John Mikkola

I saw the movie first and it was inspirational to me as someone who had better relationships with older women than my peers.

I loved this book right up til the end. I knew better than to expect the Hollywood ending. But Max really didn't change that much. He fought and suffered to get back to where he was at the start: working in advertising. Yes he suffered in poverty among the very poorest people in the city while he lived in NYC, but that came off as a circumstance of bad finances in the pursuit of Nora and burning his bridges in the industry. Although he loved his ordered life at the beginning of the book, he wasn't nearly as materialistic as his friends and having grown up poor he adapted to what he had to do with the same rigid discipline he's always had.
Nora's transformation was much better than Max's. Although Nora had her qualms about her new boyfriend, George comes across as very sympathetic and I have to wonder if she's going to end up cheating on him with Max. Such an event strikes me as disrespectful to their characters.
I think a much better ending would had been both of them realizing that the relationship has run it's course. But not for the reasons they had feared at the beginning. Nora finally seemed healed of her wounds and was being the best version of herself she could be. Her new life just didn't include Max any more because their relationship dynamic was based on how she used to be and the need she had for Max as a stabilizing influence.
And Max should realize the conflicts he always had with Nora, which was his source of attraction to her, was unhealthy for him and based on needing to take care of his mother. Max was very physically attracted to Nora, but it was always phrased as praise of the physical aspects of her that he found unpleasant or repulsive. He was wanting to break out of his old life and she was the exact opposite of what he had always been told to desire. But once he breaks out of his old life, he should grow past that framework. Nora was the journey for him, not the destination. As should had been the case for her as well.

I would recommend this book for every woman.
Emily Nagoski does a great job of creating analogies for complex systems of sexuality. The text is easy to read, but works best if you take the time to stop and think what she's discussing and how it may have applied to your real life experiences.
I found it provides a very interesting framework for understanding sexuality and arousal, even though the intended audience is women, there is enough in common for men to learn something new about themselves and their sexual partners.

I'm conflicted on my review on this. It's a good mystery at the heart of the story with well thought out characters and plot lines. The sexual aspect of it with Lisbeth echoed of male fantasy. She was capable of incredible daring and feats of intellect, yet her character boiled down to her sexual attractiveness and vulnerability, especially for the main character who has a romance with her at the end. Even her anti-social flaws added to her allure.
In the end I do recommend it because it does a good job of setting a place and people into a story.

I enjoyed the leisurely pace of the first part of the book when Cameron was in her hometown. Danforth sets the location and people really well and takes the time to develop Cameron in depth through a series of events that lead into the second part. Some of the events added more to the story than others, but I didn't mind since they added details to the background.

Part two is Cameron at the conversion therapy camp and that is where the meat of the story starts. Plot comes more prominent and the central conflict is finally reached. Everything prior in the book, except her relationship with Coley, is almost completely forgotten about. The resolution of that relationship is heart-breaking(so great job there).

What I didn't like was that at the camp Cameron quickly falls into a very similar friendship dynamic with Jane and Adam that she had back in her hometown. I can understand that because people seek out familiar roles, but I'm struggling to see where Cameron changes much at all though her experience at the camp. She definitely gets disillusioned with the ‘wisdom of adults' who are messing with their sense of self without knowing what they are doing and are unaware of the consequences they are putting on the kids. But that is about it for resolutions in the novel except for the end scene. I was left wondering if given all the pressure did Cameron start to doubt her lesbianism? If she didn't, then that's fine but I would had liked to seen a definite defiance to their teachings instead of the ‘well I'll give it a try' attitude she adopts in the end but ultimately rejects. Cam has this low-key acceptance of her same sex attraction, which is great but I would think she would feel more internal conflict being raised in a culture where that is ostracized(and actively destroyed in the camp). I get that by the end of her stay at Promise that she has no doubts about her sexual attraction to women, unlike Erin who is still fighting it. I would had liked to see a journey of externally applied self doubt being overcome.

I'm also curious about Cam's view on religion in general since that seems like an important facet here. Does she believe any of the GOP(Gates of Praise) teachings or is it just a social thing that she is forced into? I suspect it is the latter, but it would be nice to have a more definitive statement on that. Christianity and homosexuality are not inherently incompatible, but such a union requires a rejection of the patriarchal values built into fundamentalism. It's understandable to not want to enter that rabbit hole.

The ending scene left me mystified as to the focus of the novel. Cameron reconciles her identity with the memory of her deceased parents finally allowing her to make peace with the fear she felt at their possible disappointment or rejection of her and the relief she felt at their death at having avoided that. If that was the the central internal conflict of Cameron's character, then that fear wasn't developed very much. The focus of the book was elsewhere.

Also the book ends with a bunch of loose ends. I assume everything works out for the Cameron, Jane and Adam but we are never told. I also wanted to know what happens with Ruth's health and does Cameron ever reconcile with her? I assume that Margot was coded as lesbian and it would had been nice to learn more about her friendship with Cameron's mom and did that factor into Ruth's fear for Cameron.

Overall, I enjoyed the book because of the author's ability to describe the flavor of locale and the people there. Cameron wasn't a favorite character of mine, but she was developed well. It felt like the conclusion of the book didn't get the same amount of effort as the first part.

I listened to this on audio book and it reminded me of being a kid during the 70s and listening to my dad's stories of when he was younger. The only difference was my dad didn't drink and certainly wasn't a poet, so there's that. Despite the apparent horror of this comparison, it was an unexpected bit of nostalgia of a time and culture that now exists only in time capsules such as this book.

Sorry Jenna.

I liked the length of the book and read through it quickly because I wanted to find out more about the plot and the world. The challenges were a mixed bag. Some were interesting while others very obvious, some were not that imaginative where I might had seen something similar in a made for cable movie.

I don't read fantasy anymore, so I was fine if you didn't fit into some of the established patterns of the genre, such as not describing your magic system at all. I'm also not into romance so some of the predictable plot points were okay with me since I haven't read them 100 times before.

My only real complaint is Jenna writes men as she imagines they must talk privately when women aren't around. Sorry, we might think with our dicks sometimes but we don't actively talk about them as if they were some independent part of our selves where our sense of identity is kept. Guys who do talk about their dicks like that in front of other guys are few and far in between because that gets you shunned: it's silly and pathetic. I realize that my view is a contemporary western/American view point, but that brings me to another thing I didn't like. The dialogue was very modern. While that helped make the characters approachable, it also made me think of the characters as contemporary people, almost like a group of people larping. The line ‘worst armor ever' made me think of Simpsons comic book guy, which was immersion breaking.

I'm not going to comment too much on the characters. Tobias was fine, except a bit too ‘perfect' in his relationship with Leila. It felt like some wish fulfillment going on here, but perhaps that's an element of romance novels, don't know-don't care. Leila was fine, beautiful woman who is secretly a deadly bad ass, but nothing new there either. The erotic or sex dream scenes were okay, but seemed like they were in there for either shock or to keep the reader interested. Since I'm not a romance reader I don't know how they were supposed to be, but they came off as tame and the fact that ‘nothing really happened' between the love interests was disappointing.

Overall, the story was ‘meh'. The fact that Tobias would get seriously injured, but still be able to fight reminded me this was a story that had a plot to get through. If it was all good because of healing magic, then the magic needed to be explained more, perhaps with limitations. I get that there is a lot of hidden things driving the story on Leila's side which will be the focus of the second book. I doubt I'll read it.