Winter Warmers

Another unimpressive anthology. One of these days, maybe I'll learn my lesson. Maybe.

Lucky Dip by Clare London

I couldn't connect to the writing style on this one, nor did the characters particularly interest me. It was doomed from the moment it introduced a plethora of obnoxious, bratty children in a school setting - one of which pees on everything for funsies... but I also had no interest in the relationship.

For a second chance story to work, I need to feel as if the characters belong together and the wrongdoer deserves forgiveness. In this case, he doesn't and his reasons for being apologetic are completely selfish.

Butterscotch Kisses by Chrissy Munder

This is, on the surface, a story about a man overcoming his fear of heights and meeting his new beau in the process. I enjoyed the writing style and felt the author had a great handle on portraying anxiety, but I was more invested in the sibling rivalry between the main character and his twin than the relationship. It's cute, but with very little meaningful substance and some confusingly unprofessional behaviour tacked onto the end of an otherwise decent-quality story.

I believe this one could have benefited from an editor. If Matthew's audiobook is on his mp3 player, then why does it have a physical case as if a CD? And if the main story is about overcoming fear, why does it derail at the end into sexual content without divulging whether Maythew actually accomplishes his goal? An editor posing these questions could have made this a wonderful, sweet story. As is, it's merely okay.

Wintertide by Lou Harper

I skipped this one because it annoyed me with the first paragraph, confused me with poor writing, and lost me entirely when the main character continued to act lowkey racist.

In the opening paragraph, the main character goes on a rant about how he hates Mariachi music because it makes him think of “cartoon mice hopped up on meth” and “Speedy Gonzales: The Lost Years.” He then goes on to worry he might be racist for that... and dismiss it because he's half-Polish and also hates polka music. As if disliking a type of music and relating it to cartoon racial stereotypes are remotely the same thing!

After that, we get insta-lust, creepy behaviour, and the love interest throwing peppermint toffee off a pier with no regard for the damage it might do to any fish or birds who might consume it. No, thanks. Couple those things with subpar writing which makes it difficult to tell who's speaking, and I started questioning whether I should bother reading this one.

Then the main character who already had that unsavoury opener tells his new love interest: “most of the people living there are Mexicans, and a few gringos like me” and I realized that yeah this dude is probably a bit of a racist. I'd be lying to say that I feel it's impossible to have a complex character who is likeable despite things like this, or who can be redeemed with some growth. (Logan Echolls of Veronica Mars comes to mind.) The trouble is, I didn't come here to deal with this kind of thing or read a story about borderline unlikable characters with redeeming qualities. I came here for warm, fuzzy, winter fluff because the book promised stories “guaranteed” to make me smile.

When I want fluff, I want fluff, and this one reached ‘three strikes, you're out' territory rather quickly.

When in Amsterdam... by Josephine Miles

Okay, so. Right back to being annoyed by topics which don't belong in fluffy romance and certainly don't make me smile.

When I go into an anthology named Winter Warmers which is intended to contain fluffy winter romances, I don't expect to be slapped in the face with an interracial couple fighting over how the Dutch pieten (a type of elf-like lore) are portrayed similarly to golliwogs (blackface dolls) and have potentially racist undertones to their lore (I'd say it depends partially on Dutch culture, of which I know nothing, but it does seem rather questionable from an American perspective). Nor am I willing to accept when such a heavy topic is abruptly shoved aside for a comedic “knocked into a display at a sex toy shop” scene which turns into sexual tension and derails into a kinky story. Sorry, but I'm gonna need you to not go there with a couple, or a character, if you intend to immediately shove it aside as if it's just a discussion about the weather! And maybe don't go there at all in a collection of what's supposed to be smile-inducing stories.

I tried to give this one a shot, but I ran out of patience when one half of the couple (Jos) herded the other (Brandon) into a changing room full of leather BDSM gear. Brandon started fretting over how he was in over his head and worried Jos brought him there for kinky things he didn't know how to do; I rolled my eyes and tapped through the pages to the next story. I'm just really not into “anxious first bondage” scenarios because the awkward uncertainty makes me question the consent. And also, it's pretty messed up to spring something like that on a partner - let alone one you've only had a couple months - without prior discussion.

So, nope. Didn't finish this one, either. Fyi: another one-star review over on Amazon reveals that apparently the “moral” of this one is that once Brandon overcomes his anxiety he embraces the pieten and decides they're not racist after all, despite his strong uncomfortable feelings in the beginning. I don't have to explain how messed up that is, right?

A Pint of Beer, a Bag of Chips, and Thou by JL Merrow

This is yet another story in desperate need of factual editing. Specifically: if you morally oppose someone feeding their cat a vegan diet, that's fine and I agree because cats are obligate carnivores. However, don't secretly give that person's cat milk because cow milk is not good for the cat's digestive system and does nothing for their nutritional needs. And, yes, that's a part of the story - albeit a very small bit of exposition.

It also includes a bit which explains the main character's father was 19 and mother 32 when he was conceived during a night where “father was, clich?? of clich??s, the milkman, who popped in for a Christmas sherry and barely escaped with his (very) young life” and also the father is embarrassed of the son's existence. I'm sorry, but that's a little too date rapey for my fluff, thanks. Not smiling during that!

But I kept going because this one's the final story and I'm a little more forgiving of backstory... Until I reached the main character's mother and aunts talking about how they want to pair him up with someone before they die so he won't be lonely. I'm sorry, but no. Okay, just, no. Fluff should not involve talk of loved ones dying. When I go into fluff, I'm supposed to feel safe from those kind of things which make the holiday season exceptionally sucky for me irl.

Also? It's just plain a jerkwad thing to say to your own kid. Maybe don't instill a deep anxiety into their mind that they'll be incapable of living solo and absolutely must have a permanent partner before you keel over. But I have a lot of personal biases about the topic, so I know I'm not reasonable.

I did DNF though because by this point I was having no fun at all and the ‘feel good fluff' was not delivering for the purpose I chose it.

Overall

One mediocre tale, one bad tale, and three I didn't like enough to finish. I'd say that's an automatic one-star rating from me. I'm highly disappointed in how little smiling and going “awww, so cuuute” I did, and therefore consider this collection a failure.