Alexandra Kaste
I have so many mean things to say about this book.
It's been a long time since I finished something purely from spite, so here are a collection of things that pissed me off about this book.
-if I could go through and remove every simile from this book, it wouldn't fix it but I'd have fewer wrinkles. “Her words fell from her lips, like so many smoking leaves” STFU
-no one has ever smelled like green tea or cupcakes
-I would also bully Samantha
-the bunnies are so much cooler and better than Samantha and I cannot believe they were supposed to be the villains
-if Samantha experienced real oppression, I think her head would explode
-if you can't write something better than Barton Fink, you, as a writer, shouldn't write about writer's block
-plus one star and then minus it for the prom scene because it was actually great and it raised my hopes just to dash them
-don't write about MFA programs, it's tacky
-i had to rewind the audiobook a few times just to show my boyfriend particularly egregious writing. E.g. “My smile cracked like a mirror cracking” and “She was a great girl-shaped forest. She was a thing on fire. Her hand was leaves and smoke and snow and flesh all at once.”
-i kept thinking it was going to be self aware and then it never was :'(
Anyway, go read “Drinking Coffee Elsewhere” for the disaffected Ivy league experience and anything Angela Carter for the weird fairy tale fiction part. God, I'm so worked up.
