dePalafox

i found this to be such a powerful and moving collection of stories

each story offers an insightful perspective about death and the process of dying, with occasional brief, in-between chapters that helped me further examine and develop my own already held beliefs and feelings about what it means to die... and actually, what it means to be alive, too. having read this book, i am better prepared to discuss death and related topics when offering comfort to a friend.

at least every other account of a patient made me cry. the stories are so sad, and yet it's honestly an inspirational, encouraging and life-affirming book. by acknowledging and keeping in mind my impermanence in this world, i am more present, more appreciative, more alive.

a really, really great book.

i'm conflicted about how to rate this because the last quarter was really, really great but the majority of it was mostly “ok.” it does build up to a touching, cute ending that made me tear up a bit.

Bernadette, as a character, is quite compelling and fun to think about. her quirks, mannerisms, status as a failed, depressed, renowned genius architect who hates people makes her day-to-day interactions a joy to read.

the rest of the cast... are fine. Bee and Elgie really come into their own in the last quarter of the book and i wish they were more interesting earlier.

i started reading this after seeing the movie, which presents Bernadette in a more positive light, i'd say. the movie itself felt very disjointed, so after reading reviews that indicated the book pulled off the same story in a more satisfying way i just had to know for myself.

the book indeed does an overall better job with its collection of various emails, invoices, documents, dialogues, etc. of making an interesting story than the movie does. however, while it is indeed interesting, it's not enough to truly make me gush over its structure. it's cool, but i wish the book leaned way harder into things like invoices, receipts, all the different pieces of litter that one accumulates as they live live to convey narrative. a lot of the material used, like for example the documentary of people being interviewed who had associations with Bernadette, wouldn't have really been different if it was presented as a conversation between a few people. i might even say some of it is more effective in the movie.

as i mentioned in the beginning, the first three fourths of this book was ok but by itself wouldn't have been enough to keep me going through the novel had i not had an utter compulsion to compare its version of events with the movie (as well as maybe how much i related to, or liked to think i related to, Bernadette as a character). in the end i'm glad i did.

i did find this book to be weirdly inspiring.

“people like you must create. if you don't create, Bernadette, you will become a menace to society”

if you're someone who used to work on neat little projects but stopped for one reason or another, you might find a lot of yourself in Bernadette.

alright, now i'm off to go kick the shit out of life. thanks Bernadette ❤️

i was rec'd this book by my therapist with the caveat that it was simplistic but approachable intro into attachment theory

i agree with this assessment: it's oversimplified and very hetero- focused. but, i did walk away with some useful info about myself and the behaviors i exhibit, and a few ways and examples i can refer to to help guide my actions and emotional regulation in the future.

i'm glad to have read this as an easy startin' point, and will use other resources to gain a deeper understandin'.

A bit of an unrelatable, exhausting slog with some appealing line work. I'll applaud the last few pages for being poignant.

a frank, mostly unsurprisin' yet captivating little story about a pretentious, rude but somehow charming woman who is struggling to reconnect to the world. if you've ever been in a really dark, depressed spot in your life, you may find her inner monologue and self-criticism especially relatable.

i liked it a lot. i'd say it's overall a good, not great, book.

if you liked this, i'd pass a slight recommendation of Where'd You Go, Bernadette? (either the book, or the movie.) a less tragic story of an equally eccentric, agoraphobic woman who has lost her place in the world