Edrie Elen
DNF because of animal pet death. Regrettably, I had gifted a copy of this book to a 10 year old before reading it. This is one trope that I, personally, simply cannot deal with. I love my animal family members too much. That aside, this was an absolutely wonderful read and I was really enjoying it (hence the lack of star rating). I loved the many and diverse, weird characters. I was fascinated by the lore and the way the flip sides of the world were built.
TL;DR Review: Calladia is MY GIRL. She's angry, she takes no shit, and she defends both her friends and the helpless with the tenacity and fierceness of a rottweiler. She's been manipulated and abused and NEVER AGAIN. Oh, and she absolutely despises Astoroth. So she has some pretty big walls up...but when it's the centuries old demon who is suddenly nearly helpless...well. I liked this book way more than I expected to and much more than the first, in part because of how strongly I identify with what Calladia has been through in her life and her response to it. The banter between her and Astoroth is hilarious, the sexual tension is ridiculous, and the spicy scenes are exactly that.
I saw an unattributed quote online, and googled it only to find it was from this book – and the author is one of the only poets I really enjoy. Which meant I immediately downloaded it and proceeded to devour it in one sitting. Please note I am not a poetry connoisseur by any stretch. I had to take a class on poetry in college and promptly tried to forget everything about it because I don't care about iambic pentameter or what the hell ever. I only care about how the words hit my soul, and Trista Mateer's work absolutely land home.
While this book was written during the isolation phase of the 2020 pandemic, the words and feelings expressed really feel relatable for anyone who is lonely – whether that's a more temporary thing, or a way of living.
lonely is lonelier when you say it out loud and I'd swear by that
when I'm not checking to see if someone texted me I'm waiting to check
passing time until I can look at the phone once again hoping I just missed the buzz
One day you're complaining about the exhaustion and your friend says, what are you talking about? There's a ladder right over there. Just get out and dry off.
But you don't understand. And you're scared of what's over there. You've got no idea what it feels like to stand
on two feet.
You don't remember
not being
in the water
I crawled on broken glass to get here. You better believe I'm living it up. I will swallow stars if I want to. May my dreams come true. May my enemies eat shit. Times are tough but I'm a fucking nightmare. I have my boot on the throat of hell right now. Watch me beat my demons into submission. Surviving's ugly work and here I am, so hideously alive.
You're going to be happy again. Your own delight is going to catch you so off guard one day. I don't know when it'll happen or how long it'll take but that future where you're loved and joyous, it's waiting for you. And it's content to wait. You don't need to go chasing it down right now. It'll find you. All you have to do now is rest. Breathe. Tend to yourself. You'll find your way home.
TL;DR Review: Standalone, but the 4th book in a series. “Magical dud” and insta-love tropes, but the MC basically deus ex machinas her way out of...everything? Writing is good but worldbuilding is minimal to nonexistent, maybe because its the 4th book. Going to read the 1st one and see if things are explained/solidified.
TL;DR Review: Cute, quirky, with a memorable and interesting cast of characters. Plot was pretty predictable, kept expecting the stakes to go higher but they never did. Added a full star for the excellent portrayal of a narcissistic mother and the personal growth required to set boundaries. Will continue with the next book in the series.
Audiobook Notes: Listened on 1.2x speed. I enjoyed most of the narrator's style. I wasn't a huge fan of the voice/accent she used for Oz, but got used to it after a bit. It just wasn't sexy, to me, and he was definitely supposed to be. She did an amazing job of Mom Spark's voice though. Grating, pushy, can't be ignored! Just like the character.
Longer Review: Mariel is an endearing character and I loved her cast of supportive girlfriends. Glimmer Falls itself is a campy sort of cozy paranormal town, and many of the other characters (like the mothers in this book) are very stereotypical of their type. I was immediately sympathetic with Mariel's feelings as the disappointing daughter, and wanted to see how she would deal with her “inability” to do magic – since it was obvious in the first chapter that would be the focus of the story. I do love the grumpy/sunshine trope so as soon as Oz was on the page I was at least somewhat invested.
I bought this because the article I read about it (that I've lost the link to, it might have been the NYT piece, it might have been a random one from an ENM group on FB, I'll never know because I didn't save it) made it sound interesting and right up my alley, like two people coming into their autonomy and discovering the beauty of expansive love and community. Then it arrived in the mail and I read the dust jacket.
insert record scratch sound
Whoo, boy, I got the ick BIG time. But I decided to read it anyway because I'm SURE it'll be being talked about and I want to know what I'm up against.
Update and TL;DR: I'm disappointed. It's not as gross as I thought it would be but it's not good either. 3 stars because the writing is good enough to have kept me going.
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First of all, I understand that this is a memoir, not a how-to or even a self help book. Thank all the powers that be for that, because I highly doubt even the author would recommend anyone follow her particular path into non-monogamy. As someone who identifies as polyamorous with a healthy seasoning of relationship anarchy, I have SO MANY PROBLEMS with the entire way the author and her husband approached this. At least she was honest in the telling, I guess? I don't see how she could have been DIShonest, with as awful a light as she painted both herself and her husband in during their bumbling first forays into non-monogamy. The book is well-written, the first 2/3 or so like the proverbial train crash you can't stop watching.
Second, the events of the book happen over 10+ years. There's a lot of growing and changing that takes place, in many ways, not just in how the main couple approaches their non-monogamy. Parents age and fall ill, children grow up, jobs change. So I'll give them some grace based on the fact that while as a reader, I got to rush through all the nitty-gritty bits, they were actually living through them in real time. Again: memoir. This is their story, as painful and nauseating as it may be at times.
Third, there are many, many flavors of non-monogamy, most of which can be approached ethically (i.e., with everyone involved being fully, knowledgeably consenting). That I don't agree with/think their decided on flavor is unhealthy and toxic doesn't mean they're wrong. It may be wrong for me and I may have logical reasons for that – but that doesn't mean it's ethically wrong. I may still have the ick, but. You do you, booboo.
Following are some of my problems with their journey and their chosen flavor of non-monogamy at the end of the book. There are some spoiler-y things here, though I think you could still read the book and enjoy(?) it and form your own impressions.
- Her husband comes off (in the first chapters, at least) as a man disinterested in anything but work and sex, and his motivation for “allowing” his wife to see other men (something she feels incredibly guilty about and even resistant to at first) is that he finds fantasizing about her being with them hot, and wants to know all the juicy details. ICK. BIG ICK. Not because there's anything wrong with that as a kink, when EVERYONE is fully aware that that's what's happening and consents. But she outright lies to the first few men she sees, leading them to believe that she, also (!!) is cheating on her partner. This causes her and at least one of them some real emotional turmoil and pain.- I have a real problem with how they treated other people. How they upheld their marriage like it was some sacred thing to be protected at all costs (and oddly enough, they don't seem to be religious at all). How despite continuing in this lifestyle, they seem to ashamed of it to teach their kids about alternate relationship styles – when their oldest discovers it by accident, they act embarrassed and as though it's a personal failing (but don't worry, Mommy and Daddy love each other VERY MUCH!!!!). Ew. The nuclear family is not some god-ordained thing, folks. It's okay to have expansive love in our lives, and you should teach your kids that.- The author has little to no confidence in herself and her worth. She constantly tries to make herself smaller for other people, especially as she's dating. At one point she writes, “How do I dress up for her (her date partner's fiance'), but not outshine her?” The face she even considers this motivation for how she asks or dresses (another person's insecurities)...sigh. Also the kind of treatment and behavior she allows and excuses from some of the men she dates...is disturbing. - OH, THE DRAMA. Sure we all need to vent our emotions sometimes, but there are ways to do that, that don't involve exploding on other people either in anger or just...feelings. I mean are we 15 or 35, here? The whole flinging herself out of bed to sob on the floor at one point struck me as childish at best and manipulative at worst, and there were several other passages where she is just SO DRAMATIC over things that are not a big deal (I'm not saying they didn't FEEL like a big deal, because it's totally okay to have your feelings – just not to act or require others to act as a caretaker for those feelings). I definitely wanted to give her a little shake and tell her to grow up.- A large part of the author's frustration and even health problems are due to her letting her resentment and anger towards her husband build. Thankfully, she (and they) do go to counseling to work on this, but it's such a stereotypical situation for our society – the overworked mom, running around trying to fulfill all this expectations and both run a house/take care of kids AND have a career, meanwhile the husband works, comes home and – does nothing. Ugh.- The end conclusion is that the author's marriage is safe NO MATTER WHAT, partially due to the having children together! Which naturally results in a hierarchal approach to polyamory/ENM, which I have ethical problems with, and then upholding “marriage” as an institution in general is problematic, in my opinion.
All those complaints aside, there were a couple of good quotes.
“Maybe we only need one rule. Let's just promise to be honest with each other, and then help the other person process whatever emotions come up.”
“Love is vast. Abundant. Infinite, in fact. And the secret is this: love begets love. The more you love, the more love you have to give.”
The Mabinogion is a collection of very, very old Welsh tales. As such they sound and feel very odd and stilted to the modern ear, but give very interesting insights into the mindset and culture prevalent for their time(s). I have loved the story of Blodeuwedd for many years (a woman created and groomed to be one thing for one man who chose to rebel and forge her own way, come on now) and for almost as long have intended to read the Mabinogion to hopefully obtain a better grasp on the culture and world of that particular story. The tales included in the book are not all related - a few are, but there appeared to be two very distinct groups. One that included Blodeuwedd and those characters, and one centering around King Arthur and his knights. The translation included much repetition, as one would expect of tales that were originally meant presented in an oral fashion with audience inclusion. I am not a historical scholar but it seemed to be quite an accurate and true to the original sound and content translation. I also really appreciated the explanatory section at the very beginning, that filled in some of the context I was missing and made listening to them much more enjoyable.
A beautiful depiction of Blodeuwedd (the flower goddess, the owl goddess, among other names) by Selina Fenech.
Audio Notes: Listened at 1.1 speed. I enjoyed the narration for this, and I doubt I would have had much success in reading it in book form, as I had tried that a few years back and did not finish. Due to the very old styling and content that seemed to need more background than I had (I never was able to keep most of the Welsh names straight, mostly because I could NOT understand them and even if I could, they certainly don't look, on paper, how they are pronounced), and my modern preferences in reading, I found it hard to get through that way. This narrator kept things moving and changed voice slightly when necessary but that was rarely needed just due to the way the tales are written.
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Acing the Game had me thoroughly invested in Shep and Elmer's story and Shep in particular. He was just the best and sweetest cinnamon roll of cinnamon rolls and I wanted to hug him for basically the entire book. Shep is undoubtedly the best part of the story! I loved that he managed to be true to himself even while living in a small, backward kind of town that can't wrap its head around queer people, let alone trans people. It starts off a bit slow as we go through Shep and Elmer's back stories in some detail, from their finding of their identities, to their first romantic and sexual explorations as teenagers/young adults, through loss and finding new love. It really picks up after they've been together for awhile and Shep is running his restaurant – which, please, someone take me to this place, I NEED to try all these delicious meals. Eventually though, as often happens after relationships have been established for awhile, issues arise, insecurities crop up, and we try to deal with them in ways that may or may not be successful or healthy. Shep attempts to do this in dealing with his asexuality and Elmer's desires for more sexual exploration, and...well. The results are a bit sticky.
Overall the story has a very melancholy flavor and while I loved getting to see the journey of a trans person through finding themselves and finding love, I was disappointed in the ending between Shep, Elmer, and Willow. As a polyamorous person myself, I was so hopeful that it was going to be excellent representation for not only queer and trans people but polyamorous people too. Unfortunately that was not the case and I feel the treatment of polyamory was not well done. Sadly accurate, to the extent that people often dive into “trying out” polyamory without doing much research or introspection, but this was a trainwreck of an attempt at non-monogamy and not a good representation of it.
Audio Notes: Listened at 1.2x speed. The narrator has a very nice, interesting voice. He adds slight accents for different direct character quotations, nothing over the top. Would definitely listen to something narrated by Jonathan Davis again!
I'd never heard of Nat Arno. Or of the Newark Nazis. Or had any idea that there was a large Nazi movement in the United States before World War 2. Not sure if my memory is just lacking, or my history education, or possibly (probably) both.
The Minuteman is a quick dive into the world of the Jewish mob in New Jersey in the 1930s, the unrest that brewed there and in other cities with both large German and Jewish populations, and a look at the life of Nat Arno, a Jewish boxer turned gangster, and his often violent fight against the rising Nazi movement in his home state. While his methods can't exactly be condoned - even if he tried to avoid outright killing anyone, he was unapologetically violent in breaking up Nazi meetings and demonstrations - his dogged defense of his own people and culture and early recognition of what the Nazi groups were heading towards certainly played a large part in events of those years leading up to America's involvement in the war.
The author compares the Minutemen to modern day Antifa, not an exact correspondence but some of the methods and attitudes are implied to be the same. There are a ton of reviews on Audible that are absolutely OUTRAGED at this comparison. It seems like neither group is one that an entirely logical, law-abiding citizen would want to emulate, and both were/are organizations that take aim at groups that spew hate and bigotry about one group of people or another. I don't have much more knowledge of Antifa than I do of the Minutemen, so I'll leave it at that. Just the level of pearl-clutching outrage in the reviews because of the comparison seems a bit overblown.
Read via the Audible edition of [b:Different Seasons 39662 Different Seasons Stephen King https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1329662611l/39662.SY75.jpg 2248680]. “The Body” starts on chapter 77 of the recording.Chapter 20 - “The most important things are hardest to say, because words diminish them.”