kat 🍓

2.5:

Here's a bunch of god-awful people, and the many expectedly... questionable decisions they made. I almost dropped this, like, 17 different times. I just can't stand the theatrics over their trivial privileged people problems, and the fact that real people don't talk like that was just the cherry on top. It was the whitest thing I ever did read, and I've read Normal People.

Surprisingly, I ended up liking Bobbi the most, even though I metaphorically rolled my eyes every time she opened her mouth at first. And Sally's writing is fairly engaging, even when her dull roster of characters can very much convince you otherwise, and this was shaping up to be a solid 3 star read. But then, that ending... so disappointing, and I didn't even have expectations to begin with. There were aspects of the story in general that I appreciated better here than in Normal People, but absolutely this was a flop for me.

2.7:

Now that it's been a while since I've read this, and having become more familiar with Sally's writing, my main thought is that I'd like her much better if she stuck to shorter stories. That way, it's loads easier to digest her unsavory characters.

2:

Huh. Well. That was batshit insane. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

Now I'm craving some avocados.

Edit: I can't stop thinking about this story, and it's not a good thing. I really liked it at first, but then it was going so slow I got impatient and almost dropped it, until finally it all wrapped up in a complete mess that left me... underwhelmed. My biggest disappointment was with Estelle, though. She really did THAT. Bruh.

So yeah, 2 stars it is!

4:

Back in 2021, I picked up this book for the first time. Due to events that are later explained in the story, Eleanor has many oddities to herself. I didn't get very far that time: pretty early on she started to refer to her mother as “mommy”, and I was completely put off. Immediately after, I hit a reading slump that lasted almost a full year.

When I got back into my groove again this year, I decided to bite the bullet and give it another go, and boy was 2021 me stupid.

I think deep down I felt I related too much to Eleanor, and that put me off. I haven't gone through a traumatic event as gruesome as the one she did, but I've experienced life through similar lenses, and at the time I finally read the book, I was at a point where it helped to read a story that showed that sometimes, things for people like us can turn out okay.

Eleanor was endearing, and it was a joy to see her coming out of her shell. I liked her friends with Raymond and his mom, and with the elderly gentleman and his family (I forget his name, but it was all very sweet).

I did hope, though, that the whole extreme makeover thingy had been more of a sidenote, or an afterthought, instead of being basically what brings people to seeing her in a different light.

Overall, it was a very cozy read!

3:

Everyone was singing their praises for this book and I have a free Scribd subscription so I thought, what the hell I'll give it a go. It was a spur of the moment thing, I planned on finishing it over the weekend, but I was hooked and done in a day. Boy that was wacky.

I gotta say, the audiobook performance was stellar. It's only two people narrating the whole book! It felt like a full cast kinda thing, wow. The narrators were so talented, I feel like their performance absolutely enhanced the quality of the story. They portrayed each character in such a natural, human way, with sighs and stuttering and getting choked up, they had different accents for a few of the characters, too. My god, I'd listen to it again just to drink in the storytelling.

As for the story itself, it was okay. Not perfect by any means, it had its issues. I mean, I can sort of pretend the whole 0 to 100 pace everything took to get going deal wasn't as bonkers as it was, because I remember what people were like with toilet paper at the beginning of the pandemic. It's ridiculous, but easily overlooked. And the time frame being confusing could be attributed to having a bunch of people telling their side of the story, and misremembering stuff, I suppose. What I REALLY didn't fuck with was the “aaah kids with their Facebook and their internet and their phones glued to their hands mutter mutter grumble grumble” thing that was brought up throughout the whole damn book. They seriously stated that all that shit went down because the “kids” didn't have their phones and were oh so very bored. For real? It was irritating.

However, I took this as a light (?) story that was meant only as entertainment and not as food for thought, and damn if I wasn't entertained. That one chapter, the one with the guy in the hotel? Nightmare fuel. Last night I had to convince myself to close my eyes and fall asleep, I was so scared.

There were also a lot of characters that I adored, like Jill, Sophie, and Clara, they were so badass. I liked Stu, and the guy from the hotel who's name I don't recall, and I really enjoyed Gregg's chapter, it was hilarious.

I feel like the book would've been wonderful if Mike had focused on more plot points instead of trying to pin everything on the youth's inability to think without a phone, but I'd still recommend this (the audiobook version, because I think it makes up for a lot of the issues) if you want a fun story and a quick scare. Hell, you could read the hotel chapter by itself as a stand-alone short story, it's seriously THAT good.

DNF at 11%: She did WHAT to her nursing cat???

3:

Okay. I got the crap spooked out of me. Well... kinda. Anthologies tend to be sort of like mixed bags of goodies, and this was no exception.

The first story, El Chico Sucio, I read at night, sitting by myself in the front porch of my hotel room in Panama. I finished it and hurried along inside, doing my damnednest not to look behind. Then it was the same with La Hostería, where I looked up every time someone walked by because I was so creeped out. But the hidden jewel in here is for damn sure La Casa de Adela and brother, I was planning on getting a drink of water after writing this, but it's now 4AM and I've changed my mind. I'm sure I can wait until it's light and sunny outside.

Bajo el Agua Negra was a nice blend of creepy and gross and infuriating, but for the rest of the stories I wasn't as affected as I'd expected. By far, my biggest letdown was El Patio del Vecino. It had so much potential, but in the end it seemed silly to me and kind of revolting. Also it made me think about my cats who I'd left at home and it got me worried about them. Maybe it was more effective than I'm giving it credit for.

I haven't read a lot of Latin American horror, but I'm seeing a pattern of it being used for social commentary, which isn't all that unusual, and I appreciate it because it's mainly issues that most of us Latinos have witnessed in each of our countries.

4:

Phenomenal. I purposely spent long periods of time between chapters because I wanted to make my time with the story last as much as possible, which surprised me because this is a 750 page brick. I do admit that there were moments where the story dragged on a bit (I didn't particularly care for the Samantha storyline), but many parts of it I loved, and to me it... mostly made up for that. There was SO much going on but it was all nicely tied up at the end.

(I admit almost quit it right at the beginning, what with the whole man-eating-vagina deal. It was bizarre. But hey, I won't yuck your yums, Neil)

5:

I... am not particularly certain I enjoyed this book. I liked it, yes, but I didn't really enjoy it. I'm just... overwhelmed by feelings right now.

It's just, gosh, this was so heavy. The amount of themes that are touched upon in this tiny book, I wouldn't even know where to begin. It's not black and white for even a second, portraying sides of being human that are not palatable. Sides that I often ponder over. It's like Claudia took a pin, and then pricked me all over. That's how I feel.

I want to cry, and I'm sad, and so angry. I don't want to read this again, but I think I might, someday. I thought I came for one thing (murder mystery), and ended up leaving with a hundred others (the ugly truths of life, plus your everyday dose of existential dread). It was incredible.

Praise to Claudia for such fluidity in her writing, too. I felt a bit as when I've read Saramago.

5:

I am floored. Started reading Station Eleven back in June, but dropped it because I hit a reading slump. And frankly speaking, I was doubtful: this was a recommendation, but it was made by someone who's judgement has failed me before, so I came to the book expecting, well, not much.

I stand corrected. This was so beautiful. I've read my fair share of stories where they flip through time and switch up storytellers, and as it is, I always end up rushing through one of the narrators's side of the story, just so I can get to the one I enjoy best. This book. THIS book, though. There are so many storylines, and I was enraptured by every single one. There is a certain harmony to all of them, and the way they connect to one another, and it's just wonderful.

I was sad and angry, anxious and hopeful, the whole shebang. What a whirlwind of emotion, and I'm just supposed to go on after this?

4:

For what it's worth, even though this was gloomier than the first two installments from the get-go and infinitely more frustrating, and although it is still following the same formula of the Baudelaires get a new caretaker -> Olaf shows up in disguise -> nobody believes it when the orphans point it out -> Olaf murders the guardian -> the Baudelaires are, yet again, sad and homeless; we can already see there's a tiiiny bit of character development peeking out. The children are getting—justifiably— angry. Sunny MVP all my homies love and cherish little Sunny.

Aunt Josephine was incredibly obnoxious and selfish and ungrateful and, frankly, she was an overall terrible person. Why does Mr. Poe never do any background checks before just handing these traumatized children over to any ol' Joe Schmoe or Plain Jane? But Jo also was very valid. I, too, am afraid of most things.

Anywho, this is the kind of behavior the Baudelaire orphans deal with on a daily basis:

“These are very serious accusations,” Mr. Poe said firmly. “I understand that the three of you have had some terrible experiences, and I hope you're not letting your imagination get the best of you. Remember when you lived with Uncle Monty? You were convinced that his assistant, Stephano, was really Count Olaf in disguise.”“But Stephano was Count Olaf in disguise,” Klaus exclaimed.“That's not the point,” Mr. Poe said.”

RIP to the dummies who don't listen to the kids who are repeatedly right but I'm different.

3:

Frankly speaking. It's been a minute since I've read this and I don't remember a whole bunch of it. I realised this while reading The Carnivorous Carnival and they brought up details that I couldn't recall. Oh well.

What I do remember is how gutted I felt, seeing that now the kids are ALONE alone. Not like any of their guardians were any use, but still... my kids :c

Also we got Klaus and Sunny quality time! At the expense of, you know, the horrible thing that was about to happen to Violet D:

3.5:

I finally got around to reading this book! It was so creepy!

From the recs I got, I was expecting a feeling of unease and full body shivers. I did not get that, for the most part, and in fact, I was ready to give this a solid three stars. But there were two instances in the book that gave me the chills. And they were so good I'm bumping it up.

The first one was the way a scene was painted. It involved a little girl and contorted expressions . I'll say no more. The second one was within the last three pages and like, there was foreshadowing, it made sense, and yet I think it was the wording, maybe? I don't know what it was, but BRO. I felt a cold zap right through my whole body, and it made it all so worth it.

It's a pretty short read and, while it was slow at times, and I expected something different, it's well worth the read if you want a quick scare.

4:

Annoyed beyond reason because I couldn't stop misreading ‘Mortmain Mountains' as ‘Mountain Mountains.' A thousand curses upon you, Lemony Snicket.

(Quigley Quagmire, Sunny character development, Esmé tobogganing down the side of a mountain! This book had everything!)

3:

Utterly shocked and flabbergasted at the fact that these children have now witnessed a woman being cut in half by a giant saw blade, right after she'd dueled and tried to slice the throat of our Sunny, who is checks notes one year old.

This was awful I'm so mad! There wasn't a single silver lining or a moment of comfort anywhere in this book, it was all bleak bleak. Lemony Snickett warned you yadda yadda I don't care! I'm sad for my children!!

Although now we've stepped away from the well-meaning, but hopelessly incompetent guardians the kids have been entrusted to so far, I absolutely loathed seeing them join the workforce and I hated Sir and Charles was just annoying. Phil was okay-ish, though. And say whatever you want, but Olaf and his cronies are nothing if not versatile. Shirley was a hoot, I'll miss you girl you'd make a terrible receptionist xoxo.

5:

Why were Olaf and his gang of evildoers so hilarious in this book??? This one's made me laugh the hardest in the series.

I didn't like Fernand at ALL!!! Also Sunny almost DIED!!! Again!!!

So close to the end now, I don't wanna say goodbye but I also really need for this to turn out good for the kids.

4.5:

INCREDIBLY DEADLY VIPER, NOOO :(

Gee, is there not a single adult in the Baudelaire children's life who isn't either a repugnant jerk, abysmally incompetent and full of themselves, or dead? Why is Mr. Poe in charge, what an irritating little man. But he did deliver the absolute best quote in the whole book:

“Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne!”

This was good! Olaf was nasty Monty was pretty decent! And there was that Herpetological Society dickwad who was rude and dismissive for no reason. Bad, bad, bad. Fuck you, Bruce.

I'm extremely upset at the ambiguous fate given to all the animals, I just can't get over it. WHAT do you mean they might just be put down? I'm heartbroken.

Once again I'm choosing to ignore Lemony Snicket's warnings about this story not going anywhere nice because I'm having so much fun with it. A literal murder takes place in this book, but somehow it's way more hilarious than the first one? Hang in there, Baudelaires!

4.5:

The children made some friends!! I might cry. Absolutely delighted at the introduction of the Quagmire triplets, after all the gloom and depression of the previous installment, this was like a breath of fresh air.

Once again, we were burdened with the usual Olaf shenanigans, an awful prick for a guardian, and clueless, no good Mr. Poe doing nothing once again. But I see a plot peeking around the corner! Isadora and Duncan went digging for dirt on Olaf, and it looks like they found something worth destroying their notebooks for — I wonder what that was about.

(Olaf making the children run laps for hours on end just might be the cruelest thing in the series so far. Also I despised Nero, but when he said Sunny was to be his secretary, I cackled for like, three straight minutes).

4:

Well honestly, I'm squeamish about stories where people get eaten by animals but when I think about this installment, all I feel is despair at the thought of those poor little lions and what ended up happening to them. They were hungryyy :(

My other thought on this book is that I detested Kevin with the intensity of a thousand suns, and he is the worst character in the whole series. He brings NOTHING to the table and has a victim complex. Flop!

4.5:

Unfortunately, I loved this very much. There's not that much of a nostalgia factor here for me, because as a child I only ever watched the Jim Carrey adaptation, which aesthetically shaped me as a person during my angsty teens. But I know for certain that, had I picked this book up at 11 when I probably should have, I would've eaten it right up. WHY did the Baudelaires only ever suffer? I can't stand it, I positively HAVE to keep reading because surely the tide will change for them? Surely it will?

Lemony Snickett is also hilarious, and for obvious reasons this book is very short, yet I highlighted a whole bunch of quotes because they made me laugh out loud. The whole vocabulary schtick must be an amusing way for kids to learn new words, I know kid-me would've loved it.

Reading this was way too much fun and I can't wait to get to the rest of the series. I ain't watching the Netflix adaptation though, because I don't like NPH. Sue me.

5:

JEROME D: I cannot believe.

Only one word comes to mind when I try to describe this book: smashing. It is now officially my favorite one. Esmé, though? Not so smashing. As is the case with all other lame-o adults surrounding the Baudelaires, as per usual.

This one was hilarious and unputdownable. The kids all had their moments to shine too but, once again, Sunny remains the MVP in my books.

Olaf's scheming is also escalating and dare I say he's getting... craftier? Shivers. Someone better put these children in therapy after all this is over, or else.

5:

Eating a big ol' plate of my own damn words because I'd insisted that I hated this book and that it was dull and boring and I DNF'd it a couple of years ago, only to go back and finish it and now I have a new hyperfixation, I'm sorry Ms. Jackson I wasn't for real.

By far, the creepiest story I've ever read.

5:

I thought I was supposed to be doing the reading? How come it feels like the book was reading me instead??

I have never felt so seen by a piece of media before and I almost can't believe it's happening with some book I decided to pick up on a random Tuesday all because the cover had little windows and stars on it and I thought it was pretty. Gah!!!!!!! I almost don't want to read anything else by Emily Austin because I don't want to ruin this. I know the book is supposed to be funny but while reading I was mostly engulfed in a sense of second-hand anxiety that I mostly only feel when out in public. But this was like, in a good bad way. You know?

4.5:

Not gonna lie, I teared up while reading Po'Boy's first intervention.

The way each voice is so distinct and recognizable. To let each character tell their side of the story, and have it all coming together at the end. And it was all so bittersweet. The small details, and the subtleties. Gosh, it was brilliant. Chef's kiss