yet not without glimmers of hope. They must learn to reinvent and redefine their bond in profound, sometimes painful ways. What kind of parents can these two men really be? How does a family become strong enough to stay together and endure? And are there limits to honesty or commitment—or love?

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Susan Scribner

If Jodi Picoult were a Jewish lesbian, she might have written All I Love and Know, which packs multiple issues into a well-written story of love, gay rights, parenting, and the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. I had a little trouble with the author's frequent head-hopping; the POV shifts quickly and without warning, sometimes several times on the same page. But I was engrossed by the portrayal of characters thrust into a situation they never expected and are woefully unprepared to confront. Of the two gay men who suddenly become parents, Matt is the more sympathetic one, even if he is a tad narcissistic and makes some ill-advised choices. Daniel is wracked with grief at the loss of his twin brother, but he is such a prick to Matt for so long that he almost completely lost my sympathy. But my heart completely went out to six year old Gal, who barely has the words or emotional capacity to deal with the loss of both of her parents and a move to a different continent. Frank does a great job of showing how, over the course of one year, she gradually starts to heal.

The Holocaust survivor Israeli grandparents (wouldn't they be too old to have been the parents to Daniel's sister-in-law Ilana?) and the clingy American grandparents are slightly stereotypical but are given a few moments to show they are real human beings coping with tragedy as best they can.

The author presents both sides of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, but her strong liberal politics and pro-Palestinian stance may upset some readers.

All in all, an engrossing and powerful read. Highly recommended.

October 17, 2014