Ace

This was very informative, insightful and eye-opening!
This book also helped me learn about asexuality and its versatility and also question the very concept of sex. I highly recommend it!

I will hack Goodreads so I can give this book six stars. And yet, I don't even know how to summarize it well.

As a library worker who's put together more than one Pride display, pickings are slim for the ace/aro spectrum, to say the least. This is complicated further by the fact that while some nonfiction topics are relatively static, gender and sexuality evolve rapidly. I was delighted to see this and [b:How to Be Ace|54403237|How to Be Ace A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual|Rebecca Burgess|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1602700467l/54403237.SX50.jpg|84893786] come out in recent years, but am just getting around to reading one myself.

I went in thinking this would have a “Ace 101” feel with a lot of basics, terminology, and education. And it did have some of that, but that's only the tip of the iceberg. I am so impressed by the scope and nuance of this text.

For a book about a niche minority, its appeal and relevance are universal. Meaning, this is not only for people who already know they are—or wonder if they or someone close to them might be—ace or aro. It can be about that, and I don't want to diminish that at all. But what I learned most of all is that taking the time and making the effort to understand asexuality can help everyone progress towards open communication about desire and intimacy.

Suffice it to say, this was a really eye-opening and compelling listen (and I quite liked the audiobook narrator, too!), which is probably obvious by this long and varied list of books it reminded me of at different points: [b:The New Jim Crow|6792458|The New Jim Crow Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness|Michelle Alexander|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1328751532l/6792458.SX50.jpg|6996712], [b:How to Be an Antiracist|40265832|How to Be an Antiracist|Ibram X. Kendi|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1560163756l/40265832.SY75.jpg|62549152], [b:Hood Feminism|36687229|Hood Feminism Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot|Mikki Kendall|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1577489813l/36687229.SY75.jpg|58481445], [b:Killing the Black Body|229445|Killing the Black Body Race, Reproduction, and the Meaning of Liberty|Dorothy Roberts|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1388801372l/229445.SY75.jpg|222199], [b:Reproductive Rights and Wrongs|29633769|Reproductive Rights and Wrongs The Global Politics of Population Control|Betsy Hartmann|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1470694935l/29633769.SX50.jpg|1273040], [b:Not All Dead White Men|38240525|Not All Dead White Men Classics and Misogyny in the Digital Age|Donna Zuckerberg|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1524483798l/38240525.SY75.jpg|59922909], and [b:The State of Affairs|34017010|The State of Affairs Rethinking Infidelity|Esther Perel|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1495687620l/34017010.SY75.jpg|55014433].

DNF at 61% because my hold lapsed and I don't feel like going out of my way to try to get it again. There is some great stuff in here, but there is also a lot of the author acting like their experiences are universal or that their POV is fact. There were some dunks on polyamory for some reason and a lot of implications that polyamory is pushed on people – when it is in fact another oppressed orientation both socially and legally. I know there are some toxic polyamorous people but there are also toxic ace people and toxic straight people and and and etc.

One minor thing I noticed was a lack of editing/proper research. For instance, Chen refers to ‘Dr. Who' as a potentially ace character. The show is called ‘Doctor Who' and the character is called ‘the Doctor.' Dr. Who is no one and nothing. This is one small slip-up, but seeing something that could be so easily corrected in a non-fiction book automatically puts me off and makes me wonder where else there may be incorrect information.

I think this book is probably good for folks who know nothing about asexuality, but as a polyamorous demisexual/demiromantic person I was not very impressed.