Brigid
This is the most boring book I've ever read, and I've read nearly 1000 page history textbooks cover to cover.
(Also I'm not gonna dive into how problematic this book is, but be aware of that. I think anyone who wants/has to read this book should be aware of the various problematic elements including some period racism, and TW for suicidal ideation and depiction.)
When you're expecting a book to be maybe a 3 star but now you're crying, listening to the Smiths, and giving it 5 stars.
Anyway this was great, love the magic elements surrounding the ghosts, and the discussions about death and the grief that comes with it. Overall an honest story about loss that may be a tad difficult to read, but very rewarding.
This probably would have been a four star book, possibly five, due to the lovely prose which involves many wonderful quotes, and a main character who seemingly isn't going to take crap from anyone. (And having a nerdy gay side character doesn't hurt).
But...I have two main issues with this book.
1)The gay side couple is in literally one scene. It feels like they're there to tick of a LGBT+ diversity box, rather to be interesting characters.
1.5)Not a major issue but I do think it's ridiculous that there are three haikus in here, that are not actually haikus because their syllables weren't counted correctly. On page 243, one titled:
“Haiku: The Best Part About Thanksgiving Was When Mami:
Returned my cell,
Until I remember I've
got no one to text. “
(There needs to be another syllable in the first line to get to the proper 5)
On page 265:
“Traditionally
contrasting ideas are
tied together neat.”
(Needs another syllable on line 2 to get to 7)
And on page 266:
“I'm like a haiku,
with different sides
except no clean tie.”
(Which is missing a whole 2 syllables from it's second line. I swear I'm done complaining about literal poetry mechanics, now onto the big issue.)
2)SHE DOESN'T STAND UP FOR HERSELF WHEN HER MOTHER GIVES HER CRAP. AND BY CRAP I MEAN A BEATING.
Something that's been drilled into my brain since I was little (thanks to my mother), is “if anyone ever hits you, EVER, get the fuck out of there.” (Though she excluded the f word when I was younger). Xiomara, the main character is built up to be a fighter, she'll threaten assholes who grope her at school, and beat up assholes who harass her brother, but when her own mother BEATS her, she doesn't call Child Protective Services.
Later, she tells her poetry/English teacher about the attack, to which the teacher says, “You do need to talk to your mom. Really talk to her. And you do need to figure out how to make a relationship with her work.” So, you're a teacher and a student tells you their mother beat them. Do you a)CALL CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES or b)Tell them they need to work it out. If you answered b, you're as morally bankrupt as this teacher, who does nothing after this.
The family does eventually try out family therapy, but not with someone with a psychology degree, oh no, that might actually be helpful, they go to their Church's pastor. Just for context, the entire reason Xiomara's mother beat her, was because she kissed a boy, a completely normal thing, that doesn't cause most atheist, (or any decent religious people) to BEAT THEIR CHILDREN. When Xiomara arrives home, her mother yells that she's a whore, yanks her hair, and hits her. After her beating, Xiomara's mother forces her to kneel ontop of rice infront of a statue of the virgin Mary, as penance. This leaves her with dozens of bruises on her knees. It doesn't matter what religious beliefs, (or lack there of) or ideas about punishing children for “naughty” behaviour, decent people do not intend to cause their children suffering. Any parent who does, deserves to have their children taken from them.
Xiomara should have taken my mother's advice, and gotten the hell away from her's.
Note: This is spoiler free, however it's also long, ranty and I kinda descend into madness.
Me before reading: A graphic novel about a pirate queen and VENGEANCE? What's not to like!
Me after reading: “Welcome to the sea of disappointment.”
So what went wrong? Well, I've separated my complaints into two categories, “legit problems” and “I'm feeling petty today.”
Legit problems:
1)The use of many words in different languages with no translations (including some French, Spanish, and Dutch). Some of these are simple words that a lot of people would know like: “oui”, however most of them aren't. Sometimes there will be entire short sentences in French, and really, who wants to use a translator and interrupt their reading?
2)Freed slaves were common among pirates, and later in the book some ex-slaves join the crew. Nothing wrong with that, until one of the white crew members (who is blind) calls them “Heathen savages”. And I'm just like: “Don't you just love when one marginalized group makes fun of another marginalized group?” Then the lady captain just continues the conversation like nothing happened, she doesn't tell him that's rude or not to say that... she just ignores it. Obviously people were SUPER racist back in 1687, but one would hope that these two people from marginalized groups of the time (a blind man and a woman) would not be assholes to other minorities.
3)The characters are very one dimensional and I can't name consistent traits for any of them.
4)The plot is very by the numbers and predictable.
5)A male captain seems surprised at the idea of a lady pirate, which makes no sense as they were actually decently common.
I'm Feeling Petty Today:
1)Remember the racist blind man? That's not actually established until about a ⅓ of the way through the book, and even then it's in a throwaway bit of dialogue that's real easy to miss. From a writing perspective, it should have been established WAAYYYY earlier, say when they introduced the character. His opening line shouldn't be “yo I'm blind BTW” but it still needs to be introduced.
2)Some of the characters have a strange tendency to speak in rhyme of occasion-and it reminded me of something...
2.5)This one dude when dying says, “She's killed me lads!” and I was reminded of how in Shakespeare plays people talk in rhyme and say “Oh dear, I'm dead now.” when killed. Then I got pissed at all my english teachers for making me read Shakespeare, and at this book for reminding me of that dark place.
3)So thanks to the little monologue bit at the start we know this story starts on December 10th 1687. That wouldn't annoy me if the little expository spiel at the beginning didn't say: “these are the final days of the Golden age of Piracy.” If by “final days” you mean the next 15, 351 days (or 42 years + the last 21 days of December) since the Golden age of Piracy actually ended in the 1730's.
4)There's a sentence during that exposition that goes like this: “Villainous craft (being the pirate ships) crewed by traitors, deserters, thieves, freed slaves, and worse...” I know it's probably not the intention, but by putting freed slaves as the last on that list, it seems like they're trying to make them look worse than the others. “Freed slaves! Ah yes, truly the worst humanity has to offer.”
5)AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST. Since this comic series was cancelled before it had a chance to finish it's story we're left with several cliffhangers, will Lady Sin get her revenge? Will (oh wait, that's a spoiler)? And will (maybe I should stop)? BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, the last line of the book is: “Do you by chance, speak Latin?” AND WE WILL NEVER GET TO KNOW IF HARRY SPEAKS LATIN. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING AND I NEED TO KNOW. #DoesCapnHarrySpeakLatin?
(This is where is gets vaguely not really spoilery, and I've given up and am just shouting into the void)
1)Just replace Batman with Lady Sin, “WHY DOESN'T BATMAN JUST KILL THE CRIMINALS HE CATCHES? THEY JUST SWEAR VENGEANCE AND BREAK OUT AND KILL MORE PEOPLE.”
2)A genuine reaction from me, “Wait, why does the governor hold his finger under his nose like he's drawn a mustache on it? If it smells bad in the prison that's not going to help...maybe he just needs to sneeze...”
3)A quote from Lady Sin: “We must needs go ashore.” AH YES I CAN PROPER ENGLISH
To conclude, this is kind of fun bad if you're making jokes with it, if it had kept running I would have given it a second chance even with this rocky start, MOSTLY BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW IF CAPTAIN HARRY SPEAKS LATIN. (Mostly joking there...mostly.)
A lot of people think because the author hits enter after every few words, this does not “count” as poetry. And it's perfectly okay to think that. However, poetry is defined as: “literary work in which special intensity is given to the expression of feelings and ideas by the use of distinctive style and rhythm; poems collectively or as a genre of literature.” Nothing about format, technically, poetry can be anything. This is definitely a literary work, with plenty of complex emotion, and a simple format. It's okay to disagree, but this definitely “counts” to me.
Everyone can have their opinion, I don't judge that. I ask you don't judge mine, so here it is: It's not the format that matters, it's the content that matters. And here I see a piece of work, that is passionate and truthful, and will likely help a lot of people who have, or are currently facing abuse.
This book left me feeling less than infinite. I did not like this book. In fact, I could rant about it for an hour, but I want to keep this short, (and attempt not to rant). (Spoilers, I end up ranting. Also minor spoilers for the book, not anything that will ruin it if you still want to read it. But if you're really spoiler sensitive don't read this.)
First I'll talk about the writing and plot, which was painfully slow and dreadfully boring. I can't give an accurate description of the plot, because nothing really happened. This book is written in the form of letters to Charlie's anonymous friend. Who has a tendency to rant about things that serve no purpose to the story and are never brought up again, like a random scientific experiment he found out about involving rats running through a maze to get food or drugs while being electrocuted. He explains that the rats would withstand a higher voltage for the drugs as opposed to the food. The point of this? I can't you, because it was never brought up again.
Or this quote from page 85: “When I was little I called them ‘Candy Grandma' and ‘Cookies Grandma.' I also used to call pizza crust ‘pizza bones.' I don't know why I'm telling you this.” Neither do I Charlie. It's doesn't contribute to the story, and it's not funny either. The first thing you learn in any writing class is “Omit needless words.”
The characters (most of them are in high school by the way) regularly smoke, drink and use drugs. It was like the author included this to be “dark” and “edgy”. But it comes across as unrealistic and cringy. Not to mention all the characters are thinner than the paper they were printed on. Including the gay character, who is only there to tick off the diversity box and add drama to the “plot”.
You think all that is bad? I haven't even mentioned all the sexual and physical assault towards women in this. It's horrendous, 90% of the women have been abused in some way. I'm not saying that we can't have stories that include abuse and rape, because it's necessary to talk about that because it affects many people worldwide. But, NINETY FUCKING PERCENT???
Now if you've read this and are shaking your head at me cause “it couldn't possibly be 90% of the female characters” I've made this handy dandy little chart:
Women Confirmed to Have Been Abused-
Charlie's Sister- Slapped by boyfriend.
Charlie's Mother-Abused by her father.
Aunt Helen (Charlie's Mother's Side)-Abused by her father, and molested by a family friend.
Unnamed Girl At a House Party-Raped by a boy in Charlie's room.
Aunt Rebecca (Charlie's Father's Side)-Abused by step-father, and romantic partners.
Unconfirmed- (Not explicitly stated but suggested.)
Charlie's Grandmother (Father's Side)-Likely abused by second husband.
Sam-Possibly Sexually Assaulted based on this quote: Sam: “You can always say no (to sex).”
Charlie: “Does that work?” Sam: “Sometimes.”
Now there was another girl in this story who I can't remember the name of (like I said, paper thin and forgettable.) The girl who dated Charlie at one point and was really annoying. Which brings our totals to 87% (7 out of 8) of women in this story were probably abused, and 62% (5 out of 8) who were definitely abused. Which is double the average of women who report being abused by a romantic partner at some point in their lives. (Accourding to Statistics NCADV, https://ncadv.org/statistics who say it's about 33% or 1 in 3)
Also, this book made me do MATH to find out the statistics of HOW MANY WOMEN ARE ABUSED IN THE STORY. So fuck this book.
DNF page 168.
Might get better, but I doubt it. When I think romance I don't think a controlling, misogynistic asshole as the love interest.