Elise
Dreams Lie Beneath is a book of missed opportunities.
Revenge stories are usually easy to get into because of how cathartic they are. Except in this story the revenge is over something that narratively feels so small that the want for revenge comes across as more petty than just.
Spoilers Below:
Clementine wants revenge on Lennox and Phelan because Lennox challenged her father to become the magician of their town and won. Sure he wasn't polite about it but neither were Clementine and her father and he won fair and square. This is something that is so easily "fixable" that Clementine can simply challenge Lennox on the next new moon and win her town back. The only reason she doesn't is because her and her father think that would be morally wrong. But revenge is ok I guess? Clementine and her father don't even have to leave their town but they get up and go the next day and then we keep being told they're heart broken despite actively choosing to leave and then not win their spot back.
I think this could have been saved by having there be some in canon law about a magician not being allowed to reclaim their or their mentor's town and that they have to leave town if they lose a challenge. That way their hate towards Lennox and Phelan would feel justified since they would have actually lost their home in a way they can't get back.
Instead they just come off as childish and prideful but the narrative wants you to be on their side.
The revenge itself is also very petty but kind of pointless. Clementine decides to disguise herself, become Phelan's assistant, and then write an expose about his family. Except that Lennox and Phelan are nobles and I don't see how anyone would believe or care about an article written by a random girl who lost to Lennox in a fight. I'm 100% sure the repercussions would be worse for her than them.
Writing wise the story is all tell and basically no show.
For example: We're told that Clementine is an artist but when she gives up her artistic skill for her disguise we never see her grieve its loss. She just fully accepts she can't make art anymore. There's some moments where she looks at paintings and thinks "I can't do that anymore, that's sad" but that's the most we get. I just really wish there was a scene where she picks up her sketchbook and tries but her skill is just gone and she gets upset about it. I honestly thought that she maybe didn't lose her skill at all because she doesn't try to make any art until the end of the book. Also turns out she didn't lose her ability to make art forever she just has to practice to get back to where she was at previously and while that's incredibly frustrating as a creator it's not nearly as terrifying as the idea that you'll never get that skill back no matter what you do. So even there the stakes are gone and any meaning behind giving up her art is essentially gone.
We're also told repeatedly that Phelan is a good guy but the most we see him do is not leave his work partner for dead and being rich enough to pay the taxes for his part of town (this is never implied to effect him monetarily). Phelan is also supposed to be a good magician but he's never successfully protected his portion of town in the new moons he's worked there and has actually been heavily injured while trying to do so twice. From a reader's perspective he comes across as a pitifully bad magician (at least in terms of fighting nightmares which is his job). Sorry Phelan but you're not beating those nepotism allegations.
In terms of characterization none of the cast feel like real people. They're all bland and 1 dimensional. Clementine is an artist who can't do art and wants revenge, Phelan is a good rich guy, Imonie is a motherly archetype. After reading the book I'm still not able to describe who the characters are as people.
The romance is also just lust at first sight but the characters and the narrative think it's love. It's supposed to be enemies to lovers but I never believe that Clementine hates him.
The magic system isn't explored at all. There's three schools of magic: avertana, metamara, and deviah. The most information we get on them is that avertana is "practical magic," metamara is "stage magic," and deviah is basically enchanting anything that can be considered art, even armor. These distinctions aren't made clear as there's never any clear explanation as to what counts as practical and what counts as stage. Also practical magic can be used to place enchantments on rooms (which one could argue that architecture is a form of artistry) but only deviah can be used to enchant armor.
There's nothing wrong with writing a simple magic system but if you're going to split it up why not make each type of magic distinct?
Overall Dreams Lie Beneath is a frustrating read that had the potential to be a whole lot more than it was.
Dreams Lie Beneath is a book of missed opportunities.
Revenge stories are usually easy to get into because of how cathartic they are. Except in this story the revenge is over something that narratively feels so small that the want for revenge comes across as more petty than just.
Spoilers Below:
Clementine wants revenge on Lennox and Phelan because Lennox challenged her father to become the magician of their town and won. Sure he wasn't polite about it but neither were Clementine and her father and he won fair and square. This is something that is so easily "fixable" that Clementine can simply challenge Lennox on the next new moon and win her town back. The only reason she doesn't is because her and her father think that would be morally wrong. But revenge is ok I guess? Clementine and her father don't even have to leave their town but they get up and go the next day and then we keep being told they're heart broken despite actively choosing to leave and then not win their spot back.
I think this could have been saved by having there be some in canon law about a magician not being allowed to reclaim their or their mentor's town and that they have to leave town if they lose a challenge. That way their hate towards Lennox and Phelan would feel justified since they would have actually lost their home in a way they can't get back.
Instead they just come off as childish and prideful but the narrative wants you to be on their side.
The revenge itself is also very petty but kind of pointless. Clementine decides to disguise herself, become Phelan's assistant, and then write an expose about his family. Except that Lennox and Phelan are nobles and I don't see how anyone would believe or care about an article written by a random girl who lost to Lennox in a fight. I'm 100% sure the repercussions would be worse for her than them.
Writing wise the story is all tell and basically no show.
For example: We're told that Clementine is an artist but when she gives up her artistic skill for her disguise we never see her grieve its loss. She just fully accepts she can't make art anymore. There's some moments where she looks at paintings and thinks "I can't do that anymore, that's sad" but that's the most we get. I just really wish there was a scene where she picks up her sketchbook and tries but her skill is just gone and she gets upset about it. I honestly thought that she maybe didn't lose her skill at all because she doesn't try to make any art until the end of the book. Also turns out she didn't lose her ability to make art forever she just has to practice to get back to where she was at previously and while that's incredibly frustrating as a creator it's not nearly as terrifying as the idea that you'll never get that skill back no matter what you do. So even there the stakes are gone and any meaning behind giving up her art is essentially gone.
We're also told repeatedly that Phelan is a good guy but the most we see him do is not leave his work partner for dead and being rich enough to pay the taxes for his part of town (this is never implied to effect him monetarily). Phelan is also supposed to be a good magician but he's never successfully protected his portion of town in the new moons he's worked there and has actually been heavily injured while trying to do so twice. From a reader's perspective he comes across as a pitifully bad magician (at least in terms of fighting nightmares which is his job). Sorry Phelan but you're not beating those nepotism allegations.
In terms of characterization none of the cast feel like real people. They're all bland and 1 dimensional. Clementine is an artist who can't do art and wants revenge, Phelan is a good rich guy, Imonie is a motherly archetype. After reading the book I'm still not able to describe who the characters are as people.
The romance is also just lust at first sight but the characters and the narrative think it's love. It's supposed to be enemies to lovers but I never believe that Clementine hates him.
The magic system isn't explored at all. There's three schools of magic: avertana, metamara, and deviah. The most information we get on them is that avertana is "practical magic," metamara is "stage magic," and deviah is basically enchanting anything that can be considered art, even armor. These distinctions aren't made clear as there's never any clear explanation as to what counts as practical and what counts as stage. Also practical magic can be used to place enchantments on rooms (which one could argue that architecture is a form of artistry) but only deviah can be used to enchant armor.
There's nothing wrong with writing a simple magic system but if you're going to split it up why not make each type of magic distinct?
Overall Dreams Lie Beneath is a frustrating read that had the potential to be a whole lot more than it was.