Adam

palaver (noun) :
1. unnecessarily elaborate or complex procedure
2. an improvised conference between two groups, typically those without a shared language or culture

There couldn't have been a better word to describe this story and I've come to wonder if it was built around the title.

Where do I even begin? Over the span of a few weeks where the mother and the son are together in Japan, we are told such a big part of their lives, it's hard to pick a starting point.

Notice how I said « the mother » and « the son », no names, no other qualifiers? That's how the main characters are referred to throughout the book and I have to say, I absolutely loved it. Some might hate it, but I felt like this was such a good addition to the story and the mother-son relationship. As I said before, we learn a lot about them as time passes, so much more than the fact that they are mother and son, because we learn about them as individuals, about the mother's life before the son and the son's life after he left, and what they do while both of them are in Japan. If they were real people, the first word we'd use to describe them would certainly not be their affiliation. Yet, no matter how much they have outside of each other, they are still the mother and the son. They will always be linked by these words.

There is one thing that bothered me in this book : the fact that we never actually see The Cause of the son's departure. Or if we do and I just misunderstood, it wasn't as impactful as it should have been. To me, it felt like we have the context and the aftermath but not The Cause. The catalyst for the son leaving and the two's broken relationship should have been a big thing, in my opinion.

Still, this was such a realistic and raw story. The character development and the healing shown on page is beautiful. I love family who have issues that do the work and get better. Sometimes, it takes decades to be able to forgive and to apologise, and that's okay.

The story unfolds in Tokyo, Japan. I have never been, but this book almost had me booking a flight. It is an ode to the city, punctuated by gorgeous pictures that make us even more immersed in the setting. They are much appreciated, although not necessary : the descriptions are more than enough to have us feeling like we're already there.

The city is made all the more alive by the supporting characters who accompany the son and the mother in their journey. I loved every single one of them, with their stories and their love and their kindness. Chosen family will always make me go weak in the knees and the people from Alan's bar are its very definition. Even the background characters are lovable : from the siblings of the slide to the lady who was smoking and not alright.

I read this book in one sitting, and I can't wait for it to come out so I have an excuse to do it again.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!

I longly hesitated on whether I should give this book three stars or four. Consider it a 3,5 rounded up, because I still think it is worth the read. (Edit: rounded it down to a 3 because I'm still mad three days later.)

Let's start with the good things, shall we?

First of all, this is a very fast read. Not in the sense that it is short or lacks depth and complexity, not at all. In fact, it is a pretty thought-provoking book. I mean fast in the sense that I couldn't put it down for a second. The characters and their story cling to your brain and soul and you can't shake them off, so you keep turning pages. One more chapter often turned into one more part for me. I was too invested to stop myself from reading.

That's also partly thanks to the author's amazing writing skills : I was inside the book, smelling what there was to smell, seeing what there was to see, tasting what there was to taste. That extends to the character's emotions too. I felt Anna's frustration at being trapped in a bed talking to people who didn't want to hear a word of what she had to say, felt Batul's drive to be a doctor and her fear at being unable to, and so on and so forth.

I loved Anna and Batul's relationship from the first time they met. They felt like a breath of fresh air in each other's perspectives and they both wanted the best for the other, which sounds like the bare minimum, but I feel like it's so rare to find relationships that are truly mutually beneficial and altruistic in media. Their discussions showed how interested they were in what their friend (and more) had to say.

Those conversations often contained political references, software vocabulary and medical jargon, but they were not off putting in the slightest, as they were well explained and necessary to the progress of the story, in my opinion.

All of these things are why this was at least a four-stars read for me, up until the ending.

To me, the huge time jump didn't make any sense. I didn't recognise Anna anymore and the sudden science fiction made me wrinkle my nose. It's a genre I love, just not when I'm thrown into it by force. It all felt very idealistic too, especially considering the rest of the book. Moreover, the sudden switch from Anna not letting her disability keep her from her life and dreams to suddenly getting miraculously healed and infinitely happier left a sour taste in my mouth. Why perpetuate the idea that people with disabilities cannot be truly happy?

Although maybe I'm just bitter, this didn't feel like a resolution. A shame for what I hoped I could rate five stars.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!

I really wanted to like this book, I did, but I just couldn't.

Four percent in and I already wanted to smother myself with a pillow because « For the Fans » by Nyla K. is mentioned as a pillar of queer literature or whatever, which is without a doubt the least accurate thing I've ever read. I could write a whole essay on everything wrong with that piece of trash (and I probably will) but that's not the subject here.

Anyways, that was the first strike, which admittedly, can be ignored for some people.

Second : the writing style. I understand that this was the author's first book, and that you can't master writing easily, but there's a standard to meet. This whole book was telling us what was happening and we were just supposed to believe it. Ever heard of « show, don't tell »? Insta love in general is hard to believe, so when we aren't even immersed in the character's feelings and actions, well... Gray and Colt's whole relationship in the past happens « off-screen ». We're told they get closer and that they have dates, etc, but none of those scenes are included in the book, so any development reads as very sudden and unbelievable.

In the same vein, this book was marketed as a second chance romance, yet the actual second chance represented maybe 15% of the book, and that's being generous. All the time spent in the past ends up being repetitive after we get to the breakup, especially when we get both perspectives of the same event (there are things readers can infer just from previous/future events and one character's point of view). They're miserable and there are misunderstandings, we get it, now move on. When we finally get back to the present, we only get more misunderstandings before they fuck and talk a bit and then all is well. What? Where's the second chance romance here?

Talking about quiproquos, I can't not mention how unrealistic they were. The whole « Colt is number one singer in the country and nobody knows he's married » thing was already unlikely, but him not having fired Carl years ago when he clearly hates him is ridiculous. Depression doesn't make you stupid and it certainly doesn't force you to employ a cliché Disney villain (because yes, that's how his character read : a man mean just for the sake of being mean, with no other layer or reasoning). Don't even get me started on what Grayson wanted to say at the hospital and what came out : there are virtually no chances for these exact words to be missing or present. Not everything in a story has to be one hundred percent realistic but please, try to make it at least plausible.

There's another thing that I found very odd : the random « psychoanalysis » moments and the characters reassuring themselves about their mistakes by invoking pseudo-psychology and how they needed to do something for their mental health. In theory, it's not something I hate at all, I think it's important to have open discussions and to see a therapist if you need one, but this was just handled weirdly. Mostly, those moments felt like plot devices and as such, they didn't really make me feel empathetic for the characters, especially considering I found it to be very stereotypical.

Additionally, the supporting characters felt like they revolved around the main characters. Violet is only present when it's convenient and leaves when the MCs have sex, just like that. She's a child, and Gray's borderline bad parenting of her isn't resolved. He loves her and isn't her dad, sure, but that doesn't make it all okay. At the end of the day, he chose to take care of her. Her maturity just hurt my soul : even though a child being mature isn't necessarily a bad thing, in context, it felt like she grew up too fast because of Gray. Willy randomly decided to become friends with a client because he seemed sad, psychoanalysed him and drops everything for him. All that while being told, again, that they become best friends. That always makes the MCs feel selfish to me, because friendship isn't a one-way street and that's always how we are presented things. Same goes for Remy.

Lastly, I don't know if the author is a straight woman or if she's queer, but either way, she clearly doesn't know much about gay relationships. If you're going to write about people who aren't like you, please at least do some research.

This is a very dense review with a lot of criticism, but please understand that my goal isn't to flame this author or judge anyone who enjoyed this book. It still has its good sides; it's a nice concept, though not revolutionary, and an entertaining read.

This is the only book I have ever read that I could describe as perfect. Every single word belongs and every sentence made my heart break a little bit more. How could a single story hurt so much? How do I begin to recover from it? I don't know if I ever will.

Baldwin's prose is gorgeous and his work terrifyingly thought-provoking. I am not an highlighting man but I would have highlighted this entire book had I been able to put it down long enough or to see through my tears.

A woman who progressed from scamming people by begging with her mother to giving, in her own words, “the best hand job in the tristate area”, transfers to the front of the establishment due to carpal tunnel syndrome. That means a new job for this witty con-artist who can read people like a pro : psychic. With her experience and intellect, she does well, telling people what they want to hear and twisting words until they mean both nothing and everything. Then, she meets Susan Burke, who has a psycho stepson and a house where murders happened, and the con-artist realises she's way out of her depth. She's not the only one who can lie...

I have mixed feelings about this book and it's a shame because I really liked the beginning! I thought it was a great setup and I was really invested in what was going to happen next. It's pretty rare for me to be hooked quickly, so you understand why I had high expectations.

Anyways, I was waiting for something creepy and exciting, something that griped me, you know? But it was all a bit underwhelming, which, whatever, I wouldn't have minded that much, had it not been for the ending. Oh gosh, the ending. I understand it was meant to be an ambiguous conclusion and everything, but it doesn't work for a story this short!!! Especially when done this way. This just reads like there is no resolution and I was left very unsatisfied. Although I would have liked the mindfuck if it was in the middle of a book, it really left a sour taste in my mouth.

Still, it's not all bad. I loved the voice of the narrator (though I think it was a bit lost halfway through) and there were some really great lines in there. The plot is good, if nothing crazy. Also, for a 20 minutes read, this will certainly be something I'll think about a lot! (If not for reasons I'm happy with, at least I suppose for reasons the author wanted!)

These are 3 short stories, they are easy to read and I can tell they are supposed to be sad, but I have to say they didn't leave much of an impression of me. Miss Brill, the main story of this collection, did leave me pondering some things, just not as much as I would have expected, and I have to admit that I had a hard time understanding it in the first place.

I am far from being an avid poetry reader, yet I enjoyed this collection, it was a nice change of pace. These poems were all quite moving and some had my eyes feeling a little wet but they ended up repetitive towards the end. I understand they are all about the same thing, obviously—Hardy's first wife's passing—, however i ended up thinking he didn't have many thoughts about her because he talks of her connection to the sea in a poem out of two. Still, they were all very romantic, especially considering Hardy got remarried a couple of years later and wasn't exactly the most loyal of men.

Maybe I will check out one of his novels later, I am also curious at how such romanticism in poetry can translate to naturalism in his other works.

The first part of this book is just Whitman rambling about how amazing America is, which falls more than a bit flat in the 21st century. The second is only marginally better but at least it didn't make me want to commit a crime, so it's progress, I guess? Still, it didn't really feel like poetry to me. For someone who gets called the father of free form poetry, Whitman certainly gives it a bad rep. There is no musicality, no beauty in his verses, it bored me to death.

Moreover, I didn't feel anything during most of my reads. Maybe two or three of these poems moved me, if I'm being generous. There's no substance. The best way I can think to describe this collection is that it is what a man who thinks he has uncovered the secrets of the universe even though ten years old girls had the exact same thoughts as him would write if he was a poet.

I'm giving this book 1,5 stars because it was entertaining and I absolutely adored the synopsis when I first read it but I can't in good faith rate it better than that. I just can't. First of all, I was excited to read a trans book by a trans author because I thought it would include good representation of the trans experience. Why would I not, right? Well, I was thoroughly disappointed. Absolutely none of this resonated with me and while, of course, everyone lives through different things,—it pains me to say this but it has to be said—to me, this is such a cis person's view of transgender people. Charlie is a high schooler with top surgery, hormones, a name change, presumably a gender change too if the school's administration has no idea that he's transgender (and accomplished all of that within a year, if the book is to be believed). What? In which country does he live for this to be allowed? Please do let me know, I'd love to visit. He seems to be quite dysphoric but all of those moments are depicted like him embarrassing himself, why? Also, he's so worried about transphobia if he gets discovered but there isn't a single person who reacts negatively. And I'm all for it, really, I think it's great to have stories about trans characters without them experiencing discrimination, but in this case it kind of negates the point of the story. All in all, this was cliché.Was it a conscious decision from the author to appeal to the (cisgender) masses? If that's the case, it's sad, a bit of a stab in the back to the trans community. Most likely, Powars simply wanted a world where trans people have an easier time, which I can understand, but then he shouldn't have used fear of bigotry as Charlie's reason for going stealth. More of a focus on his initial resentment towards Jasper would have done the trick and made more sense. Speaking of nonsensical, I couldn't tell you how many almost-plot-holes are in this thing... You know the kind of things that make you furrow your brows and think to yourself « But how the fuck? »? Yeah, that. It's the kind of thing that really hinders my enjoyment of a book (but some people are not too bothered by it, if that's your case, go ahead and ignore this part). If Charlie is supposed to have beat thousands of other students for this scholarship , how come he's struggling to keep up? I understand the adjustment period but after that, it should have been a breeze, considering we weren't told about any teachers hating him or anything like that. And despite being a genius, he can't write poems or love letters? On the other hand, this school had not one, but two extremely famous fifteen (sixteen?) year old poets. Again, I'd love to live in whatever country where this kind of things happen. Poets (or authors in general) don't get millions of followers, especially not when they can't post anything for six months at a time. Even more unbelievable were the characters. The main characters were bad enough, but the side characters... Simply put, the author tried to make them quirky by assigning them each one personality trait and multiplying it by a thousand. Which gets us characters from children's books, not real people. It was supposed to be funny, I suppose, but it fell flat. Finally, I don't believe that Charlie and Jasper are in love and if my mind can be changed on other things, that's one hill I will die on. Where's the chemistry? Where's the bonding, the emotional connection, the understanding, the deep discussions? I didn't even believe in the hurt leftover from their summer camp, if I'm being honest. I wanted to root for them to get together, I did, but I felt like even Charlie and Luis had more chemistry. Other reviews said it better than me but I think this was a lot of great ideas tied together with dental floss.

A poignant story which explores themes of sexuality, disability and womanhood. It is disturbing at times, which might be off putting for some, but I feel that this is an important book nonetheless. As someone who is able-bodied, this put many things into perspective for me and I suspect I am not the only one.

Outside of the themes covered, this was also genuinely fascinating, I couldn't put it down. The ending especially had my jaw drop and my mind swirl with theories. Definitely recommend!

Actual rating : 3.5 stars

This was a really sweet sapphic love story! Vivi and Lan are so obviously enamoured with each other and they take such good care of each other, I couldn't stop smiling when they were together. It was a quick, easy read, great for an afternoon reading session.

There were a few issues, namely minor plot holes (eg. Isn't Vivi supposed to be a student? She's never studying!), a pretty confusing timeline and some descriptions that were too short to be effective, but nothing major. The only thing that truly bothered me was the way Vivi felt entitled to her mom's story and was never chastised for it.

I often find that romance books which deal with food tend to focus so much on the culinary aspect that the romance is overshadowed, however, it was really well-balanced here. I was both salivating and giggling, the perfect mix!

Oh Lucy, I hate you almost as much as I understand you

As beautiful as it is devastating. I would have never believed that a mere thirty pages could make me feel this much.

I hated reading this almost as much as I loved it and that is exactly where this book’s greatness lies in. All of the characters are unbearable, starting by the narrator: June is a racist who excuses her behaviour by reminding herself that she’s a liberal, although she takes her hype from conservatives without a care in the world. She’s a jealous, troubled and two-faced woman who truly believes that she has done no wrong and that the only reason she hasn’t succeeded yet is that she is a white woman. What other solution is there than to steal her dead Chinese-American frenemy’s story and make it her own?

It is absolutely unbearable: how could someone be so deluded and ignorant? We are plunged into her perspective and keep reading more and more of the twisted lies she tells and ends up believing. To add insult to injury, June is surrounded by people who comfort her in her problematic views and defend her against those who dare question her authorship and allyship. Though maybe defend is too strong of a word, because they are all quick to abandon June once she is well and truly cancelled.

This is a callout of the publishing industry’s racism and misogyny, but also of its hypocrisy. No one is good, everyone is a shark who would throw a « friend » under a train to get a book-deal. Of course, we can’t forget about the book community and its hunger to find things that are wrong, to dissect a person or their work until it is nothing more than a grotesque imitation which they can nitpick and cut into pieces.

Truly, this was a wonderful book with a compelling story and complex, layered characters which offers a necessary criticism of the literary world.

My main issue is that we were spoon-fed every piece of information. The thinking was pre-chewed for us readers and we only had to open our mouths and swallow R. F. Kuang’s opinions. That is not to say that I don’t agree with them, simply that I believe some things should be left for readers to mull over and form their own beliefs about.

This story is one of blood and rebellion and love told in the quiet voice you use in libraries to tell tales of another time. It was beautiful and gave me, as a reader, space to think and imagine, which I really loved. There is also an interesting reflection around history and its recording while we read about Chih, the cleric listening to Rabbit telling us about the Empress of Salt and Fortune.

This was such a great read! A queer sci-fi book about two exes searching for a grandma across the Ikea-verse? Sign me up.

I finished this in less than an hour but even in such a short time I was invested in the story and its characters, who are so reliable it's almost painful. Mental health issues and the soul-sucking nature of capitalism were also (more or less) prominent themes, so obviously I was hooked.

This was a little less humourous than I was expecting, though that's not necessarily a bad thing, and the plot is a little bit all over the place, but other than that I have no complaints. I definitely recommend!

Not my thing at all. Maybe I'm just too pessimistic but I thought this was wildly unrealistic, and I feel like if the characters existed, they'd break up so fast. In what world do you fall in love with someone within two hours and stay together? Blind trust and adoration are always a recipe for disaster.

Moreover, the writing style was weird, particularly the descriptions, some of which were downright offensive (« the dwarf of a doctor » like c'mon, I get this was 2017, but still!) and maybe that's just me, but I thought the author's internalised homophobia was showing in some of the characters' opinions, which are never addressed or acknowledged as wrong.

If you love a sickly-sweet love at first sight romance with no other plot, maybe you'll like this, though.

Thank you to the publisher and to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review!

This book tries to do it all, and I think that's my main issue with it because it was really hard to follow most of the way through. It's a shame because all of the themes and genres were great, but they'd do better individually, in a story where there's enough time to properly explore and explain all of them, without overwhelming the readers. Nonetheless, I have to admit that some of it came together nicely in the end. I just don't think it was worth all of the confusion leading up to it.

Regarding the writing, although it got better as the story progressed, I found it to be, in the beginning, « telling instead of showing », or trying to avoid it by shoving the info into conversations that felt unnatural and stilted as a result. There was a lot of descriptions, which is nice because it allows the reader to be completely immersed in the book's universe, but it also tends to drown out some of the more important information, which is mentioned in the same way as the details. Also, quite a few sentences that in my opinion should have a verb had none, leading me to believe it's a conscious stylistic choice, and it just doesn't work.

There were also some plot holes and incoherences but nothing major enough to throw me off.

Now, onto the positive aspects!

First of all, because it made me so happy, the LGBTQIA+ representation is on point! Queerness and queer characters are mentioned casually (notably, a non-binary character and a lesbian maybe-relationship) and with respect, which is always so heartwarming. Of course, I'm not forgetting about the way gender euphoria and gender dysphoria were described, which I just adored. It was raw and realistic and refreshing in a world where trans rep is rare and even more rarely accurate.

I also loved the body horror—well, maybe not loved because it did his job and grossed me out, but it was fantastic. I thought it was quite original, and the descriptions made me imagine it vividly. Similarly, injuries were explained thoroughly and they had actually had consequences (not a lot, but still).

It was a nice approach to a futuristic world although some facets of it weren't as fleshed out as they could have been, but I'm holding hope that a future book will clarify some more things!

My favourite part of the book was without a doubt the ending so I'm glad I finished it. That's partly because of the unexpected “twist”, but mostly because that's when I connected most with the main (and side) character(s). They felt the most human then, I think.

I have yet to understand any of these stories. Mind-shattering and perspective-flipping tales of women who are so strange and so close to us. Amazing.

I had a hard time choosing how many stars I should rate this but in the end I decided it didn't matter as much as what I was going to write.

This book held, without a doubt, the goriest descriptions I've ever read, though I didn't find them scary, necessarily. They were too clinical for that, too detached, which I found a good thing. Surprisingly, it didn't make me doubt Louise's love for her husband, quite the contrary. His body and what it lacks don't matter nearly as much as the man itself.

I read this with a weird kind of fascination that I can only think to describe as not being able to take your eyes off a car crash and studying it with your head tilted, unable not to notice the beauty of its horror. Really, I found the prose gorgeous. Every word was cherrypicked, every sentence turned inside out to craft precise and impacting evocation.

If you are one of those people who scope out reviews before opening a book and you can stand (body) horror, I encourage you to read this. My words will make more sense to you then because this is not a book you can speak of with someone who hasn't read it. Maybe it is not even a book you can speak of with someone who has.

I'm usually not a fan of Tal Bauer's books, but I quite liked this one, it was a pleasant surprise! But... it's still Tal Bauer. So much mushiness it's hard to find the story interesting or realistic.

2.5 étoiles

Malheureusement, je ne peux pas dire avoir aimé ce livre. Le début était intéressant malgré le fait que le style d'écriture soit plus semblable à celui d'un documentaire que d'un roman. Cependant, même en avançant dans ma lecture, je n'ai pas réussi à développer d'empathie pour Alma, que j'ai trouvée égocentrique, ou développer un intérêt pour l'intrigue, qui ne commence réellement qu'une cinquantaine de pages avant la fin.

Cette fin m'a d'ailleurs semblé vraiment invraisemblable, surtout comparée au reste du roman, qui est très réaliste et terre à terre. J'ai trouvé le lien entre la décision d'Alma et sa vie personnelle très fragile et les conséquences de ses actes ridiculement minuscules, que ce soit dans sa vie professionnelle ou personnelle. Enfin, qui aurait le culot de pleurer auprès de sa fille après avoir tué son fiancé? Alma, apparemment. Et l'homme qui l'a conduit à commettre cette faute grave car elle refusait de renoncer à l'affaire ou à sa liaison est l'amour de sa vie? Mais bien sûr.

Néanmoins, en ignorant cette conclusion que je trouve désastreuse, cela reste une lecture (relativement) agréable et informative. Il était intéressant de découvrir le quotidien de ces gens auxquels on ne pense pas, qui prennent les décisions autour du terrorisme. Reste que l'on frôle l'islamophobie...

Three stars because I shed a tear, the concept of this book is genius and it was a nice, easy read.

Not more because... well, nothing much works. The characters are very cliché and they had little to no chemistry. We know they'll end up together because this is a romance book, but really I didn't see why. It all felt very unrealistic and sudden to me.

The plot is great and tension is high until the ending but the prose really has nothing special. The story is meant to be deep and all, except it just repeats that you need to live life to the fullest, making the dialogue feel stilted and unnatural in the same breath.

I was really intrigued by the concept of Death-Cast, which is a genius idea for a dystopia and science-fiction in general, but there was little world-building around it. Who created it? How does it work? What would happen if someone lived alone in a mountain, with no phone? Do they live forever? Is there really no way to avoid death? Is it possible everywhere or is there one set thing that will kill you? We know nothing of it.

One positive aspect was the point of views of side/background characters, which did bring a bit more clarity to the functioning and impact of Death-Cast. Not much, but it was better than nothing. I also really liked the intersections of Mateo and Rufus' stories with these strangers'. I'm a sucker for all the “cameos” in the book.

On another note, Mateo's death was very unexpected, which is really nice, for a change. It would have been better had it been handled in a different way, though. It fell short for me. It was supposed to be this devastating moment, yet I only cried for a second because it was so anticlimatic.

Part of this indifference probably also comes from the fact that I didn't feel very attached to the characters and that Mateo in particular annoyed me. Don't get me wrong, I'm an anxious person as well, and I don't blame him for that, but he made quite selfish demands and decisions for someone who claims to « have lived for everyone ».

I suppose my expectations were too high, considering how popular this book is and how many people found it devastating. Still, this a nice book, quick to read and intriguing.

This book cracked my heart open in the best way possible. Everything was handled with so much care, and it's so obvious how much the author loves these characters that you just can't help loving them too. I might have shed a few tears reading it, happy or sad, I couldn't tell you, I don't know myself. But the exploration of grief, self-harm and self-discovery was beautiful, as was Daya slowly opening herself up to people.

Minus 1 star because I had a hard time getting into this book at the beginning and for the sentences “This is why I don't hang out with chicks. So damn sensitive.” which really threw me out of it. Like wow, I thought Daya was grieving, not rude and sexist!

I read this book a few months ago now, so this probably won't be my most relevant review, but I adored it, honestly. It was super cute and respectful and aaaaargggg! I pretty much smiled the whole time. Worth the read for sure.

There were maybe a few things I could have done without, but nothing that deserves a warning, just pet peeves of mine. (So don't let me stop you from reading it if you're looking at the reviews to decide whether you should or not. ;))