Accepting the Fall

I liked this book, but didn't love it, in no small part because my tolerance for bratty children is below zero percent. I absolutely loathed Zander's daughter, Savannah, for being an undisciplined brat and often judged Zander for never once taking away her toys/cartoons/dessert or otherwise attempting to discipline her for behaving so poorly.

That said, it was realistic. Savannah's mix of sweet moments and hellish, manipulative behaviour felt very real. Zander's excess leniency based on wanting to avoid becoming his own, emotionally abusive dad made sense. Just because I disliked reading a child be so ill-behaved doesn't mean she didn't fit in the story or that she didn't make sense. This is just a me-problem, same as being deeply annoyed by Cole's meddling mother - who, thankfully, has a much smaller role and actually had some redeemable moments.

These things did interfere with my enjoyment, though never to a degree where I felt like I wanted to quit reading or wasn't liking the story. But if Cole's mom had been brought in differently and Savannah's attitude severely dialed back, I definitely would have given this one an extra star.

Cole and Zander, on the other hand, were absolutely intriguing and engaging. Zander is the former Marine turned firefighter - and the guy on the cover, fyi - who struggles to parent a child he'd never known existed and never wanted until the girl's piece of trash mom abandoned her on his doorstep so she could live the life of a single woman with no child. Cole is the kindergarten teacher of said child, Savannah, who I've already mentioned is an absolute menace. It's her behaviour issues which bring Cole and Zander together... again.

With heavy emotional baggage from the past between them, things get off to a rocky start. Zander fled from a serious relationship in their past, shattering Cole's heart, because he couldn't handle the idea of being attached or coming out in front of his father. Cole never fully picked up the pieces of his first intense heartbreak. And, surprise, they're both hot and both harbouring old feelings and both completley unsure how to navigate the treacherous waters of their past while being forced to interact in the present... Or how to handle maybe wanting to interact when it isn't required.

Did I mention Cole already has a boyfriend when Zander wanders back into his life? Because he does, and I found myself worrying there'd be some obnoxious cheating element or a toxic love triangle. But there isn't! I cannot put into words how happy it makes me to see those nasty tropes be relegated to the trash where they belong!

I especially appreciated the way Cole's renewed feelings for Zander led him to make a choice with regards to his current boyfriend instead of leading him to cheat. And the fact Patrick (the initial boyfriend) had the guts to tell him to save the ‘we can be friends' nonsense? chef's kiss It felt so realistic, including the realization that Cole was still craving the kind of raw intensity he'd had in the past but didn't have in his current relationship. And Cole actually felt guilty! It wasn't like he didn't love Patrick and wanted to rush through throwing him away; he knew it was wrong to stay together when he felt a stronger emotion for someone else and he didn't want to string Patrick along like a jerk.

Cole's zoo of animals he rescued was a fun addition, as well, but keeping up with which animal was which got confusing at times. I know he was closest to Cheshire the cat and Thor the dog, but I couldn't describe them. And I know he had plenty of horses, goats, and even a pig but all I know is that the pig's name was Arthur. There was a cat named Loki who I think had green eyes and a dog whose name I forgot who was kind of cute. I really wish the interactions and distinctions there had been developed better, because some were adorable and there was a lot of missed potential to truly rack up the cuteness points.

I also wish more had been told about Cole's past hospital experience. What's told is that he and a guy he'd been walking with were attacked. It was apparently bad enough he was in a coma for a long while and had gaps in his memory. Toward the end, Zander asks about scars on his back, but Cole says he won't talk about it until later. Then they instantly get frisky. I'd originally assumed he survived a hate crime that left him for dead, or possibly even a sexual assault, but instantly jumping to sexytimes after thinking of either feels tonally off. So maybe it was just a random mugging..? We'll never know, and that annoys me. I'm not a fan of unanswered questions when the situations are hinted at and mentioned multiple times.

The tension between Zander and Cole was sometimes cute and sometimes frustrating, but not in a bad way. I thought it was interesting to see Zander slowly come out of a shell he'd been forced into when he was younger - to truly be himself without limitations. Cole was also realistically cautious and I loved seeing him set boundaries early in the relationship, not wanting to fall too fast and get hurt again. Savannah's approval of Cole felt... convenient more than organic, but I could see where the author was aiming even if she missed the mark. There was a depth missing to Savannah which was clearly intended to exist. She liked her teacher but didn't show it until she was afraid he'd go away, basically.

I feel like I'm rambling. It's always difficult to articulate things about a book I primarily enjoyed, and I always worry the few gripes I have end up making it seem like I hated the book.

So... what's left to discuss? I guess the overall writing quality.

I'll admit: I skimmed the smutty scenes. They didn't feel overly engaging to me - far too wordy, actually, with wording choices that made me giggle-cringe. (Please, authors everywhere, stop referring to anything other than crying or the draining of a pus-filled wound as weeping. I beg y'all.) The rest of the writing, however, was engaging - albeit in need of an editor. There were quite a few homonym mix-ups and accidental possessives where there should have been plurals, but only one stalled the reading flow. I can't even remember what it was, so it can't have been that egregious. I would have preferred flashbacks be denoted in a way which didn't involve large swathes of italicized text, but that's just a personal gripe. Overall, I'd say it's well-written enough.

The epilogue was... meh. I didn't care for being thrust into a grown up Savannah's narrative. She felt mostly bland and cardboard, and only offered brief glimpses of the characters I actually cared about... having a future which felt a little too saccharine to ring true. Personally, I'd have preferred to end on the happy-for-now of the final chapter instead.

Between my issues with Savannah and Cole's mom, my annoyance at wording in the smutty bits, and my general enjoyment for the rest, I'd say this is a perfectly respectable 3.5 star book, rounded up for the cute animals and lack of cheating.

That makes it one of the good ones so far in my Read A Rainbow challenge, which is an absolute relief after the utter failure I originally picked and replaced with this book. Many thanks to Linda and Teal for the suggestions of replacement books, by the way. If I'm not mistaken, this one in particular was one of Linda's, and it was so much better than the old choice. I'm immensely grateful to both of you for encouraging a swap!